


Hairpin curve

by Aesthetic_bane



Category: Shadowhunters (TV), The Mortal Instruments Series - Cassandra Clare
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Anxiety Attacks, Bad Parent Robert Lightwood, Bottom Alec, Dancer Alec Lightwood, Dancer Magnus Bane, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Insecure Alec Lightwood, Jonathan Christopher Morgenstern | Sebastian Verlac Being an Asshole, M/M, POV Alec Lightwood, POV Magnus Bane, Past Abuse, Past Sexual Abuse, Self-Harm, Slow Burn, Smut, Suicide Attempt, Top Magnus
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-25
Updated: 2018-06-25
Packaged: 2019-03-24 02:04:28
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 30
Words: 65,510
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13801062
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aesthetic_bane/pseuds/Aesthetic_bane
Summary: The first time Alec saw him...Everything in his head went quiet.All the tics, all the constantly refreshing images just, disappeared. When you're Alec Lightwood,you don't really get quite moments, even in his bed he's thinking, but when Alec saw him, the only thing I could think about was the hairpin curve of his lips..For Alec, dance is his oxygen, the only time he can really communicate perfectly, he's never had it easy, from being the first born to a family of lawyers( dance wasn't the dream they had for their eldest ) on top of being anti social, gay and having horrific childhood experiences, Alec doesn't expect to find someone who wants him. Enter Magnus Bane.





	1. Ocd

**Author's Note:**

> *********** TRIGGER WARNING **********  
> ( In this story Alec has gotten sexually assaulted by Sebastian/Jonathan)
> 
> I hope you enjoy and definitely give feedback on what you think

_Alec couldn't.. he couldn't breath, he could still feel the weight of Sebastians body on top of his, one hand holding his slender wrists above his head in a iron like grip, while the other went into his pants, Alec's pleas falling on deaf ears as Sebastians hands undid his own pants, pulling out his member, and lining himself up with Alec's entrance, "you.are.MINE. dont ever forget that." was all Alec heard before he felt the excruciating pain in his backside._

Alec woke up with a scream, shoving his suffocating blankets off of him, while tears fell freely down his face, a chorus of No's leaving his lips like a chant. It was honestly a good thing Alec lived alone now, or he'd of woken up everyone. Alec sighed rubbing his tear stained face, he'd had another one of his reoccurring nightmares, the first in months. He hated them, why couldn't his brain just let him have peace. With another sigh, he rubbed his puffy eyes and looked over at the clock, seeing it read 7:44, great, roughly 20 minutes before he was due to wake up, not nearly enough time to get in more sleep, might as well get up Alec thought.

It was the beginning of the week and it was already starting off rough, Alec was in his last year of college, julliard to be exact, dancing major, and today he had a internship at a local dance company in New York. Alec loved to dance, every since he was a kid, and especially after... Sebastian, he found it as a great escape, the only way to say what he needed effectively, it was the only time he didn't feel as if he was suffocating. Alec dragged himself out of bed and into the shower, once he was out, he gave himself a once over in the mirror, his familiar reflection staring back. His mess of raven black curls, still damp, being a start contrast to his pale skin, his blue eyes were slightly bloodshot from lack of sleep. Alec wasn't anything special, quite undesirable in his opinion, especially since he was tainted, because after all, who likes damaged goods. A wry chuckle passed Alec's lips. He had no right to throw a pity party, he'd brought that on himself, it was his fault, he was the weak one. Alec gripped the sink, hanging his head low, tears running down the bridge of his nose and dripping into the sink steadily, not entirely sure when they started. Why was he so weak it was disgusting.  
Out of seemingly nowhere, Alec felt like he couldn't get enough oxygen, where did all the air go? It felt as it was getting sucked from the room, a whimper escaping his mouth as memory's started flooding back- Sebastian on top of him, holding him down, pushing into him repeatedly, Sebastian whispering in his ear, the pain, going home and crying in the shower and scrubbing his skin in till it was raw, not be able to get out of bed for weeks, not being able to speak, the look of worry on his siblings faces, the countless panic attacks, the fear- all of it was coming back, hitting him like a punch to the gut, cutting off his air supply. Alec felt as if he was under water, vision getting blurry, gasping for air with no avail, he stood up and ripped open his cabinet with trembling hands, eyes searching for what he needed before he locked eyes on it, his silver savior. Snatching it up like it was a lifeline, Alec wasted no time pressing it to his skin and swiping it across the width of his forearm with quick precision.  
Alec watched as the blood dripped from his pale skin, he felt better already so he did again, once.twice. Repeating the motion until he could breath again, and only then dropping the blade on the sink, and putting his arm under cold water looking at it to survey the damage. Alec saw 4 thin angry red lines, standing out on his pale skin next to other pale lines from his other weaker moments. By the angel how could he be so reckless he thought to himself, he hadn't done it in almost a year and today had to be the day he broke, he was disappointed in himself, he thought he'd got a grip on all of this. After cleaning and bandaging his self inflicted wounds he got dressed in a airy longsleeved shirt, a sweater and sweats then packed his dance bag which consisted of his regular dance shoes, pointe shoes, jazz shoes, and tap shoes, and then finally made his way to his kitchen and himself some black coffee quick before heading out, because as Maryse always said, being early is better than late.

Alec arrives at the dance studio, Pandemonium, at 9:42, roughly 15 minutes before he was due so he wasn't entirely surprised when he found the building empty, he was about to just sit down and wait it out when a janitor by the name of Raphael let him in, after thanking him profusely, Alec made his way inside.  
Alec saw this as a perfect opportunity, to warm up a little before everyone arrived, so he changed to his dance shoes, shrugged out of his sweater and shirt since he was alone and Alec knew he would get hot quickly -considering it was June and the AC hadn't been turned on yet- then proceeded to get to work stretching. After a quick stretch, he noticed the speaker sitting in the corner of the room, so he grabbed his phone, connected it to the aux cord then clicked onto his playlist, hitting shuffle. As the chords to praying by kesha starting filling the room Alec just let his body move as it pleased.

_♪Told me that i was nothing without you♪_

Alec was throwing double tours, pique, fouettés en tournant as the music spoke to him

_♪Cause you brought the flames and you put me through hell, i had to learn how to fight for myself♪_

With that lyric Alec felt the rage towards Sebastian bubble up in him and a growl of desperation,fear,anger,sadness pushed past his lips as he hit a la don quixote followed by a kick spin

_♪I've been thrown out, I've been burned, when I'm finished they won't even know your name♪_

As the build up to the high note played Alec did a series of fouttes with perfect execution.

_♪Someday maybe you'll see the light, some say, in life you're gonna get what you give but some things, only GOD can forgive♪_

When the high note hit, Alec did a ring jump with amazing height before landing lightly on his feet feeling invigorated. As the song faded out all that was left was Alec heavy breathing. A huge smile crept onto his face as he felt tears of joy pricking behind his eyes, Alec let a broken laugh pass his lips, the sound filling the room,he felt liberated, and he could breath again. By the angel it had been far too long since he could just improv and let his body _feel_. Alec still assed he was alone so, he nearly jumped out of his skin when he heard slow clapping coming from the door way behind him, with a quick glance at the clock he registered that it was at least 5 more minutes before anybody was supposed to show, so Alec spun around quickly to face his audience of one. But what Alec wasn't prepared for was laying eyes on a man who looked as if he was  _made_ by the gods, so when their eyes locked time stopped.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "But when I saw her, the only thing I could think about was the hairpin curve of her lips.."- Neil Hilborn  
> Please give feedback, if i should continue, and if there's any changes that should be made
> 
> (Some quotes are included from the poem ocd by Neil Hilborn)


	2. Enigma

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Enter one Magnus bane

Magnus had woken up that morning and got ready for the day like any other. Shower, clothes,makeup, dance bag, coffee and he was out the door. Magnus had been dancing since he could remember, he could even remember his mother saying that he was dancing in her womb, and every significant childhood memory of his included some form of dance- he remembered his mother used to take him by the hands and dance in circles in their one room apartment like it was their very own dance floor. Magnus knew his mother had struggled with her depression and ultimately lost the battle, but that didnt stop him from enjoying the great memories they shared. Aside from that, dance had been a strong passion of his even after he was put into foster care, which happened after one of his teachers at school saw the bruises on his little body- inflicted by his father- he still found ways to learn dance, waking up early on Saturdays and sneaking to The Institute, which was a local dance studio, to watch all the beautiful dancers. One day the main dance teacher, a lady by the name of Dorothea there spotted him, and started giving him secret free lessons. So  by the time he finally settled down with the Santiagos, a good family with one son by the name of Raphael, at the age of 13, he was incredibly experienced for his age and they paid for him to continue having lessons. There he met the closest friends he'd ever had, Cat and Ragnor, on the first day he was there they instantly clicked and by the end of the day they had formed a group and called themselves the high warlocks. Once the adoption paper work was all sorted out, and Magnus was living with the Santiago family officially, he was enrolled in Raphael's school, now, Magnus had always been know for being a outgoing kid, never shying away from what he wanted, even if that meant he got picked on, but once he moved into his new school, he became pretty popular and graduated with flying colors.

 

Now at the age of 23, Magnus could proudly say he graduated top of his class in Julliard and owned his own dance studio. The Pandemonium, was his pride and joy, he had aquired it with the money that was gifted to him from his designated part in his fathers company. Magnus' father, Asmodeus, had been a very successful american businessman, who'd met Magnus' mother on a business trip to Indonesia, one thing lead to another and well, Magnus happened. Magnus' father had enough of a conscious to not leave his mother alone, so he bought her back to America.

 His mother soon found out about Asmodeus' abusive habits but had already had Magnus and didnt want to up root him from his school and friends. Magnus' father would beat his mother unconscious, and after she died he set his sights on Magnus, blaming him for his mother's death.

       The day Magnus came home from school to find his mother’s lifeless body suspended from the ceiling was one of the worst days of his life. He loved his mother and at the time he didn't understand, and ended up blaming himself along with his father. But, coming to present day, Magnus knew better than to blame himself, it took a lot of therapy but he understands that his mother just wanted to escape the hell she was in, and, he couldn't blame her

     Magnus pulled into his designated parking space at the pandemonium and made his way inside. He was always early because he liked to be warmed up and ready by the time everyone else got there so, he was a little bit more than surprised to hear music coming from the dance room closest to the door he'd just walked through. Magnus knew it couldn't possibly be Raphael because frankly, he didn't listen the Kesha. Making his way to the window that showed into the room and his eyes widened in surprise at the sight he was greeted with.

Inside was a tall guy, dark black hair and the deepest blue eyes Magnus had ever seen, dancing with with so much emotion and technical accuracy that Magnus felt his own eyes watering. His face was like a open book as the Kesha sang

_Cause you brought the flames and you put me through hell, i had to learn how to fight for myself_

Magnus heard the angry growl escape the beautiful stranger as he hit a extremely hard jump with beautiful ease and height, and for a second Magnus was sure he'd seen an angel. The pain that was clear on this beautiful strangers face was clear and it pulled at Magnus' heart, wondering what could've caused it. As the song faded out Magnus was broken out of his trance as he heard the cutest laugh he's ever had the pleasure of hearing enter his ears. Magnus shook his head and cleared his throat before making his presence known, starting up a slow clap as he entered the room.

 

"Wow that, was a beautiful peformance...?" Magnus said motioning for the angel to say his name.

"Uh, um, it's-Alec. Alec Lightwood." Alec supplied.

 

"Short for Alexander i presume?" Magnus said, holding out one ring adorned hand for Alec to shake.

"Yes, yeah, but my parents only, um, well everyone just calls me Alec." Alec stuttered out while accepting Magnus' hand shake, his cheeks turning the prettiest shade of pink Magnus had ever seen.

"Well I'm Magnus Bane, and it is a pleasure to meet you,Alexander your talent is quite exquisite, I'm quite enamored with your technical accuracy, I've never seen anything like it." Now that Magnus was this close to Alec he could really take in how beautiful he really was. Black hair, pale smooth skin, those ocean blue eyes, coupled with perfect brows, one having a slash through that frankly, only added to Alec's attractiveness. As Magnus' eyes traveled further down he took in his perfectly kissable lips, strong shoulders and oh....did he mention that Alec was shirtless? The expanse of his chest and torso were basically carved by the Gods it was so perfect, not over muscular but not even close to skinny. What ended his not so suttle assessment of Alecs perfect body short, was the white bandage wrapped around Alecs forearm that effectively grabbed his attention.

"Are you hurt?" Magnus inquired out loud, reaching down and grabbing a hold of Alecs wrist to take a closer look. Magnus didn't get to see much of anything though, because Alec ripped his arm out of Magnus' grip as if he'd been burned by fire. Looking up at Alec's face in confusion, Magnus was surprised to be met with the utter terror in the mans eyes. Not exactly sure how to respond, Magnus took a step back putting his palms up to show he didn't mean any harm. Alec didn't seem to see this though because he was already turned, yanking on his shirt and dashing out of the room, mumbling a quick "sorry I've gotta go."

 

Leaving Magnus shocked in place wondering what happened. Alexander Lightwood was proving to be a beautiful enigma, one that Magnus intended on figuring out.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enigma- A person or thing that is mysterious, puzzling, or hard to understand.
> 
> Was this good? Any feedback is well appreciated


	3. Mr. Lightwood

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alec and Magnus finally get to talking, and start to teach a class together, magnus meets Cat and Ragnor

**__**

    Alec was currently in a bathroom stall on the cold tile floor, hugging his knees to his chest as he just focused on _breathing_ in and out. He knew Magnus had meant no harm but grabbing Alec's wrists had brought vivid memories back from that day, which had sent Alec into an anxiety attack. He been in the bathroom for about 3 minutes or so, and he had surprisingly calmed down and that was left was embarrasment, so he stood up, unlocked the stall, and went to the sink, splashing water on his face to clear his mind a bit more. Alec sighed to himself, by the angel he really couldn't do anything right, was he really that damaged? He cringed to himself as he replayed the way he made his exit in his mind. Magnus probably thought him to be a weirdo, which really sucked because Magnus was absolutely beautiful. He was taller than Alec by a inch or two, which was quite the surprise because Alec was quite tall himself, he had delicious expanse caramel skin, if Alec had to guess, Magnus was of some kind of asian descent, due to his beautiful almond shaped eyes and hint of a foreign accent in his voice, his eyes were the perfect shade of golden brown, with green specks in them, followed by beautifully pink lips that had Alec quite distracted.

       It's not like Alec even thought he had a chance with someone so absolutely perfect, but, it still didn't hurt to want to make friends. With that thought, Alec took a deep breath and exited the bathroom, finding his way back to the dance room he was in before. As he entered his eyes found Magnus and his breath caught, taken by his sheer beauty. Magnus, wasn't alone though, next to him on either side was a blue haired girl, and a guy with hair that looked like a antique rose metallic color. They we're conversing and laughing so Alec decided it would probably be better to leave and not interrupt, he could always get his stuff later he thought. But just as he was about to make his escape he heard Magnus' voice, nearly making him fall over.

 "Hey Alexander, wait." Magnus said.

 Turningback around Alec did his best to suppress the shiver that ran through his body at the way Magnus said his full name. Magnus made his way over, a silent question on his face.

"Sorry.. about before, I'm fine, you just, uh, startled me a bit." Alec said as a way of explaining, rubbing the back of his neck in embarrassment and dropping his gaze.

 "Hey, darling, I understand don't worry" Magnus said giving Alec a smile that made him weak in the knees, that coupled with the nickname nearly made Alec fall over.

  The blue haired girl came up behind Magnus, eyes locked on Alec. "Are you gonna introduce us to your lovley friend here Magnus or do you plan on keeping him all to yourself." She said with a friendly smile.

  Magnus rolled his eyes and chuckled. "Patience my dear Cat, this right here is Alexander, Alexander this is Catarina Loss." Magnus said, motioning between the two

"It's just Cat for short, you must be Alexander Lightwood i presume? The new intern?" Cat said shaking his hand.

"Yes, i am, and just Alec is fine." Alec said returning her smile. Cat seemed super sweet and it put Alec at ease immediately.

  The other guy came up from behind Magnus next and they made introductions, and he found out that thean was Ragnor. After conversing for a bit, Cat told him he would be sitting in the class' that Magnus taught, so he could learn and get the groove of things there. Alec would never admit it but he was excited to be working with Magnus. Cat and Ragnor seemed like very nice people but there was something about Magnus. Alec was broken out of his thoughts when he felt a hand on his shoulder. Looking up he saw it was Magnus giving him that drop dead gorgeous smile.

 "Ah what has your mind so occupied darling?" Magnus said laughing, "I called your name a couple times."

 "Sorry" Alec said sheepishly, feeling his cheeks heating up, "What did you say?"

With a smirk Magnus continued, "I was just saying the first should be coming in soon, it's only 10 or so kids so i was thinking i could take five and you could take five, sound good?"

  Alec nodded, "Yeah that sounds great, is it ballet, or something else. I specialize in ballet, contemprary, jazz, and tap...uh yeah." Alec ended lamely.

  Magnus let out another delightfully sweet laugh, "Yes, the first two classes are ballet, next two are tap, i have a hip hop class in the middle of the day and it ends with jazz." Magnus said counting off on his fingers.

  Alec was about to answer when a tiny girl with two braids and a lavender leotard ran into the room.

 "Mr. Bane!" She screamed gleefuly racing up to Magnus and jumping into his arms.

 "Ah sweet pea" Magnus said catching the little girl in a hug and spinning her around before placing her down.

 "I've been working on my piques just like you told me, I've been practicing all the time." The little girl said excitedly.

  Alec watched the insanely cute interaction from where he stood, and asmile made it's way onto his face, it was extremely charming how Magnus got on the little girls eye level, seeming actually interest in what she was saying.

 "That's great Madzie, I expect to see great things in class today sweet pea, now go warm up." Magnus sent her off with a smile as other kids started to file in.

 "You're really good with kids huh." Alec sighted as he watched the kids conversing.

 "Yeah i suppose. I love these kittle buggers, they show so much talent and drive, it's amazing. Especially when a lot of them don't have the best home conditions in the world." Magnus said with a sad look crossing his face before clapping his hands together adressing the room, "Alright my little ones, today we bave a special guest that will be helping us out for a while, everyone say hello to Mr.Lightwood"

 "Hi Mr. Lightwood!" the kids said in unison.

  Alec smiled and waved back as the young curious eyes were directed at him.

"He'll be teaching five of you while i teach another five, he's an amazing dancer if i say so myself so listen to him, i want all of you to treat our guest nicely and with respect, we don't want scare him away, now do we?" Magnus said to the group of kids gazing up at his in admiration.

 "Nooo." the group answered dutifully.

 "Good, i actually like this one." Magnus said with a smirk glancing back at Alec, and winking. Alec's eyes widened in surprise while a strangeled sound left his mouth. He was sure he was extremly red right at that moment. Magnus snickered with a mischievous glint in his eye before turning back to the children who were giggling and looking between Alec and Magnus.

  With another clap Magnus announced, "Let's get moving, madzie, noah, matt, tessa, and will you're with me on this side of the room, jem,emma, tyler, maddie, and kai, you'll be going with Mr.Lightwood on that side of the room, everyone get to your designated side and let the fun begin." Magnus said with a wiggle of his eyebrows.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so glad that this story is getting so much positive feedback, and that everyones understanding it, I'll keep updating :)


	4. Perfectly pink

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter may be a little shorter than the others but it's just a quick lead up to the chapter to come :)

Alec waved to his group as they filed out the door, it had been a really fun couple hours teaching them ballet and tap,they were a sweet group of kids and caught on pretty quickly for the most part. What made the experience even better was Magnus, the kids loved him, he was just an excellent teacher as well as a dancer, he would break down the steps so it was easy to understand and was very patient when it took them a while to get a certain jump or sequence of turns. Magnus was even perfect at talking to the kids when they got frustrated with themselves for not being able to do something, telling them it would only take a bit of practice and hard work. The next class, the hip pop class, wouldn't be until another hour, so Alec had time to waste. Glancing at the clock, he noticed it was 12:27, and decided that lunch would be good. He turned to his stuff still left in the corner from this morning and began to change back to his street shoes. When he was finished Magnus came jogging back into the room, he'd been busy talking to the parents of the kids.

 "Alexander! Great you're still here, i was afraid I'd miss you" Magnus said, stopping in front of Alec, "I was wondering if we could do lunch?"

  Trying to mask his surprise, Alec nodded his head, maybe a bit more eagerly than he inteded, "yeah, that um sound great Magnus, i was just on my way to one of favorite pizza places a short walk away, but, you know if you're not into that stuff, we could, eat somewhere else"  Alec said his damned blush coming back.

 "No i wouldn't make your plans, plus i love pizza darling" Magnus said with a a smile wasving dismissive hand before adding, "Can i just say that blush makes you ten times more irresistible Alexander"

 Taken off gaurd by Magnus' bluntness Alec's cheeks just got hotter with embarrassment, biting his lip and dropping his head in attempt to hide the embarrassing blush that seemed to be spreading. Magnus couldn't actually be serious, him? irresistible? He must be joking. Alec was so lost in thought that he let out a embarrassing squeak when he felt Magnus grip his chin lightly, raising it so he was looking directly into those beautiful golden orbs. 

"It's not something to be embarrassed about, i find it quite adorable" Magnus all but whispered, his breath tickling Alec's face. Alec was unaware of when it happened, but Magnus was close enough for Alec to see the tiny green flecks in the pool or gold. Being this close Magnus was intoxicating, all Alec felt was the heat radiating off of Magnus' body while all he was wrapped in Magnus' unique scent which smelled of sandal wood and warm vanilla. Alec eyes dropped from those eyes to Magnus' perfectly pink lips,  all Alec had to do was lean up a little bit and his lips would have the pleasure of grazing Magnus'. Alec felt his heart racing, but in a good way, for the first time in forever. He wasn't quite sure why Magnus had such an effect on him when he'd only known him for a couple of hours but, the feelings were there. It was scary but at the same time exhilarating. Alec felt himself being pulled in like Magnus was a human magnet, taking a tini step forward, licking his lips nervously before meeting Magnus' eye's again. To his surprise Magnus' eyes were trained on Alecs lips, his own slightly parted.

  Brushing the pad of his thumb along Alec's lips "Can I?" Magnus asked, his eyes glancing from Alec lips up to his eyes.

  Eye's widening, Alec did a tiny nod in response. Was this going to be his first kiss? With the most beautiful guy on the planet? Alec tilted his head up, Magnus moving in, lips almost touching when Ragnor walked in.

 "Old friend, I found the perfect song for the nex-" Ragnor trailed off as he saw Alec jump away from Magnus, looking at his shoes embarrassedly, while Magnus was sending him the biggest glare.

"Uh, yknow what? I don't think this is the one, I'll go, keep looking" Ragnor said trying his best to contain the laugh that would come out once he was a safe distance away from Magnus. Magnus and the new intern? He didn't see that one coming.

 Alec knew he was probably bright red by now, he didn't know what came over him, it was more than likely that Alec just seemed like an easy target to Magnus and less like an actual intrest. No more than a fling, but, Alec wasn't like that, he couldn't afford it, he gets too emotionaly attatched quickly, which leads to heart break.

 Magnus came up next to Alec, "Hey, why don't we do that lunch now, sound good?"

He said with a apologietic smile. Alec only nodded in response, not trusting his voice, and started leading Magnus the way to Takis.

  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, i can't thank y'all enough for the amazing feedback you're giving me, it means a lot. Up next: the date


	5. Takis

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Magnus and Alec have lunch, they finish off the day, Something happens to Alec on his way out of the studio.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter does have quite a bit of angst in some parts of it so bear with me y'all

 

    Magnus had been so close to kissing Alec, before Ragnor had barged in, effectively ruining the mood. If looks could kill Ragnor would've been dead on the floor. Magnus didn't know what to make of the situation, he was really taken by Alec but in a more than physical way. Yeah, Magnus couldn't deny that being that close to alec had given him a heady feeling, staring down into those deep blue orbs while all he could smell was Alec's unique scent, which smelt vaguely of lavender mixed with something that was 100% Alec. They entered Takis, a brown girl with curly hair greeting Alec like a old friend  seating them immediately. It had been a quiet walk over, Alec mostly just stealing glances at Alec, sending smile when he got caught. Alec really was an enigma for Magnus, from what he could tell Alec wasn't the type of guy who talked much, but earlier, seeing the amount of raw emotion in his dance, Magnus could tell he's been through somethings no person should have to, Magnus hadn't been this intrigued by a person in a long time, he hadn't been interested in getting to know anyone past a one night stand since he officially broke it off with Camille, mostly because he'd been afraid to put his heart out there again, but, Alec...was something special. For all he knew, Alec was very well taken by another man, with looks like that how could be possiblly be single. Sighing he though that had to be it, and Magnus had just made a fool of himself by trying to kiss him.

      Alec had been great with the kids in their ballet and tap class, Magnus could tell they loved him immediately, which made him extremely happy, considering not everyone could deal with their constant excited energy for hours on end, Magnus would never admit it but, he found himself getting butterflies watching Alec's tall frame crouch down to talk one on one with each kid.

   Once they were seated then both ordered two slices of pizza from Maia the curly haired waitress who took off to get their food. Magnus looked over at Alec who seemed really tense, so Magnus decided to do what he did best, talk.

"So, Alexander, how long have you been going here? It seems like you're a regular here" Magnus said looking around at the homey styled restaurant.

 "I've been going here since i was in highschool" Alec said relaxing a bit, gratefull for the topic being something he was comfortable talking about "Maia and I actually went to school together, and this was my frist actual job" Alec said with a short laugh, "My mom was friends with the owner, Luke, and it just became a tradition since then i guess" a fond smile making its way onto his face as he looked around the room.

 Yes, we definitely need more of that Magnus thought, the small smile that Alec had on his face made Magnus' heart warm.

"Ahh, so how long have you lived in New York?" Magnus said leaning back in his chair, getting comfortable.

 "My whole life," Alec said with a chuckle, "I don't know anything but the city life, uh, what about you?" Alec said, eye's trained on Magnus.

"Well, i was born here but, my mothers from Indonesia so i learned english and her mother tounge growing up " Maia came walking over with their plates and drinks putting a pause in their conversation as they ate.

After Magnus took his first bite he let out a loud moan "Omygoshhh" Magnus said over his mouthfull of pizza, "Alexander this is absolutely delicious. Best pizza I've ever had."  Alec let out a giggle at Magnus' enthusiasm over so much at food. Alec actually _giggled_ , causing Magnus to nearly choke on his pizza. "Alexander, that has to be the cutest thing I've have ever heard, you definitely need to laugh more" Magnus stated with finality.

 Alec's blush returned but the grin was apparent on his face. "I've never heard that one before, I've gotta be honest, thank you, i guess?" He said before laughing some more. Seeing Alec laugh sent Magnus giggling to and soon enough they were both dying laughing. Magnus was wiping tears from his eyes by the time they were done.

 "I haven't had a laugh that good in a long time, wow" Magnus said sighing in contentment, eyes back on Alec.

 Alec returned the eye contact with a huge smile on his face that he just couldn't seem to shake, "me either." he said earnestly.

They kept eye contact for a while longer, a comfortable silence falling over them, just enjoying each others company. It was a while before anyone broke the silence, but Magnus was the one to do it, turning suddenly serious.

 "Listen Alec about earlier.." Magnus started, "I'm sorry if i overstepped my boundaries in any wa-" before Magnus could continue Alec interrupted. "It's fine really, we could just..yknow forget about it" he said avoiding Magnus' eyes. So he _was_ taken Magnus thought. It's not like Magnus was honestly surprised because, Alec was both nice and good looking but, man that was gonna be a pain in the ass.

"Yeah that's fine, i guess" Magnus said a bit deflated, "let's head back shall we? My hip pop class should be coming in soon" Magnus announced, receiving a small nod in response from Alec. Once they got back, Alec made a beeline for the dance room, probably to warm up, Magnus was headed there too until he was stopped by Ragnor.

 "Hey old friend. Sorry about ruining the mood before. I wasn't aware you and Alec were a thing" Ragnor said with a knowing smile on his face.

Slightly irritated at his friend,he rolled his eyes, albeit playfully, "You didn't ruin anything, he's taken anyway, so it doesn't matter." Magnus said walking away from his friend to continue his path to the dance room.

 Observing his friend closley he shook his head slowly "Oh but it does" Ragnor all but whispered to himself.

 Magnus made his way into the room and started stretching quietly along side Alec, by the time he was finished his students were filing in, this was a bigger class with older students, there was 15 kids total ages 15-18. Magnus particularly loved this class because he loved creating new hip pop routines for them to learn, he always found new music and was inspired. He smiled as he looked around at the room of teens chattering and laughing.

 "Hey guys, as you know it's a new week which means a new dance routine." Magnus announced grinning as the room erupted in cheers, "Alright, alright, i know. I'll show you what I'll be teaching you today before i break it down, as per usual, sound good?" Magnus asked, getting cheer and claps in response. Alec was sitting in the corner observing the whole interaction so when Magnus motioned him over he made his way to where Magnus was at the speaker.

 "Ok, so i already clicked unto to song so just hit play once i get into position?" He asked, to which Alec nodded in response.

"Great" Magnus said giving him a small smile, before run over to the middle of the semi circled the group had formed, standing with his stance wide, and his head down, arms clasped behind his back. Assuming this was the starting position Alec pressed play. Magnus heard the begin of the song start and he let his body exhibit the choreography he made perfectly,

_Someone put em up ding-ding-ding_

_Pulling my heart strings zing-zing-zing_

_But I’m trying to let go_

 

_But its hard enough to leave you alone with the phone goin ring ring ring_

_Please let me go_

 

_Cause I don’t want to fall in love_

_Cause the last time left me cold_

 

_When she left my house she didn’t even let me know_

_N---a she ain’t even leave me notes_

_Part of the reason I’m easily hurt_

_Part of the reason I’m leaving you first_

_Pardon that, part of me give my apologies_

_I know that working on it never works_

_I’m sorry it’s you but hey what should I do?_

_Be happy with lies? Or be sad with the truth?_

_Don’t be ashamed you see love is a game and I still want to play_

_I’m just too scared to lose and I know you are too_

_I don’t wanna fall in love_

_Love cuts just like a knife_

_You make the knife feel good_

_I’ll fight you till the end_

  By the time Magnus his his ending position everyone cheering, throwing their hats and water bottles as if they were roses. Magnus was beaming and laughing, knowing he'd done his job. "Ah so you guys liked the chereo huh?" Magnus asked with a shit eating grin on his face, getting a chorus of "yes magnus" in response one of his favorite students, david screamed, "that was fuckong awesome Magnus teach us you're ways!" Which resulted in the whole room erupting in laughter. "Alright alright, lets get some work done." Magnus said rubbing his hands together.

  By the time everyone had learned the choreo and the class was dismissed Magnus was drenched in sweat. Hip pop always did that to him, he went his hardest all the time. The jazz class came in directly after so Magnus didn't have much time to talk to Alec except for telling him which half of the class he'd be teaching and other necessary things. The jazz class went by pretty fast though bevause it was nearing the end of the day and it was always a more laid back group of teens. By the time the clock his 8 Magnus was waving bye to all of his students, and talking to a couple of the parents. When Magnus finally made it back into the room, he saw Alec walking towards the door and started walkingbeside him he asked, "Sooo how'd you like your first day working at Pandemonium?" Magnus inquired

 "Honestly? It was amazing, i love all the kids already, they all have so much talent and drive, it's refreshing" Alec said truthfully. Magnus nodded along knowing exactly what Alec meant because he felt the same way, "Yes i agree, I'm so glad you feel that way also" they were approaching the door leading outside when Magnus glanced at the clock before saying,

 

"The night's still young, any plans tonight?"

Wriggling his brows a bit, effectively drawing a laugh out of Alec before he answered, "Nah, probably just gonna catch up on a few Netflix shows and call it a night" Alec said with a wave of his hand. Magnus gave him a side long glance, "Really? That's what you're doing? No date night with the boyfriend?" Magnus said with a disbelieving tone. Magnus stopped walking when Alec suddenly tripped over seemingly nothing, catching himself on the nearest wall, and turning towards Magnus with a baffled look on his face, his coming back to his cheeks, "I-i don't have a boyfriend? Why would you think that?"

Magnus looked back at Alec brows furrowed in confusion, he was sure Alec had been gay but, maybe bi? "So a girlfriend then?"

Magnus tried again which just earned him a laugh from Alec, "That's even less likely, ladies aren't my thing" he said through his laughter, "Magnus, I'm not taken.." Alec said once his laughter subsided.

 Not taken? A smile made it's way onto Magnus' face, "Not taken? Well than," Magnus said closing the distance between them in a few short steps, "There's no reason we can't finish what we started earlier than" Magnus all but whispered, as he looked down into Alec's ocean blue eyes, his hand coming up to cup the side of his face,

"That is, only if you want to" Magnus added, backing up slightly to see Alec answer. Alec nodded

"I need to hear you say it Alexander, " Magnus said, wanting to be 100% sure.

"Kiss me" Alec whispered, barley audible, but it was there and it was all the confirmation Magnus needed, tilting Alec's face up slightly, Magnus leaned grazing Alec lips with his own before deepening the kiss. His other hand was buried in Alec's, soft dark curls at the nape of his neck, while Alec, slipped his hands around Magnus' waist, crushing their bodies closer together. As their lips moved together in unison, all Magnus could feel was Alec. Surronded by his smell, his warmth, and the feeling of Alec's soft lips against his own. Alec gasped, as Magnus tounge found it's way into Alec's mouth, sliding against his own, fighting for dominance. Magnus didn't want to stop but his lungs were screaming for air so he ended the kiss, resting his forehead on Alec's, as they caught their breath.

 "Wow" Alec said, a short laugh leaving his mouth. Wow indeed Magnus thought.

 

 

 

  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> BOOM kissing scene. I hope y'all liked this chapter, as always any feed back is appreciated. Below is the link to the dance i imagined Magnus performing. I imagined him as the guy on the right with the urban dance company shirt, check it out for more of a visual for that scene  
> ↓  
> https://youtu.be/r7m8jNAHdnY


	6. Hi

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I think i want to start posting on certain days like, every Wednesday and Friday, does that sound like something y'all would be into?

  Magnus had _kissed_ him. Magnus had kissed _him._ Holy shit. Alec thought for the millionth time that hour as he lay sprawled out on his bed. As soon as he had gotten in the door of his apartment he'd gotten a phone call from Izzy, who was eager to hear about his day at his new internship, Alec had been telling her how much fun it was and how the kids were great, before mentioning he'd been working with Magnus all day which caused Izzy cut him off saying,

 "Woah woah woah, not so fast there big brother, by Magnus do you mean "the" Magnus Bane. Owner of Pandemonium and co owner of the Institute?" Alec sat up straight in his bed, mouth gaping open

 "He's the _owner_?" Alec nearly shouted into the phone. All this time Alec thought he was just a dancer who taught the classes, but no, he was Alec _boss_.

 "Yeah big bro. By the sound of it you didn't know?" Izzy said with a laugh.

 "No, Iz, i didn't. You've gotta be shitting me" Alec said flopping back onto his bed and groaning in embarrassment. 

"What's so wrong with that? From what I've heard he's a great guy... wait, Alec, did he make a crude comment? Because i swear to Raziel i will come down there and beat his ass personally" Izzy said with annoyance in her tone.

 "No Iz, nothing like that, there will be no need for you to beat up my boss" Alec said with a chuckle, knowing Izzy was completely serious about what she said "The thing is we..uh, well, we kind of..kissed? Earlier." Alec stuttered out before rambling on, "And by the angel Iz it felt amazing, he's genuinely nice and he's great with the kids, he's uh..quite magical" Alec ended lamely.

 The line was silent for a bit before he heard his sister let out a excited squeal so loud Alec had to move the phone away from his ear.

 "Omygosh Alec! You sound absolutely smitten I'm so happy for you! I can't believe you kissed the Magnus Bane! How was it? I need all the details" Izzy exclaimed excitedly.

 "It was...ah it was absolutely perfect Iz" Alec sighted dreamily.

 "Hm, i can tell" Izzy said laughing, "Yknow what, that it, we're having kunch together tomorrow, this is a conversation that requires takis pizza and strawberry lemonade" Izzy said with finality, showing no room for arguement. So Alec agreed and the worked out a time between Alec's classes and Izzy's were they would both be free. After getting of the phone with Izzy, Alec got ready for bed and drifted off to sleep in no time. Maybe it would be a good week after all.

 

Alec was woken up at the sound of his alarm. Reaching over and turning it off he got out of bed and began his morning routine. Since he only had internships on Mondays and Fridays, he had class today, on in the morning and another in the late afternoon. He'd be seeing Izzy between those. Alec dressed in his black dance tights and plain white shirt, putting sweatshirt and pants over the outfit so it was easy to get changed there. He packed his dance bag with only his pointe shoes and jazz shoes because those were his classes today. Packing himself black coffee in his traveling mug before he was on his way, taking the subway to get to his college as usual. 

Once Alec arrived at Julliard he went to his class, removed his sweats, put on his pointe shoes and started to warm up. Alec was always the first person there with the exception of his teacher, Hodge. After Alec finished stretching and warming up he decided to take a small water break. Walking over to his bag Alec took a seat next to it, grabbing his water and phone. Taking a drink from his bottle Alec clicked onto his contacts for his phone, scrolling until he reached the M's, clicking on Magnus' name. Should he send a text? was it too soon? Alec debated back and forth for a while before he gather enough coincidence to type something out.

 Alec 'Hi'

 


	7. Arabesque

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Less about malec more about Alec. Alec killin it with them dance moves. Happy Alec because my son deserves happiness

****Putting his phone back down, Alec was about to walk away, when he heard his phone buzz. Picking back up his phone he saw Magnus' name lighting up his screen

 Magnus: hey beautiful :)

 Alec looked at the message, his cheeks heating up at the term of endearment, he glanced around quickly, noting that more of his classmates were filing in, before typed his response.

 Alec: how are classes going?

 Magnus: great, the kids were asking about you. They seem to have taken to you

 Alec: ah I'm glad, they're a great bunch

 Magnus: yeah they are.

 Magnus: so i was thinking, would you be interested in dinner? Friday night after all the classes? For a proper date yknow :)

  Alec stared down at the message eye's wide, a date with Magnus? Alec was typing his reply when a jazz shoe flew by his head.

"Hey Lightwood. Care to join the class?"  Hodge said, clearly ammused

 Alec's head shot up,noticing all his classmates were there, looking at him expectantly.

 "Sorry" Alec mumbled out, dropping his phone back into his before jogging over to his spot next to Aline who was giving him a curious glance.

 "Ok now that we have everyone, I'll go over what we're going to be doing today." Hodge said glancing around the room, "This year for our special end of the year piece, we will be doing a routine i put together to a classic song, many of you may know" taking a pause and looking directly at Alec he said, "The song Phantom of the Opera from the play Phantom of the Opera" Hodge finished with a smirk. Alec and Aline exchanged silent excited looks. They both loved the book along with the play, but no one as much as Alec. After he'd read the book in middle school he'd been transfixed, and after watching the play he had the biggest crush on Ramin Karimloo for the longest.

 "Ok so in this piece there will be pas de deux, we will have one female lead and one male lead to play the phantom and Christine. We will learn the dance in the first half of class and by the second half of the class, I will have all the pairs come up and do the choreography. Whoever i think excecutes the best will get the part. Partner up and then we will start" Hodge said glancing around the room.

  Immediately Aline and Alec turned to each other, having always worked as partners.

 "Can you belive it? Our Senior year we get to perform a song from the best musical or all time." Aline exclaimed excitedly as everyone else was finding partners

"I know right? This'll be amazing, especially if we get the part of the phantom and christine. By the angel" Alec said waving his hands around excitedly.

 "Alright it seems everyones partnerned up, lets begin shall we" Hodge said rubbing his hands together in excitment.

  Class was halfway through and each duo had learned the choreography and one by one they were going up to perform it in front of Hodge for the lead parts. Once it was Alec and Aline's turn they walked to the middle of the floor, getting into position and waited for the music to start. As the ominous chords of the song started up Alec and Aline got into character

_In sleep he sang to me in dreams he came, that voice which calls to me and speaks my name_

  Alec stayed in fourth position as Aline broke off doing a series of fouettes on pointe followed by a Tour jeté as Christine sang. As Alec heard Ramin's strong alto voice fill the room, he then began to move.

  **Sing once again with me, our strange duet, my power over you grows stronger yet, and though you turn from me to glance behind, the phantom of the opera is there inside your mind**

 Alec did a pirouette followed Cabriole over to Aline, stroking the side of her face before doing fouettes on pointe back to the middle of the floor carrying out a tour en l'air finishing it and staying in 3rd position as christine started singing and Aline started moving again.

  _Those who have seen your face draw back in fear, i am the mask you wear_

 Aline made her way back in front of Alec Arms going from first to demi second to third.

                   **It's me they hear**

  On that line Alec places his hands on Aline's waist as she does promenade in arabesque. After finishing the spin Aline steps forward on pointe,and does a excecutes the pirouette combantion as Alec holds her waist, pirouette,open, leg out to the side,front, followed by another pirouette. As the phantom and Christine's voices melded together Aline ran to Alec and they did the Cheshire Cat lift. After Alec placed her down Aline did grand jeté's to one side of the room while Alec did Russian leaps,Barrel turns and Calypso leaps to the other side.

> **In all your fantasies you always knew That man and mystery**

  Alec looked across to Aline trying best to look completely infatuated.

>           _Were_   _both in you_

  As Christine sang that line Aline turned to Alec reaching a arm out before spinning over to where he was, as if pulled by gravity.

>   **Sing..my ANGEL of music**

  At this line Alec hovered his hand over Aline's throat, making eye contact before running and doing a butterfly leap back to the center of the room.

  _There_   _the phantom of the opera_

 Aline _t_ urned her body towards Alec as if drawn to his presence, a look of desperation on her face.

  **Sing**   **for me!**

  Aline did a kick spin before walking forward on pointe.

   **Sing!**

  Aline then went into a series of fouettes

 

> **Sing**..

  Aline kept going as Alec walking in slow circles around Aline, eyes demanding and calculating.

 

> **Sing!**

  Alec kept circling and Aline kept at her fouettes.

>   **Sing!**
> 
> __ **Singfor _me_!**

 As Christine hit the last note Alec moved in and supported Alines last arabesque. After the song officially ended, the room erupted in applause. Aline turned to Alec smiling from ear to ear, and leaped into his arms, breaking character.

"We totally killed that" she exclaimed quiet enough for only Alec to hear.

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've decided after this I'll be posting every Monday and Friday so be on the look out. Also, this is the link to the song they were dancing to  
> ↓  
> https://youtu.be/8fKKiaSLLEY


	8. Was this love?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> *****TRIGGER WARNING*****  
> *****TRIGGER WARNING*****

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's Monday which means new chapter, hope y'all enjoy

 

 

 

At the end of class as Alec was packing his clothes back into his dance bag, Aline came up next to him, arms crossed, looking expectantly at Alec. Glancing over at his best friend he already knew from the look she was giving him, this was going to be a long conversation. So he finished up packing, putting his bag over his shoulder before fulling giving Aline his attention.

"What is it?" Alec said, curious about her demeanor change, especially after they'd just won the parts of the phantom and christine.

"You tell me Alec" Aline said raising an eye brow and moving her hands on her hips.

 Rolling his eye's, Alec began to walk out of the dance room, Aline follwing suite "By the angel Aline, what are you on about?" Alec said, genuinely confused.

"Ugh come on Alec, 4.0 gpa and i really need to spell this out for you?" Aline said throwing her hands up exasperated, "are you going to tell me who you were texting earlier? I was calling your name before resorting to throwing my very expensive jazz shoe at you, don't think i didn't notice the huge smile on your face," she said, shoving his arm playfully.

Alec stumbled a bit at the mentioning of the moment earlier, his pale cheeks turning  a light shade of pink, "oh, um- well, it was just a workmate,Magnus, that i met the other day at my new internship" trying to sound as nonchalant about it as possible.

"Magnus... just a workmate huh?"

"Yeah," Alec said not being able to help the smile that graced his face at the sound of Magnus' name.

 Aline suddenly gasped and stopped walking, causing Alec to stop walking, turning to face his bestfriends shocked face, "Alexander Gideon Lightwood you totally have a crush on this guy!" Aline said putting two and two together "I definitely have to meet this guy, I haven't seen you even persue anything romantic since you and Sebastian broke up," Aline said absentmindedly, walking infront of Alec, not noticing the way Alecs whole body violently flinched at the mention of Sebastian's name, "I have to go meet up with Helen but, I'll see you tomorrow Alec" she said waving behind her before jogging off toward the parking lot. Alec had his lunch with Izzy in the next 5 minutes so he also needed to go, but, he was now frozen in place. He wrapped his arms around himself a small whimper coming out, he didn't feel safe,he was never safe. The walls felt like they were closing in on him and his lungs started to hurt, all the air was being sucked out of the room and his head was pounding. Alec took all the strength he could muster to stumble forward, on shaky legs until he reached the doors leading outside, to which he basically used his whole body to shove open, falling onto the concrete outside. Taking gasping breath's of the fresh air, before pushing his back against the brick wall of the building, drawing his knees in and rocking back and forth slightly. It wasn't Alines fault that she'd mentioned him, she didn't know what had really gone on in their relationship, nobody did, everyone assumed they were a golden couple and thought they'd split due to Sebastian having move back to Europe for a higher position in his field. Alec just.. couldn't _do this_ anymore, he was silently suffering, always in pain, always afraid that Sebastian would show up again, he just wanted it to _end_. Violent sobs wracked Alec body, at the fact that even though Sebastian wasn't here he still had control over Alec. Alec _hated_ him, hated that he'd done this to him. Composing himself enough to stand up

 On shaky legs with the support of the wall, he wiped his tear stained face with his sweater sleeve,readjusted his bag on his shoulder and made his way home. He was in no condition for lunch with hus sister so he texted her telling her they'd have to reschedule because he wasn't feeling well, to which she responded with a "ok don't overwork yourself big brother, get some rest"

  Once Alec made it to his apartment he took out his keys with shaky hands, taking him a few tries before he got his door open. Once inside Alec dropped his dance bag, removed his shoes, and made his way to his bathroom to take a shower. Once he was out he changed into comfortable joggers and a tank top, making his way to his bed, he would have to skip jazz today, all of the crying had made him extremely tired and his head was still pounding. Alec climbed into his bed, got under his blankets and drifted off to sleep.

  _Alec_   _walked into their apartment_ _Sebastian_ _hot on his heels, slamming the door behind him so hard the door chipped. Sebast_ _ian grabbed_ _Alec's arm yanking him back with such_ _force he felt his shoulder pop. Alec hissed in pain "please let go.." he said in a quiet strained voice._

  _Sebastian's_   _grip only tightened, bringing tears of pain to Alecs eyes. Sebas_ _tian got into_ _Alec's face, angry and cold blue eyes boring into Alec's, "you think you can disresp_ _ect me in public,_ _embarrass me, and expect me not to be mad?!"_

 _"I_ _didn't do anyth-" Alec felt the sharp pain in his cheek and the taste of blood fill his mouth, as Sebasti_ an _slapped him in across the face, with such force he dropped to the ground, falling on his shoulder, elicitating a broken cry of agony from Alec's mouth._

 _"_ _Didn't do anythi_ ng _? So you_ _call whoring around with my biggest competitor not doing_ _anything?_ _You look about ready to bend over and let_ _him take you. It was disgu_ sting _." Sebas_ tian _screamed down at_ _Alec's curled up form. "_ _You're disgus_ ting _, do you think_ _anybody but me would really want you? Huh?" Sebast_ ian _said with a mocking laugh,_

 _"p-please sto-p" Alec managed_ _to gasp out._

 _This seemed to get to Sebastian, because he_ _came down to his knees beside Alec, bringing his hand to_ _Alec's_ _hair stroking it gently, "_ _I'm sorry baby,_ _it's just, you make me crazy when_ _you let other guys look at you like that, when you act like_ _you're not mine" Sebas_ tian _said running his hand down from Alec's hair to his cheek, causing Alec to wince in_ _pain, "_ _No one can love you like i can, no one can make you_ _**feel** _ _like i make you feel, you know that right?" he asked looking Alec in the eyes. Alec nodded slowly, trying to fight back the tears. He picked Alec up bridal style,bringing him to their bedroom, and placing him on the bed._

 _"I'll get you ice" Sebastian said, placing a kiss on his cheek, Alec removed_ _his suit until he was just in his briefs, making his way into their bathro_ _om to survey the damage. Alec_ _gasped lightly at his reflec_ _tion. On his cheek there was a angry red hand print from where Sebastian had slapped him, his upper arm was bruised from_ _Sebastian's_ _tight grip, and his shou_ _lder was sore but there was no discol_ _oration so that was good. Sighing Alec turned on the sink and_ _splashed some water onto his face. He knew he_ _shouldn't have talked to Lucian but he was bored and Lucian was actu_ _ally a nice guy. Drying his face off he made his way back into the room, notici_ _ng the ice on their bedside table with a note next to it that read_ _'went out,_ _won't be back until late. d_ _on't wait up' dropping the letter back onto the table, Alec climbed into the bed and under the covers, laying on his side before picking up the ice and placing it on_ _his cheek. Feeling his eyes_ _well up, he asked himself the silent question that had crossed his mind plenty of times during his relationship with Sebastian. Was this love?_

  Alec woke up with a start. Sitting up he wiped the tears from his face, he'd dreamt about one of the many fights he and Sebastian had. It wasn't uncommon for Sebastian to lose his temper on Alec like that and Alec never told anyone because he'd always thought he was to blame, but,that particular night was most memorable because the next day Alec learned that Sebastian had been cheating on him with his partner at the firm he owned. It had all gone down hill from there. Alec noted that it was still relatively dark outside so he checked the time, 5:15, he decided to start his day early yet again. After showering he decided to treat himself to a big breakfast, to hopefully raise his spirits. He made a stack of blueberry pancakes, eggs, sausage, and a fruit smoothie. As he was eating he opened his phone, not having checked it since yesterday. He noticed three missed texts from Magnus, two missed texts from Aline, and a text from Jace. He decided to open the ones from Magnus.

10:57am  Magnus: Alec?

12:32pm  Magnus: Is that a no?

1:10pm  Magnus: I didn't scare you off did i?

 Confused Alec scrolled back up and saw Magnus' text about dinner after classes. Shit. He'd totally forgot to answer.

 5:28am  Alec: Hey sorry i got caught up yesterday, dinner sounds lovely Magnus :)

Next Alex checked Aline's messages

1:01pm  Alicat: Dude where are you class is about to start

2:05pm  Alicat: You missed a excellent jazz class. Are you ok?

Alec sighed, he'd forgotten all about telling Aline he wouldn't be in class.

5:31am  Alec: Yeah I'm fine, wasn't feeling to good so i went home

Last he opened the text from Jace,

6:37pm Parabatai: hey bro, iz told me you're not feeling to hot, want me to bring over some of Jocelyn's famous soup?

Alec smiled at Jace's gesture. When ever he was sick Jocelyn a friend of his mom's and Jace's girlfriend's mom always would send her famous soup, it always made him feel better. Even though he wasn't sick he could never refuse that offer.

5:34am  Alec: You know i could never refuse Jocelyn's soup, thanks Jace that sounds great, just send it with Iz, she'll give it to me at our lunch today

 After finishing up his plate Alec checked the time again, 6:10. It was too early to head over to Juliard, considering that he only had one class today and it wasn't until 9. Alec knew he didn't want to try his hand at sleeping again, shivering at just the thought so, he settled on catching up on his shows on Netflix, starting with How to get away with murder. Izzy had been the one to get him into it and he was hooked ever since, he was just started season two and his favorite character was Connor. Two episodes in Alecs phone buzzed indicating a text, pausing his show Alec picked up his phone.

7:37am  Magnus: ok it's a date than ;) btw what are you doing up so early?

7:38am  Alec: Rough night, couldn't sleep...

7:39am  Magnus: bad dreams?

Alec stared at the text on his screen. Did he want to let Magnus know? He seemed pretty trust worthy but still.. having only known him for a few days, it wouldn't be reasonable, but, on the other hand he didn't have to tell Magnus what they were about. 

7:42am  Alec: Yes

7:43am  Magnus: Those are the worst..want to talk about it?

7:43am  Alec: No.

Alec wasn't at that point yet, he couldn't open up to anyone. His problems were his own.

7:44am  Magnus: ok i understand. I'm here if ever want to talk Alexander.

7:45am  Alec: Ok

7:46am  Magnus: Do you mind if we make this a phone conversation? I'm trying to cook and it'll be easier to just talk 

7:47am  Alec: Yeah that's fine

 A few moments later Alec's phone started ringing, Magnus' name lighting up the screen. Alec answered on the second ring

"Hey" Alec said, unpausing his show

"Good morning Alexander," Magnus answered in his cheerful voice, sounds of something sizzling in the background.

Alec's stomach fluttered at the sound of his voice, "What're you cooking?" Alec asked curiously.

"Nasi Uduk and Lontong" Magnus said, "it's traditional Indonesian food" he explained.

"Hm, I've never had Indonesian food before, what does it taste like?" Alec asked

"Well, the dishes I'm making, coconut and banana are the main flavors but, there is a lot of spices found in every dish" Magnus explained

"Where'd you learn to cook Indonesian?"

"Well, my mother, was from Indonesia, so I'm from Indonesian decent, my childhood was filled with all sorts of asain dishes, thanks to my mom. After she passed i learned how to make them myself so i could keep a little bit of my heritage and also remember her" Magnus said

"I'm sorry about your mother" Alec said listening to the sounds of Magnus cooking.

"It's alright, she was a good women, i couldn't have asked for a better mom" Magnus said with certainty.

"That's nice," alec said sighing, "I never had that great of  relationship with either of my parents, but i imagine it must've been nice"

"Is there a reason you and you parents never had that relationship" magnus asked

"Well, they never really agreed with anything i did or who i was. I was pretty much the disapointment to them, i was never really good enough. They had this vision for who they wanted their first born to be and i just wasnt it. I loved to dance, not argue in court,and after they realized that i was gay, they sort of just stopped talking to me or acknowledging my existance. They never threw me out or anything, they cared too much about apperances to do that but they just acted like i was just confused and going through a phase, it fucked with my brain for a while." Alec said with a sigh, "but i probably never would've had the courage to be who i really was with out the support of my siblings. They've always been there for me so we're super close" Alec finished, realizing that he'd basically told Magnus a lot of information, "sorry..for just dropping all that on you" Alec added sheepishly.

"There's no need for an apology, Alexander. I love knowing more about you. But i must say, my father, was the same way, he hated that i danced and hated even more that i was bi. I don't think it's ever right for a parent to deny their child for something they were born with that's out of their control," Magnus said passionately.

 Alec nodded along even though Magnus couldn't see him. Jace and izzy had told him that plenty of times, but hearing it from someone who wasn't family really struck a chord with him

Magnus and Alec talked up until Alec had to leave for his class. They talked about anything and everything, it was refreshing to have such a easy conversation with someone. Alec headed out his house and to the subway, taking it to julliard. Once he arrived to his tap class he began warming up, Aline came in five minutes or so after and began to warm up next to Alec, filling him in on what happened in jazz class yesterday and how Helen had taken her to the park for a picnic date. Class started and everything was going good, Alec personally loved tap in it's own special way, it was the most fun, less technique and more relaxation. As they were taking a water break, Aline suddenly turned to Alec with a finger pointed.

"What?" Alec said confused.

"I almost forgot to tell you, when i was getting my coffee this morning at Wayland's Cafe guess who i saw" Aline said with a roll of her eyes.

"Who?" Alec said, racking his brain for who it might be.

"Sebastian."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There will be fluff soon enough to balance out this angst. Any feedback is appreciated, if there's any changes that should be made let me know. See you Friday


	9. Hunters Moon

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The chapter switches from Alecs pov to Magnus' pov than back to Alecs. This is quite the rollarcoaster of feelings so, buckle in.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's Friday which means new chapter! I tried my best to add sweet moments. If there's any mistakes, sorry in advance.

 

After class was finished Alec headed straight to takis for his lunch date with Izzy. He sat at their usual booth by the corner and waited, ordering their food so it was there by the time Izzy arrived. Soon enough izzy was rushing through the entrance, the bell chiming indicating her presence. Now, his sister was naturally beautiful, always drawing the attention of the room with her waistlength hair cascading down her back in perfect waves, chocolate brown eyes framed by thick eyes lashes wine colored eyeshadow with a splash of gold in the center and eyeliner, to match her wine colored blouse and gold earrings, paired with a leather jacket, black jeans ripped at the knee and sky high wine colored pumps. Izzy immediately spotted Alec at their table and rushed over to him apologizing for her lateness, while giving alec a bone crushing hug before sitting down. Once seated they talked about everything just catching up since Alec hadn't seen his sister in so long. Izzy filled Alec in on Simon's  progress with his band and her progress in  law school while they at their pizza. Once Izzy was finished eating she clasped her hands together and placed her elbows on the table, focusing all her attention on Alec.

 

 

"Ok, now that we're all caught up in my life lets talk about yours, starting with, hm" Izzy put a finger on her chin as if she was thinkong before saying "Magnus Bane" she said with a glint in her eye.

 

 

Alec rolled his eyes at his sisters dramatics, "There's not much to tell, I met him on Monday we spent the day together or teaching his classes. At the end of the day we shared a kiss and he gave me his number. We've texted since then and called once and by the angel Iz he's absolutely perfect. He looks like he's made by the gods his talent is exquisite and he's really genuinely sweet. He asked me to dinner on Friday which is the next time I'll be seeing him. That's all that happened so far" Alec finished, taking a sip of his lemonade.

 

 

Izzy, who'd been sitting and listening intently, had a huge smile on her face, "By the angel Alec. You should see yourself when you're talking about him. The only time i see you that happy is while dancing" She said, making Alec blush a small smile playing on his lips, "I can't wait to hear all the details about that date coming up, and if you need help picking out a outfit, which you probably will just text me." Izzy said with a laugh.

 

 

"Thanks Iz" Alec rolling his eyes jokingly. They talked some more before Izzy was due back at her school. Giving another hug and promises to call more often, the siblings parted ways.

 

 

Thursday passed in a flash. Alec didn't have any classes, so he'd  spent the day relaxing at home. Friday rolled around and Alec woke up more excited than he would admit. Today was the day, dinner with Magnus. Alec got up and took a shower before texting Izzy to help him pick out a outfit for later. She suggested he wore the black jeans with the rips in the knees she'd got him for Christmas, a white t shirt and the leather jacket she'd gotten him for his birthday.

 

 

9:37am  Iz: we definitely need to go shopping soon big bro

 

 

Alec glanced at the text as he was packing his dance bag, rolling his eyes at his sister. She'd been adament on trying to get Alec to go shopping with her, saying that his baggy sweaters and worn out jeans weren't doing him justice. Alec didn't care though, he preferred comfort over the so called fashion around today. After his bag was packed he made his coffee and dashed out the door. He made it to the studio at 9:55 so most of the staff was already there. He waved at Cat and Ragnor before making his way to the dance room from Monday, as Alec walked in, he stopped in his tracks, heart skipping a beat as his eyes landed on the perfection that was Magnus Bane.

 

 

Magnus had woken up that morning ready and excited. He would finally be able to see Alexander again, and on top of that he got to take him out to dinner. Magnus did his normal routine and was out the door. He arrived at the studio in record time, being the first one there. It was 9:47 so he decided to change and start warming up. He'd just finished, going to get his water bottle when he locked eye's with Alec standing in the doorway.

 

 

"Alexander" Magnus exclaimed with a smile, maybe a bit too eagerly, as he walked towards the younger man.

 

 

"Hey Magnus" Alec answered,meeting Magnus halfway, so that they were standing inthe middle of the dance floor. The blush that Magnus loved so much colored Alec cheeks as he nervously looked down. Sensing Alec's uncertainty, Magnus stepped forward, grabbing Alec hand in his own,giving him a reassuring smile.

 

 

"It's lovely to see you again, Alexander" Magnus said rubbing his thumb across the back of Alecs hand

 

 

Alec's eyes were locked on their hands, a smile creeping onto his face as he answered, "it's great to see you too Magnus" Alec said with sincerity.

 

 

Magnus brought Alecs hand to his lips, placing a light kiss on it before he let go, walking back to his water, talking over his shoulder, "Since it's friday the only classes taught today are ballet and jazz. The last class of the day ends around 7:30 ish, and i was thinking that we could both go home, freshen up and be at dinner by 8:20." Magnus paused to take a sip of his water, "sound good?" 

 

 

"Sounds perfect" Alec said with a smile.

 

 

Their first class came in soon after and it was smooth sailing. Alec got his group of kids from the other day and met a new group of older kids taking ballet also. After the ballet classes were over the jazz class came in, it was another group of teens and Alec clicked with them instantly, it made Magnus proud. The day had been going by so smoothly, class after class, that Magnus and Alec didn't even stop to eat lunch, by the time the last class was going home they were starving. After Alec gave Magnus his adress they went their separate ways. Magnus drove back to his loft humming happily to him self. Once he was inside he was greeted by chairman meow, pawing at his ankles. After putting down food and new water, Magnus dropped his stuff and got into the shower. After he got out, he pulled out the outfit he'd planned for the night, he'd gone for more of a casual look with his deep green t shirt with his denim skinny jeans and green vans. After getting dressed he sat down to do his hair and makeup, his everyday makeup was just conceler,mascara,and lined his eyes a bit while his hair was usually kept in a secured man bun, but tonight he put on a bit of eye shadow, to match his shirt and made his wing apparent, putting on a nude lip. For his hair he styled it in his signature spikes je loved to do when he wasn't at the studio. After he was finished he grabbed his phone, wallet,keys and headed over to Alec's place. Once he pulled up he texted Alec to let him know he was there, a frw second later Alec was walking out of the building and Magnus' breath caught. Alec was a sight in his leather jacket, his long legs vlad in dark fitted jeans, he was absolutely breathtaking. Magnus got out of his car and went around to open the door for Alec. After Alec got in he shut the door and ran back around to the other side, getting in. As Magnus started driving, he glanced over at Alec with a smile,

 

 

"You look absolutely breathtaking Alexander" Magnus said voicing his thoughts from earlier. That beautiful blush colored Alec's pale cheeks as he glanced out the window, Magnus smirked to himself silently, loving how easily he could make his angel blush.

 

 

"Thanks, Magnus. You also look.. absolutely stunning." Alec said looking Magnus over again as he concetrated on driving. After a few minutes in Brooklyn traffic they arrived at Hunters Moon, one of Magnus' favorite restaurants. Magnus parked the car and ran around to Alec side to let him out, once Alec stepped out, Magnus reached down and grabbed his hand, causing another smile to grace Alec's face.

 

 

"I love it when you smile, you should do it more often" Magnus said looking fondly at Alec before opening the restaurant door for him. Once they were seated, a waiter came over to their table to take their drink order.

 

 

Magnus looked over at Alec, "Is wine fine?" He asked.

 

 

Alec ran a hand through his curls, a blush creeping up his neck, "sure? I'm not really a big drinker myself" Alec said looking a bit embarrassed, "but I'm not opposed to it"

 

 

Magnus nodded in understanding,placing his hand over Alec's on the table, giving him a smile before turning to the waiter, "We'll have a 1985 vintage port wine thanks" Magnus said with a short nod, handing the waited the wine list before turning back to Alec who was currently looking at the menu, his bottom lip drawn between his teeth and his brow furrowed slightly.

 

 

Magnus sat back, a grin creeping onto his face as he admired Alec's beauty and the adorable look of innocence on his face. After a good minute of looking Alec glanced up and noticed Magnus staring.

 

 

"What?" Alec said with a crooked smile a few of his curls falling over his eyebrows.

 

 

"Gosh you are absolutely adorable Alexander" Magnus said causing Alec's smile to widen, a light blush coloring his checks "See anything you like?" Magnus continued, motioning at the menu in Alecs hands.

 

 

Alec looked down at his menu, "honestly?not at all," he said with a laugh, "there's just so much to choose from. Do you recommend anything?" Alec said looking back at Magnus.

 

 

"Well, I'm getting my usual steak with a side of baked potato, but i do recommend the spaghetti dish, it comes with cheesy garlic bread and a salad, if that something your into, " Magnus suggested with a raised eyebrow.

 

 

"That sounds right up my alley" Alec said with a nod, looking relieved.

 

 

Magnus waved over the waiter and ordered their food, during the wait Magnus and Alec just reminisced about their dance groups and how the day had gone. Soon enough their food arrived and they dug in, Alec cleaning his plate in no time, Magnus not to far behind himself.

 

 

Alec sighed content, leaning back in his seat and tilting his head back, "That food was absolutely amazing. I've never had spaghetti that good" he said putting his hands on his stomach.

 

 

Magnus chuckled, "yes i agree,the chef here is extremely talented."

 

 

After they were both finished Magnus paid for the meal before heading back to Magnus' car. Once they were buckled in Magnus turned the Alec slightly in his chair,

 

 

"Do you want to go back to mine for a nightcap?" He asked, not wanting to leave Alec just yet.

 

 

Alec must've felt the same because he nodded with a smile. With that Magnus started his car and drove the way to his loft. Once they were there Magnus parked in his designated parking space and got out of the car, opening the door for Alec  also. As Magnus walked inside he was greeted by Noah, the doorman, who he said hi to with a smile. Since Magnus lived on the top floor he always took the elevator. The ride up was quiet, a comfortable silence between Alec and him. Once the elevator stopped the doors opened to a small hallway leading to Magnus' loft. He pulled out his keys and unlocked the door, letting Alec step in before him, closing the door behind them both. Magnus took off his jacket offering to take Alec's but he just shook his head.

 

 

"Magnus..your place is beautiful" Alec exclaimed looking around the expanse of his apartment.

 

 

"Thanks" Magnus said with a proud smile, he always loved to remodel his living area, right now his hour had a silver and black theme to it with splashes of green.

 

 

Chairman meow came from the direction of Magnus' room, walking straight up to Alec and pawing at his ankles.

 

 

Alec bent down picking him up and bringing him to his chest, "Well hello there cutie, who are you" Alec said while scratching chairmans head.

 

 

"That's chairman meow. I've had him since i moved in" Magnus explained before adding, "I'm surprised he's taken to you so quickly, he usually hates everyone" Magnus said surprised.

 

 

Alec looked up at him with a smirk, "I've always been good with animals, i don't know why" Alec said with a laugh.

 

 

"Well that's a particularly good thing in this situation, i never date anyone my cat doesn't like" Magnus said before turning and making his way towards the kitchen.

 

 

"You can make yourself comfortable, the living room is that way" Magnus called over his shoulder, pointing to his left before walking over to the cabinet and grabbing two cups.

 

 

"Is tea fine?" He asked over his shoulder.

 

 

"Yeah" came Alec's soft reply.

 

 

 

 

 

Magnus hummed a tune to himself as he put on the water for the tea, waiting for it to boil. After about 8 minutes the water was ready and Magnus poured both of their cups, adding suger and honey before walking to the living room to give Alec his.

 

 

"Sorry for the long wai-" Magnus stopped talking when his eyes landed on Alec's sleeping form. Magnus stared fondly at how peaceful Alec looked while sleeping before going back into the kitchen and placing the cups down. Magnus didn't have the heart to wake him up so he picked Alec up bridial style and walked him to one of his guest rooms, placing him onto the bed and removing his shoes without waking him. After his shoes were off Magnus went to remove his jacket, figuring that it would be uncomfortable to sleep in. Magnus started removing his jacket one arm at a time right arm than left. As Magnus fully removed the jacket he noticed something on Alecs left inner forearm, grabbing it softly, he flipped in over to get a better look. Magnus gasped lightly as his eyes landed on the multiple horizonal lined scars that littered Alec pale skin, some looking more recent than others. Oh Alec Magnus thought who hurt you. Feeling as though he was overstepping his boundaries, Magnus placed his arm back down softly, placing a blanket over Alec's body before leaving the room. Walking into his own room he started getting ready for bed, removing his clothes and make up, taking a quick shower before crawling into his bed, falling into a dreamless sleep.

 

 

Magnus woke up to the sound of whimpering coming from the next room. Sitting up in his bed Magnus checked the clock which read 5:15am. Groaning Magnus rubbed his eyes and stepped out of bed going to check on Alec. Walking into the guest room Magnus approached the bed slowly. Alec was curled up in a ball whimpering and shaking, words leaving his mouth that Magnus couldn't quite hear. As  Magnus got closer he could make out what Alec was saying.

 

 

"No...no, no, please don't, please stop, please don't do this, i didn't mean to, please, _please_ "

 

 

It dawned on Magnus that Alec was having a bad dream and started trying to wake him up, first by calling his name, not wanting to wake him up the wrong way.

 

 

"Alexander, angel wake up, you're having a bad dream," Magnus tried to no avail. Seconds later Alec let out a broken scream, it broke Magnus' heart, he couldn't let Alec keep suffer in whatever hell his mind had put him in. Deciding that shaking him softly would be the best option, Magnus put a hand on Alecs shoulder and started shaking him. After a few shakes Alec bolted up in the bed and scooted back until his back was touching the headboard, drawing his knees to his chest while his eyes searched the room before landing on Magnus, his big blue eyes glazed over with tears, and in that moment Alec looked completly vaunrable. Oh Alexander, who did this to you Magnus thought once again.

 

 

Alec woken up from his nightmare, quickly moving away from the hand that had woken him. Where was he, Alec thought while he glanced around the room. He definitely wasn't home. He thought back to the events of the day before, woke up, went to Pandemonium, taught classes, dinner with Magnus, nightcap at Magnus'... Shit he must've fallen asleep at Magnus'. Just as the thought processed, Alec's eyes landed on those golden brown orbs that were nothing like tbe icy blue ones that had haunted his every waking moment. Alec was filled with dread,anxiety,and embarrassment all at once, he'd just had a nightmare at Magnus' and had most likely woke him up by the looks of it.

 

 

"Alexander, are you ok?" Magnus asked a tinge of worry and concern in his tone. Alec only nodded in response before resting his forehead on his knees, not wanting Magnus to see him like this.

 

 

"I'm gonna go make you some tea" Magnus said, leaving the room. How could he be so stupid to fall asleep here Alec thought, what had Magnus heard him say in his sleep. A few moments later Magnus came back with two cups of steaming tea, holding one in front of Alec

 

 

"Here you go" Magnus said softly.

 

 

"Thanks" Alec said his voice barley audible. He reached his hand out from under the blanket to grab the cup when he noticed his arms were bare. His heart stopped and he drew his hand back. Where was his jacket he thought panicked.

 

 

"Where's my jacket" Alec asked, hating how shakey and scared his voice sounded.

 

 

Magnus placed the cups down on the side table running his hand through his product free hair that hung loosely, "I,well i had removed it with your shoes, i thought it might be uncomfortable to sleep in" Magnus said.

All Alec heard up to was Magnus saying he took it off. That means...he saw. He saw how weak Alec was, what he'd done to himself. By the angel he probably thought Alec was completely disgusting by now. Alec was broken out of his thoughts when Magnus suddenly exclaimed.

 

 

"You know what, I have no plans today, How about we get breakfast? We can maybe talk?" He said.

 

 

Alec stared at Magnus for a second, by talk he probably meant he was going to tell Alec it wouldn't work out. Alec sighed, deflated, but nodded, adding, "I know a place, Waylands cafe, it shouldn't be far from here.." Alec said weakly.

 

 

Magnus nodded and said, "I'm going to take a quick shower, you can as well if you want?" Alec contemplated for a second, he did feel like he needed to shower, to wash off the night but, he didn't have extra clothes. As if reading his mind Magnus added, "i could lend you some clothes as well" to this Alec agreed.

 

 

Magnus showed Alec to the bathroom in the guest room, giving him a towel and extra tootbrush before heading off to his own bathroom. Once in the guest bathroom Alec started to strip off the rest of his clothes, turning the water on, ajusting the temperature until it was so hot it was burning his skin. Under the water Alec washed his hair and body, finding some body wash along with shampoo. The body wash had a  sandalwood smell while the shapoo smelled of jasmine. It was like Alec was wrapped in Magnus' scent. After washing everything, Alec stepped out of the shower, grabbing the towel and securing it around his waist before walking back into the room. He saw the clothes Magnus had laid out on the bed for him, some navy blue sweat pants and a white long sleeve top. Alec put the clothes on, which fit pretty well, only having to roll up the pant legs which covered his feet and the shirt sleeves which went over the tips of his fingers. Once he was situated he stepped out, shoes on, jacket in hand, noticing Magnus standing by the living room.

 

 

"All set?" Magnus said noticing him. Alec gave him a nod and they were out the door. The drive the Wayland's was silent, with the exception of Alec giving directions. Once they pulled up to the small café, Magnus got out and opened Alecs door for him. He'd done that all yesterday, and honestly it pulled at Alec's heart strings, he thought that people only did that in books or movies. Once inside Alec silently lead Magnus to the table he and Aline usually sat at, and sat down across from each other. Lydia came over to take their order.

 

 

Turning to Alec she said, "we haven't seen you around here in forever, it's good to see you're back. You want the usual?" Alec forced his best smile and nodded, than Lydia turned to Magnus, " and what will you be having?" She asked, note pad open and pen ready.

 

 

"Just a bagel and a chai tea, thanks" Magnus said closing the menu and handing it to her.

 

 

"Alrighty, it'll be out soon" she said before walking away, leaving the two of them alone.

 

 

There was a tense silence that fell over their table. Alec felt Magnus' worried gaze boring into him until he broke, wanting to get this over with as fast as possible so he could go home and nurse his wounds.

 

 

Taking a deep breath, eyes locked on a spot on the table Alec began, "I want to apologize for earlier, waking you up so early with my noise, and also for falling asleep at your place at all, i shouldn't have done that. I understand that you.. um, well- that you must've seen my, uh," not being able to get out the word scares Alec just motioned to his left arm before continuing, "and i understand if you don't want to persue a relationship with me. You can tell me, and i won't hold it against you at all" Alec said finishing, taking a few deep breaths to steady himself. After there was no response from Magnus Alec lifted his head, surprised to find Magnus looking on the brink of tears.

 

 

"Oh Alexander" Magnus said sighing, "you have nothing to apologize for, it's obvious that you've been through hard times in your life that you're still coping with but I'll be damned if you think that stops me from wanting you, or caring about you any less. Anyone stupid enough to not want you for being a fighter, a person that's gone through shit in their life and came out, didn't deserve you in the first place. I still want a relationship with you, i don't remember wanting anything else this bad. For..years I've closed myself off from feeling anything for anyone, man or women, but you... you've unlocked something in me." Magnus finished, leaving Alec staring at him with wide eyes. Was he hearing this right? Someone as perfect Magnus wanted _him_?

 

 

"You don't think I'm..weak or disgusting?" Alec asked Magnus, his voice barely above a whisper not sure he really wanted to hear the answer.

 

 

Magnus grabbed Alec's hand in his own, linking their fingers together, "I could never think that about you, angel, you're so far from weak. I don't know what's happened to make you hurt, but, i know you were strong enough to have gotten through. Don't be embarrassed of your scars or disgusted, no one leaves a battle unscathed, there will always be battle scars, and who ever made you feel like you're tainted or not good enough because of those scars can rightly fuck off" Magnus said with such sincerity and passion, it made Alec tear up. Alec had been holding it together so far but he was slowly unraveling with every word Magnus spoke.

 

 

Alec could only nod, wiping the tears that had escaped his eyes. Their food arrived and they ate and drank in silence, both feeling a bit worn out, mostly from waking up so early. Once they were finished Alec insisted on paying since Magnus had done it last night. Alec excused himself, wanting to use the bathroom before they headed back out, before he went though, Magnus brought him into a hug, catching Alec slightly off gaurd before he melted into Magnus' warm embrace. Alec buried his face in Magnus' neck, his nose filling with Magnus' scent of sandal wood, warm vanilla and jasmine, it was quite comforting.

 

 

"If you ever need someone to talk to, I'm always here, ok angel?" Magnus said in a soft voice, running his hand through Alec soft curls. Alec nodded into his neck before, reluctantly dislodging himself to continue to the bathroom. Once Alec was inside he gripped the counter staring at his reflection, unable to get ride of the huge smile that took over his face. He felt as if he was on cloud 9, Magnus and him were dating, and Magnus _wanted_ him. After splashing water on his face, he made his way back out to Magnus. As he approached Magnus he noticed Magnus staring down at a folded white paper with a confused look. Once Alec was in front of Magnus he stared at the paper curiously

 

 

"What's that?" Alec asked, pointing at the paper.

 

 

Magnus thrusted the paper into Alecs hand, "Um, i was hoping you would know, it's for you? A guy, came over over and said he was a old friend of yours, that you'd know who he was, and gave me the paper to give to you. He left a few seconds before you came back" Magnus said seeming a little baffled.

 

 

Alec glanced down at the folded paper, taking a deep breath, trying not to get too worried, "did you get a name?" Alec asked.

 

 

"Yeah um, Sebastian? I think he'd said" Magnus said recalling the brief conversation he'd had seconds before.

 

 

Alec felt his mind go blank. Sebastian.. he'd been here, in the same room as Alec he'd _seen_ Magnus and him together _. He wasn't safe._

 

 

_"_ C-can we..go..please" Alec managed to get out, his voice barley audible. Luckily Magnus heard him, nodding and grabbing Alec hand tight leading out the doors of the café. Alec had a tight grip on Magnus' hand while in the other he clutched the folded paper. Once they were inside the car, Alec opened his palm that held the letter. After a few deep breaths, with shaking hands Alec unfolded the paper and his whole world came crashing down.

 

 

In the middle of the paper was a sentence written in Sebastians handwritting.

 

 

_'You're a bigger fool than i thought if you think h_ _e can_ _love_ _you the way I do'_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And boom, more angst. Did i succeed in adding more sweet moments to balance out angst? As always any feedback is appreciated and I'll see y'all Monday


	10. Ring adorned

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Monday so new chapter
> 
> **TRIGGER WARNING ALL CHAPTER**
> 
> Angsty angst

 

 

Alec was still staring at the words, frozen when he heard Magnus calling his name.

 

 

 

"Alexander are you ok?" Magnus said looking between Alec and the paper, "what does it say?" He asked motioning to the paper.

 

 

 

Alec looked at the paper and than at Magnus. Did he want to do this? Showing Magnus would open a conversation he didn't know if he was ready to have.

 

 

 

"You know, you don't have to if you don't want to Alexander," Magnus added.

 

 

 

"No.. it's-it's fine" Alec said, making the decision, Alec held out the paper to Magnus, who took it slowly. The car was silent as Magnus read, Alec holding his breath.

 

 

 

Clearing his throat Magnus muttered a quiet, "oh" before adding a bit louder, "Who was Sebastian to you? If you don't mind me asking" Magnus said, placing the paper on the dashboard.

 

 

 

Alec looked down at his hands which where in his lap, legs tucked underneath him. His mind raced as he thought about his options, he wanted to say 'he's no one' but it came out as, "he's a ex..boyfriend" Alec said before he could stop himself.

 

 

 

Magnus put his finger under Alec's chin, lifting his face until his eyes met Magnus' golden ones, "You don't have to answer this but I'm guessing from the way you reacted...the relationship wasn't healthy was it?"

 

 

 

Alec felt his eyes well up, shaking his head in response, not trusting his voice.

 

 

 

Sorrow filled Magnus' eyes as he reached over the stict shift,pulling Alec into a hug, "Oh Alexander, I'm sorry" Magnus said causing Alec last resolve to slip as sobs wracked his body. Magnus held him, rubbing soothing cirlces on Alec's back, "It's ok Angel you don't have to do this alone" Magnus said quietly. After a few minutes Alec had calmed down, his sobs just soft sniffles now. Magnus broke their embrace, looking Alec in the eyes,

 

 

 

"Do you want to go back back to my place?" He asked, Alec nodded in response, making a decision then. Magnus was right, he couldn't do it alone anymore. The drive back to Magnus' was short and quiet, Alec had been looking out the window the whole time, watching Brooklyn pass by, as he thought about what he was about to do. Once they were back at Magnus' they took the elevator up to Magnus' floor making their way in. Magnus took Alec's hand leading him to what looked like a sitting room,different from the one he was in the other day. Magnus lead him to a black couch, sitting him down before kneeling down and removing his shoes along with Alec's causing Alec to blush at Magnus actions, he could take off his shoes on his own, but, he didn't protest. With his shoes off, Alec folded his legs under him, Magnus sitting down and mirroring his position. Silence settled over them again, Alec staring down at his hands while he tried to decide, was he going to do this? He..never opened up, because why should other have to deal with his problems? They rarley ever really cared. But than there was Magnus...he made Alec want to.. _share_ what he was going through, it felt like Magnus really cared. Taking a deep breath Alec began softly.

 

 

 

"Um, I met Sebastian my first year in Julliard..he,um, had been working at the coffee shop on campus and he'd asked me out one day. After a few dates we started dating. Everything was really great, he was the first guy to want me, and, it felt great. A few months into the relationship, he started acting,uh, different. He was more..j-jealous?" Alec said trying to push out the words smoothly, it hurt purposefully bringing up these memories. Taking another shaky breath Alec continued, "I uh, had a close friend, Raj, that i knew from childhood, and Sebastian ended up getting into it with him because he thought he was trying to, um, get with me. I never paid any mind to it because it,it was my first relationship, i didn't know what to except..i thought it was- i thought it was normal." Alec glanced at Magnus who gave a small nod of encouragement before continuing, "I, um, the first time Sebastian..hit me, I-It was my fault..i had, done something and i knew he'd get mad i- just didn't know how mad-" Alec stopped when he felt the pad of Magnus' thumb swiping under his left cheek. He then realized that he was crying, when had that happened?

 

 

 

"You know you don't have to tell me this stuff if you aren't comfo-," Magnus said but Alec shook his head immediately, he'd come this far, he wasn't going to stop now.

 

 

 

"No it-it's fine,um, after that time, it just.. became a normal thing. He'd always accuse me of being unfaithful and it got to the point that i wouldn't even _interact_ with another guy, in fear of it looking the wrong way to him. I-i didn't question it though. Sebastian said he..loved me, and i never had anyone love or _want_ me, i was always the silver in the middle of a family of gold. He'd always say he was sorry, that he was the only one who could, that _no one else_ would want me- and, by the angel i believed it." Alec said pausing to take a few more steadying breaths before continuing onto the next part. _This_ was going to be the hardest but.. he's been pushing it back into the corner of his mind all this time, he needed to get it out.

 

 

 

"One day i found out Sebastian was.. cheating on me and that was my breaking point. I-i could take everything else, but that hurt too much. We'd been living together at the time and i had been packing up all my stuff while he was at work so that i could be gone by the time he came back. I was about to leave, but, he came home early. When he'd saw me and what i was doing, he lost it. I'd never seen him so angry. He snatched my bag asked what i thought i was doing and i told him i was leaving him, and that we were over. He, uh, didn't really like that. He slapped me...hard." Alec said trying to focus on breathing as he remembered the day, " He told me we weren't over until h-he said, then he rgrabbed me by my hair and dragged me to our.. bed," Alec was shaking by now trying to hold himself together, "H-he started.. _holding_ me down, holding my wrists above my head, I told him to let me go but he just hit me again. I was so scared Magnhs, i was _begging_ for him to stop, but he was stronger than me though and he,um," Alec voice broke and his heart felt like it was going to beat out of his chest. Alec closed his eyes and focused on taking breaths, he startled slightly when he felt hands on his own. Opening his eyes he saw Magnus' caramel, ring adorned hands covering his pale plain ones. Raising his eyes, Alec met Magnus' warm ones, nothing like Sebastian cold gaze. _Magnus_ was here not Sebastian. Finding strength in Magnus' touch, he gained enough confidence to keep going, "He um, pushed down my pants, unbuckled his and um- it just- the _pain_ was like no other I've felt, i just wanted it to _stop_ Magnus, i was begging him to, but he just wouldn't. Why wouldn't he stop?" Alec questioned his voice breaking. "After he, f-finished, i waited until he fell asleep before i left, going to my parents house with just the clothes i had on. I had an extra key still and just went in, it was so late no one was up, and I just- i remember rubbing my skin _raw_ trying to get hid smell off of me i-i just- it wouldn't go away. I never felt so weak and _helpless_ I-" Alec said feeling the tears drip down the bridge of his nose, "I haven't- you're the only one who knows this-" Alec was cut off when Magnus wrapped arms around Alec, bringing him into a tight hug.

 

 

 

"Oh angel" Magnus whispered, his voice thick, "I am so sorry you had to go through any of that alone, you shouldn't have had to go through that at all." Alec let go of Alec, cupping his face. Magnus' cheeks were wet with tears, his golden brown orbs so close that Alec could see the green specks in them, was Magnus crying for _him?_ "I hope you know that's _not_ love Alexander. You don't deserve that, and it was never your fault" ' _it was never your fault'_ Hearing those words, Alec felt something inside of him break, and the tears started falling freely. But it wasn't out of fear,sadness,or anger, it was the fact that sitting there in Magnus' arms, he'd never felt so loved.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short chapter y'all,, i was quite busy. Plus the new SH bloopers and teasers are having me shook


	11. Beautiful

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's Friday so that means new upload. Just Malec spending the day in. Fluff fluff fluff

 

Alec woke up and noticed three things, one, he wasn't at his own apartment two,it was still light outside and three, his head was resting on a body, not a pillow. Alec turned his head and his nose filled with the familiar sandal wood scent.  _Magnus_ hethought. Feeling his body relax at the smell, Alec smiled sleepily and opened his eyes, finding Magnus' golden brown ones staring back.

 

 

Blushing Alec buried his face in Magnus' neck, "How long have you been up?" Alec mumbled quietly, his voice raspy from sleep.

 

 

Magnus smiled down at Alec, lifting his finger to Alec's cheek tracing it, "For a  little while, i didn't want to wake you, you looked so peacful" Magnus said in a soft voice.

 

 

Alec felt his cheeks heat up further at the thought of Magnus watching him sleep, "Sorry to fall asleep in your house again I-" Alec started embarrassed.

 

 

Magnus put a finger over Alec's lips, "Sh, i quite enjoyed you sleeping on me angel" Magnus said causing Alec to blush once again, "I love that blush," Magnus said running his finger tips over Alec's cheeks again before meeting his eyes, "Beautiful" Magnus whispered with such sincerity in his voice Alec's heart skipped a beat.

 

 

"I'm really not" Alec said in a barley audible voice. Magnus raised Alec's chin, looking him in the eyes with a emotion Alec couldn't quite place.

 

 

"Alexander, darling, you're the most beautiful person I've met. Both inside and out, you're extremly strong,talented, and selfless person. So yes, you _really_ are, in all extensive purposes of the word, _beautiful_." Magnus said looking at Alec affectionately. Alec felt a warm feeling spread in his chest. Here lying with Magnus, it felt like they were in their own world, their own bubble that noone could ever come into, Alec felt safe. Before he got lost in those gold brown orbs, he let his eyes wander further down Magnus' face, landing on those perfect lips, causing him to lick his own. Alec _really_ wanted to lean in a kiss those lips, but, was he even allowed to do that? It probably didn't matter, he wasn't much good anyway. Blushing, slightly embarrassed at his sudden thoughts Alec tore his gaze from Magnus' lips, taking a deep breath before meeting his boyfriends gaze once more. Magnus, looked back, before his eyes dropped to Alec's lips. Feeling his face heat up Alec drew his bottom lip between his teeth out of habit. Alec watched as Magnus' hand ran slowly but deliberately up his arm, his touch against Alec's skin feeling like he left a trail of fire, until he reached his face, where he stopped, thumb brushing over Alec's now parted lips as he finally spoke,  "Can i kiss you?" Magnus asked in a low voice, shifting his intense gaze back to Alec's eyes. Feeling his heart stutter Alec slowly nodded, Magnus' touch too distracting to form a sentence.

 

 

"I need you to tell me verbally angel" 

 

 

Magnus added even softer, brushing their noses together.

 

 

"Yes" Alec whispered breathlessly.  At Alec's request, Magnus leaned in and closed the rest of the distance between them,placing a soft kiss against Alec's lips before kissing him properly. Alec immediately melting into the kiss. Kissing Magnus was _electrifying_ , it gave Alec a heady feeling, the warmth radiating off of Magnus to Alec, his intoxicating smell, his soft lips, and his touch all together made Alecs head spin. The languid kisses they'd been exchanging slowly caught fire, and Alec felt the increasing need to be closer to Magnus. Pushing Magnus on his back, Alec straddled him, his fingers found their way into Magnus' silky hair, infatuated with its product free feel. Alec felt like he was soaring. He let out a soft moan as Magnus' hands came to rest at Alec's lower back, slipping under his shirt, making the skin there burn up. Alec never wanted to stop. The feeling that came with kissing Magnus was like none other, Alec felt like he was burning up in the best way possible. The need for air was becoming more and more insistant though, causing Alec to break the kiss, resting his forehead on Magnus', eye's still closed as they tried to catch their breath. After Alec caught his breath, he slowly opened his eyes, finding Magnus' dilated pupils trained on him.

 

 

Letting out a hum of contentment Alec snuggled into Magnus arms, "By the angel" he whispered, "Is it always like that?" He asked, proping his chin up on his arms so he could look up at Magnus.

 

 

Magnus chuckled as he looked down at Alec, making his chest vibrate, "With you, it seems to be that way" He said, brushing a curl off of Alecs forehead.

 

 

"Hmm, i might need to do it again, yknow for scientific purposes" Alec said moving in again for another kiss.

 

 

"Yeah of course , anything for science" Magnus said with a smile before their lips touched. Alec immediately parted his mouth, letting Magnus' tounge slide in, exploring his mouth and driving him crazy.

 

 

Alec detatched their lips, moving to kiss down Magnus' jaw, marveling at the way it elicited a gasp from Magnus before moving further down to his neck. He wasn't the most experienced but, by this point Alec didn't care. He wanted to kiss the expanse of that smooth caramel skin. Once Alec reached Magnus' collar bone he bit down before soothing the area with licks and kisses. Moving back up, Alec went to Magnus' ear, soflt biting and sucking on his lobe, causing Magnus to inhale sharply, his grip on his waist to tighten.

 

 

"Alexander, angel" Magnus said in a raspy voice getting Alec's attention, "We should stop" Magnus said, cupping Alec's face. Alec looked down at Magnus curiously. Was he doing something wrong?

 

 

"Did I..do something wrong?" Alec said voicing his thoughts.

 

 

Magnus shook his head with a smile, "No, quite the opposite really, you're just doing everything right" Magnus said brushing Alec's cheek. Alec looked down at Magnus, even more confused. He must've sensed Alec confusion because he  shifted Alec's body further down and Alec felt what he meant. Alec blushed sheepishly when he felt Magnus' obvious arousal.

 

 

"Sorry" Alec said, shifting off of Magnus so they were lying side by side again. "I'm not ready...to do that just yet, i hope you're ok with that" Alec said softly averting his gaze from Magnus' feeling ashamed. Shouldn't he be able to? He _wish_ he could but, even though he was no longer was a virgin, he still wanted his next sexual encounter to mean something, especially if it was with Magnus. Even if he didn't want to admit it, he was slowly falling for the taller man. Alec was broken out of his thoughts by Magnus grabbing his hand, linking their fingers together.

 

 

"Hey, get out of your head angel. It's ok, this isn't about sex with us, we'll only do any of that when you're 100% ready, ok?" Magnus said running his thumb back and forth over Alec's knuckles.

 

 

Alec nodded, eyes locked on their connected hands. He couldn't help but feel extremely guilty though, he should be able to be a good boyfriend and give Magnus pleasure.

 

 

"Hey, what did i say? Darling, you're over thinking it. Look at me" Magnus said, causing Alec to slowly lift his eyes until he met Magnus' golden green ones.

 

 

"I want more than sex with you Alexander." Magnus repeated more firmly.

 

 

"But, I-I should be able to..give you _that"_ Alec said letting out a small huff.

 

 

Magnus shook his head, bringing his hand up to cup Alec's cheek, "You don't owe me anything Alexander, sex isn't required for a relationship, and just know i don't expect that from you. We'll cross that bridge when we get there. Right now, this is more than enough for me" Magnus said placing a kiss on Alec's nose.

"Ok.." Alec said a little more sure this time.

 "Good. Now, do you want to watch a movie? I have a couple here" Magnus said motioning to the cabinet in the corner of the room.

Alec sat up from his lying position on Magnus nodding enthusiastically. He loved movies, especially older films. "Do you have Casablanca?" Alec asked. He probably looked like a excited child right now but he found himself not caring.

"Indeed i do, it's one of my favorites" Magnus said, before carefully sliding Alec off his lap and going to shuffle through the cabinet. After a few seconds of looking he came back up with the dvd in hand. After putting the movie in, Magnus settled back down next to Alec, pulling him close and linking their hands again. As the movie started up Alec deopped his head to Magnus' shoulder, his unique scent surronding him like a blanked. Here, on the couch watching old movies with Magnus, Alec felt safe and comfortable and... _happy_. Alec again asked himself the question that he had asked so long ago. Was _this_ love?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A pure chapter of our babies just being happy. Alec's learning how to be loved my someone. There is most likely spelling mistakes so sorry in advance. Comment's and feedback is well appricated, I'll respond to any questions. Thanks for all the love on the other chapter. See y'all Monday


	12. Mi corazon

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Monday so new chapter. This goes from Magnus' pov to Alecs than back to Magnus'. Enjoy!

 

 

     Sunday had passed by surprisingly quick and before Magnus knew it, it was Monday again, which, was slowly becoming his favorite day of the week. He'd spent basically the whole weekend with Alec getting to know each other and just enjoying each other's company. On top of that he would be seeing him today at the stuio so he had woken up in a particularly good mood. Magnus pulled up to the studio, hoping out of his car and walking in. He made his way to the main dance room, waving to Cat on the way. He was about to walk in when he heard the music. Alexander he thought with a smile. Silently backing up, Magnus peered through the window, watching Alec lost in the music. Watching him now felt like day vs night to when Magnus first watched Alec dance from this position. Judging by the way Alec was dancing around the room with an openly happy expresion on his face, he was in a better place than before. Just watching the pure joy on his face made Magnus instantly happy himself, a warm feeling spreading in his chest. Happiness looked good on Alec.

  "Ah, you look positivly smitten old friend" Ragnor said causing Magnus to startle slightly and turn towards him.

Sighing Magnus met Ragnors knowing gaze, "You always did know how to read me well" Magnus said with a chuckle, "There's something _about_ him Rags, we spent this past weekend together at my loft just .. _talking_ , and it was the best time I've had in a long time. I don't know what he's doing to me" Magnus said truthfully.

 Ragnor nodded in understanding, "You're falling in love old friend, someone has finally come and tore down those walls? huh" Ragnor said with a hint of disbelief, causing Magnus to scoff.

 Magnus turned his head, eyes going back to watching Alec in the dance room, before saying, "I don't know about.. _love_ but, thee certainly is something special about him" Magnus said, more to himself than to Ragnor.

 Ragor chuckled, "mhm. Well, Cat, Raph, and i were planning on having lunch together, care to join?" He asked.

 Tearing his eyes aways from Alec Magnus smiled at Ragnor and nodded, "of course" he said immediately before adding,  "Can Alexander come?" Magnus knew he probably sounded attatched but he didn't care because, so what if he was? Ragnor let out another chuckle.

"I thought you'd ask that. Of course he can, I'd like to properly know who my friend's dating anyway, it all works out. Lunch at Javas?" Ragnor said with a knowing smile.

 Groaning Magnus nodded, "Just don't make it weird ok? We dontt need you pulling out the "if you hurt my friend I'll hurt you" speech" Magnus said before turning and walking into the room, going to greet his beautiful boyfriend.

Alec woke up on Monday extremely happy. He'd had a nightmare free sleep, which meant he got a full amount of sleep for the first time in a long time. He couldn't help thinking that spending Saturday and some of Sunday with Magnus was the cause. Though he wouldn't admit it, when he got back to his own bed, it felt extremely empty and a little without having Magnus' warm body there to fall asleep next to. He'd gotten to the studio early, just so he could warm up and be ready by the time Magnus came in. After stretching and warming up, he got out his jazz shoes and clicked onto his playlist. When he heard the starting chords of mystery of love starting to play his heart skipped a beat. Did his playlist always know what to play? Shaking out his limbs he let his heart and emotions move his body.

_Oh to see without my eyes_

_The first time that you kissed me_

_Boundless by the time I cried_

_I built your walls around me_

 

Alec was spining, jumping, soaring. He felt so _free,_ was this all due to Magnus?

 

_Oh, oh woe-oh-woah is me_

 

_The first time that you touched me_

 

_Oh, will wonders ever cease?_

 

_Blessed be the mystery of love_

 And what a mystery love was. Sebastian had made Alec belive for so long that what they had was _love_ and it wasn't.

_Lord, I no longer believe_

_Drowned in living waters_

_Cursed by the love that I received_

_From my brother's daughter_

_Like Hephaestion, who died_

_Alexander's lover_

_Now my riverbed has dried_

  
_Shall I find no other?_

 

_Love_ could be a curse, he knew that now, because a part of him had fallen in love with Sebastian before all the abuse started. But _Magnus_ had come into his life and made him feel things that he never thought he could or he deserved. He felt accepted and loved _completely_ for the first time in his life. Was _this_ love?

 

_Oh, oh woe-oh-woah is me_

_I'm running like a plover_

_Now I'm prone to misery_

_The birthmark on your shoulder reminds me_

Alec did a ariel followed by a seris of turns around the room. He loved this song. It was joyous song but, it had a reality to it.

_How much sorrow can I take?_

_Blackbird on my shoulder_

_And what difference does it make_

_When this love is over?_

_Shall I sleep within your bed_

_River of unhappiness_

_Hold your hands upon my head_

_Till I breathe my last breath_

Alec spread his arms out wide, turning in place, letting his arms slowly rise up. He never wanted whatever was happening between he and Magnus to end, but, did Magnus even feel this strongly? Alec stopped dancing, sinking to the floor and staring at his reflection in the mirror as the rest of the song played out. Pale skin, messy curls, blue eyes. Was it normal to get attached this quickly? It scared him. If he was honest he's never felt this way.

_Oh, oh woe-oh-woah is me_

_The last time that you touched me_

_Oh, will wonders ever cease?_

_Blessed be the mystery of love_

As the song ended and another one came on, Alec pushed himself off the ground and walked over to his bag to get his water. Alec was putting the cap back on when felt arms wrap around his waist from behind, a head coming to rest on his shoulder. He smiled as that familiar smell of Magnus filled his nose. He hummed happily and leaned into his touch.

"Hey" Alec said softly.

"Hi angel" Magnus' silky voice replied.

 Alec let his eyes flutter close for a second, the smile still present on his face, before turning in Magnus' arms, facing his beautiful boyfriend. Brushing their noses together Alec met Magnus' golden gaze.

"Ragnor invited us to lunch with Cat and Raph, would you be interested in coming?" Magnus asked him in a soft voice, his breath tickling Alecs face.

"I would love to" Alec answered immediately, bringing his arms around Magnus' neck.

"Good" Magnus said planting a kiss on Alec's lips before going to place his stuff down. "Today it's ballet, jazz and hip pop classes as usual. Theres a space of free time between tbe ballet class and the hip pop class, we'll go then." Magnus said sending a brilliant smile Alec way. Slowly students started trickling in with their excited chatter and the day began.

Alec was saying goodbye to his five students and stopping to have a conversation with some of the parents while Magnus put on his jacket collected his shoes. Once Alec was done he walked over to Magnus with a smile on his face.

"Getting ready for lunch?" Alec asked Magnus who nodded in response.

"We're gonna be eating at a little hole in the wall café called Javas. The vanilla crêpes and Petit Gâteau there are to _die_ for," Magnus said with the perfect french accent and such flourish that Alec couldn't help but giggle and place a small peck on Magnus' lips.

"You're adorable" Alec said, feeling his face warm at his boldness. Magnus looked almost surprised as Alec felt for a second before a smile spread onto his face. "You continue to surprise me Alexander" He said in a soft voice.

Pulling on his sweater and shoes Alec looked up at Magnus, feeling a sense of pride wash through him , "In good ways I hope" he said

"It's _d_ _efin_ _itely_ good " Magnus said, reaching down and grabbing Alec's hand, pressing a kiss onto the back of it before saying, "Let's go"

 Magnus pulled up to Javas, parking the car on the curb before getting out and opening the car door for Alec. Java's was one of the places Magnus had been going to since childhood. He, Cat, and Ragnor had found it one day when walking to Magnus and Raphael's house after practice. Since than it had been their private escape. When Magnus and Alec walked in, hand in hand, Magnus immediately spotted his friends in the corner. After walking over and greeting his friends he and Alec sat side by side, Alec reaching for Magnus hand under the table which he immediately grabbed smiling slightly. Raphael was giving Magnus a weird look which Magnus was about to ask about when he opened his mouth.

"So..how long has this been a thing?" He said with his usual Raphael bluntness.

Alec, who had been taking a sip of his water, essentially choked causing Magnus to send his boyfriend a apologetic look before looking back at Raphael with a glare. Ragnor and Cat seemed to see this as an opening for them to ask questions too and before Magnus could even say anything they started throwing out questions.

"How could you not tell me yet Magnus" Cat asked

"Where are you from Alec"

"How old are y-"

Magnus cut them off with a wave and a muttered 'alright alight', "Could you guys be anymore forward?" Magnus said placing a hand on his temple as if staving off a headache before answering his question, "We've been officially going out for almost a week now, Raph, i was going to tell you Cat but I've been caught up, as for the other questions, they are irrelevant right now," Magnus said a bit begrudgingly before adding, "But can we not make this a interrogation? I actually like this one, don't scare him off" Magnus said half joking half serious. All of his friends collectively nodded and the conversation became smooth and effortless at oncd. His friends were getting along with Alec really well which made Magnus extremely happy, they were the only people Magnus considered family, the only people whose opinion could matter to Magnus. Once the food they ordered came, Magnus took a chocolate filled croissant,strawberry lemonade, and a doner kebab, while Alec ordered a sandwich and salad, along with crepes that Magnus insited he get, they dug in. Magnus occasionally feeding Alec a piece of his meal causing that beautiful blush to graze Alec's cheeks.

Magnus was admiring Alec's beauty when  a small piece of bread came flying by his face. Turning slightly annoyed he was met with Raphael's bored looking gaze, "Ay dios mios, you guys are sickenly sweet" Raphael said and despite his ever bothered look, Magnus knew him well enough to know this was his way of caring. Magnus was about to throw back a coy remark when Raphael's drifted over Magnus' shoulder and his expression turned to one of pure annoyance and suppressed rage.

"What is it Raph?" Magnus said a light smirk on his face from their previous banter, "You look like you've seen a ghost" he said trying to lighten the mood. Looking over to Cat and Ragnor he noticed their chatter had ceased and they had pensive looks on their face, seemingly all looking at the same space. Magnus was about to turn around to see what the fuss was about when Catarina grabbed his arm.

"Don't. Magnus don't turn around" Catarina said her eyes clouded over with a sadness and worry that made Magnus even more worried.

"Guys, what is it?" Magnus asked, his voice taking a serious tone. Looking between his three friends. When none of them answered Magnus yanked his arm out of Catarina's grip and spun around, eye's immediately locking on what they were all talking about.

He felt the smile drop from his face and he must've visibally wilted because he felt Alec's worried gaze burning into him. But all he could do was keep his eyes locked on those chocolate brown ones. Coming towards him, with a devilish smile on her face, was one Camille-fucking-Belcourt. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope y'all enjoyed. Any feedback is appreciated as always. See you Friday


	13. Java

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Camille’s the most hated

   Alec watched Magnus' smile drop and his whole demeanor change as he turned around and locked eye's with her. Whoever she was her presence was making Alec uneasy. Alec too, was turned around, and he noticed the girl, with silky blonde locs and red lipstick traveling directly  towards their table, but, what he didn't understand was why Magnus and his friends were reacting the way they were. Magnus had a hard to read expression on his face which only put Alec on gaurd. Instinctively, Alec put a hand on Magnus' thigh in effort to comfort him. This seemed to break Magnus out of his frozen state because he flicked his eyes over to Alec and grabbed his hand in his own squeezing lightly, before turning back around and locking eyes with Raphael.

"Don't." Was all Magnus muttered before the blonde was finally standing in front of their table. Now that she was closer Alec could see, she indeed was beautiful, delicate features, long flowing hair and red lipstick, makeup. But, despite her beauty, her eyes held a off putting cold and calculating look, like everything she was about to do was carefully thought out before she even did it.

"Long time no see, huh love" she said in a sickeningly sweet tone. She was saying this to Magnus. Alec knew this because her eyes were locked on his but...why did she call him that? Love. It was a intimate name and Alec felt his heart sink. Was this...Magnus' girlfriend?  
As if the girl just sensed there was other people at the table, those eyes glanced around at Cat, Ragnor, and Raphael before landing on Alecs. The smile dropped from her face for a split second as her eyes then landed on he and Magnus' hands clasped together, resting on Magnus' lap. She stepped closer to Magnus, placing a hand on his shoulder as a tight smile made it's way unto her red lips.

"Who is this, love" She said tilting her head to the side in what seemed like confusion. Alec's eyes were locked on her hand. On Magnus' shoulder, and Magnus, wasn't making any move to rid himself of her touch. The realization sunk in and Alec felt his heart tear a bit.

"You need to leave, Camille" Alec heard Magnus' voice say. Camille. So that was her name.

A light laughter sounded and than came her response, "Oh.My.Lilith. Is this your new boy toy of the month?" She said as if it was the funniest joke ever, "Hm, you do have a type don't you. Black hair, blue eyes. Basic" Camille said, her voice taking a mocking tone. At this Alec bremoved his hand from Magnus' grasp and ducked his head, staring at his lap. Is..that was this was to Magnus? A game? Alec had been niaeve enough to this it was the beginning of love.. but.. Camille obviously knew Magnus and... this seemed to be a common thing for him. Alec wasn't special. He felt Magnus' gaze on him but he didn't look up. He couldn't. If he looked into those green orbs he would break, and he would not give Magnus the satisfaction of seeing him break.

"My personal life is none of your buisness anymore, it stopped being any of your buissnes when you left so." He felt Magnus stand up and he couldn't help but look up then. Magnus was towering over the girl-Camille, even in her stilettos, and he looked angrier than Alec had ever seen him. His usual calm and easy smile was replaced by a stormy look in his eyes, his lips in a scowl. Alec was probably wide eyes right now but, he couldn't help it."I suggest. You. Leave." Magnus said, putting emphasis on each word. Camille on the other hand, didn't look phased at all. She stepped closer to Magnus stroking his cheek, making a tsking sound.

"Are you still mad about that baby? Really, you're so dramatic. I'm here now, so, you can get rid of your toy" She said sparing Alec a glance. Alec felt the tips of his ears burning with embarrassment as he dropped his gaze again. He was fully prepared to bolt when Magnus’ finally came.

“Alec isn’t a toy, and we’re never getting back together, Camille, you need to leave” Magnus said.

Alec heard Camille’ scoff, “Whatever,call me when your done with that “ she said causing Alec to flinch slightly before he heard the sound of her heels depart. The table was quiet for bit before Alec heard the scrape of a chair being pushed back, causing his head to snap up. He saw a very angry Raphael storming out of the room, causing Ragnor to go after him. Catarina went after Ragnor and than it was just the two of them.

Alec after a few seconds, Alec dared to look to Magnus and saw him looking back. He had a worried look in his eyes and Alec couldn’t help the tears that broke. In no time Magnus’ arms were around Alec, hugging him close. He didn’t mean to cry but he felt so confused and stressed.

Would Magnus break his heart?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Was really busy as of late hope y’all like anyway, feedback is appreciated


	14. Ocean Blue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Angst angst, what’s new . Monday so a new upload, it might be a bit short but I had the whole chapter written, and when I went to go transfer it here, it deleted all of it ;-;  
> Nevertheless, I hope y’all enjoy
> 
> ***MILD TRIGGER WARNING***

 

  
      Magnus was currently on a sofa in his loft, holding Alec securely in his arms. Alec was still crying,face buried in Magnus’ chest. His tears were soaking the spot but Magnus couldn’t bring himself to care. After Camille had left Alec wouldn’t stop crying so, Magnus took off for the rest of the day and texted Cat that he would need someone to fill in for his classes. He then drove he and Alec to his loft and here they were. He felt absolutely terrible that Alec was crying, and that Camille had come and ruined their good time. The way she was so cocky and arrogant in the fact that Magnus would just come crawling back to her was infuriating and embarrassing. The fact that she had to do it in from of Alec no less.  
After a few more minutes Alec’s crying seemed to come to a halt so Magnus cupped Alec’s face, tilting it up so he could look into those ocean eyes. To his dismay he found Alec’s eyes screwed firmly shut.

“Alexander darling, open your eyes please, look at me” Magnus said almost pleading at this point. After a few seconds that brilliant blue shone through Alec’s long dark eyelashes. Magnus smiled fondly at Alec. He was about ask if Alec was ok when suddenly Alec climbed onto his lap, his long legs on either side of Magnus’ thighs. Before Magnus could ask him what he was doing Alec took his mouth in a messy, fast kiss while his hands went down to Magnus’ belt, unbuckling it clumsily.

Woah, what the hell. Magnus grabbed Alec’s face, softly separating their lips, letting out somewhere between a surprised and confused, short laugh, “Woah Alexander what are you doing?” Magnus asked looking intently at Alec. He watched as Alec’s face went from nervous and determined to embarrassed and unsure.

“I-I thought that what you wanted..” Alec said, his eyes searching Magnus’. Magnus felt his brows furrow and Alec’s expression turned to one of a sad realization.

“Oh. Don’t worry I understand, I mean who would want unattractive,damaged goods like me anyway,” Alec said with a tight lipped smile and a self deprecating  scoff. He scrambled off of Magnus’ lap and made his way to the door, “I’ll just go” he muttered.

Magnus’ eyes were wide with shock, trying to process what had just happened. Did Alec just call himself..damaged goods? At this Magnus snapped out of his stupor and scrambled up from a sitting position, grabbing Alec by the shoulder to stop him.

“Angel no, you are not damaged goods. And you’re fucking _beautiful_. But, I want to take that next step with you when the time is _right_. I don’t want sex if you don’t want it either” Magnus said trying to catch Alec’s eyes, which were staring off past Magnus’ arm.

Magnus stepped closer to Alec, putting a finger under his chin and tilting it up so that Magnus could look Alec in the eyes “Darling why did you think I wanted that from you? Especially if you weren’t ready” Magnus said still utterly confused on what brought on Alec’s behavior.

  
Alec looked up at Magnus before dropping his gaze, a blush coloring his cheeks, “Well after what Camille said- and then you brought me here..I just assumed that you- that I’d-” Alec shook his head, hair falling over his blue eyes. Magnus’ eye’s widened almost comically, before Magnus cut in, “Oh Alexander, darling I’m so sorry if I made you feel like I was expecting anything from you by bringing you here, I hope you know that I would never want that from you if you aren’t 100% comfortable. As for Camille...she’s a egocentric bitch that only cares about herself” Magnus said with a huff and a roll of his eyes before continuing, “We..dated once upon a time, and much like your old relationship, it wasn’t a healthy one. I was completely in love with her, and would do anything for her, and she just constantly cheated on me and talked down to me, verbally abusive. I shared..personal, things with her and she just threw them back in my face for her own..twisted amusement. After a lot of convincing from my friends,I said fuck it, and left her. We were always a oN and off thing so I guess she still thinks I’m going to come back to her..” Magnus said sighing and tucking a strand of hair that came loose of his bun behind his ear “I..well, after we broke up, I hate to admit it but I was a bit broken. I felt a void in my chest and I filled it with sex and parties and booze. It was a one night stand every night, men and women. And I guess... that’s what Camille was making a reference to. Since you’re the first person I’ve actually wanted something more than sex with, I guess she felt the need to, be little you. Which is not ok at all” Magnus said finally finishing.  
Searching Alec’s face for answers Magnus was met with a unreadable expression, “Angel, tell me. What’s on your mind?” Magnus said.

Alec looked to the side before his blue eyes met Magnus’ golden ones, a sliver of insecurity cracking through his expression for a split second before it was gone as quick as it came.

“How many?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So how was it? All feedback is appreciated, see y’all Friday


	15. Egocentric

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Friday, which means another chapter. Alec's insecurities rear their heads yet again but..so does Magnus'. We get a tiny glance behind that confident,glittery,armour. Enjoy!

 

 

 

   Alec was in Magnus’ arms. His crying had just subsided and he was just breathing in Magnus’ intoxicating scent.  His mind was racing with what had just happened. What Camille had said. _Who_ even was Camille to Magnus? Alec was broken out of his thoughts when he felt Magnus’ hands on either side of his face, tilting Alec’s head up, his cool rings and soft, lithe fingers soothing his most-likley-red cheeks. Alec’s eyes were still closed when he heard Magnus request for him to open them. Taking a deep breath he did just that. Alec felt his breath catch at the lack of distance. He loved being close enough to see the dashes of green in Magnus’ eyes, it made his heart sing. Ok Alec thought,taking a breath He could do this. Before too much time passed or before Alec could talk himself out of it, he climbed onto Magnus’ lap, staring into those eyes before capturing his lips in a kiss. Alec was nervous as hell and he felt the queasiness in his stomach but, if Magnus wanted this, the least he could do is push away all of his stupid insecurities and feelings about sex away. He just needed to stop being so sensitive about this. Alec let his shaky hands slide down to Magnus’ belt and started unbuckling it.

  _He_ could do this. He _could_ do this. He could do _thi_ -

 Alec was broken out of his mental pep talk when he felt Magnus’ hands come up to cup his face and then they weren’t kissing anymore. Why did Magnus stop? Was he that bad at this? Looking down at Magnus’ he saw the obvious confused expression on his face and Alec stomach twisted in knots. By the angel he fucked up. Was this not what you do? Was he not doing it right?

 

“Woah Alexander what are you doing?” Magnus said, giving him a confused look, “Not that I’m complaining but...?”

 

 Alec searched Mangus eyes, “I-I thought that’s what you wanted..” Alec said. Was this not what he wanted? But.. what Camille had said, he was sure Magnus.. By the angle he was stupid. Why would Magnus actually want to be with Alec in that way. He was too pale, his hair was untamable and on top of all of that...he was damaged.

 Magnus would easily get bored of him, he couldn’t even give Magnus sex properly. Something people did all the time casually. People like Magnus. By the angel he was stupid.

 “Oh. It’s fine I get it, I mean who would want unattractive damaged goods like me” Alec said with a scoff. Trying to avoid any further embarrassment, Alec scrambled off Magnus lap, headed to the door, where their shoes lay. He was almost there when he felt a hand on his shoulder stop him, and then Magnus was in his view again. His facial expression looked... raw, it caught Alec off gaurd.

But what caught Alec even more off guard was what Magnus said next. Your not damaged goods. Alec felt his heart skip a beat, because that’s all he ever really thought he was. With anyone else, Alec would’ve brushed it off as a friendly lie but with Magnus.. he seemed so.. earnest about what he was saying and he hadn’t lied to Alec yet. Alec let Magnus tilt his head up until he was staring into those gallant gold eyes, the specks of green standing out in beautiful contrast against the more prominent golden brown. By the angel he could get lost in those eyes.

 “Why did you think I wanted that from you? Especially if you weren’t ready?” Magnus asked, looking at Alec with a soft concerned gaze that made his stomach do flips. Alec dropped his head, trying to hide his embarrassed blush as he remembered what he was just about make himself do.

 “Well after what Camille said- and then you brought me here.. I just assumed that you that I’d-“ Alec stuttered out before giving up and shaking his head. Now that he said it out loud it sounded stupid, especially the fact that he assumed. He felt even worse when Magnus started to apologize, when it was Alec’s fault. Alec watched as Magnus tucked a piece of loose hair behind his ear. 

 

 “I..well, after we broke up, I hate to admit it but I was a bit broken. I felt a void in my chest and I filled it with sex and parties and booze. It was a one night stand every night, men and women. And I guess... that’s what Camille was making a reference to. Since you’re the first person I’ve actually wanted something more than sex with, I guess she felt the need to, be little you. Which is not ok at all” Magnus finished leaving Alec to stare at his black socks, mind racing. He knew Magnus was more experienced than him but.. after what Magnus just said..it sounds like way more experienced.

 

 Alec felt Magnus’ stare on his face but, he couldn’t bring himself to look back. When the time came for them to..to..take the sex step, how could Alec ever please Magnus? “Angel, tell me. What’s on your mind?” Magnus said, breaking Alec from his thoughts. There was this one question Alec knew he,probably shouldn’t ask but, it was going to bother him if he didn’t. So, gathering up as much strength as he could, and bracing himself for the answer, Alec asked the question.

 

 

 

 

“How many?”

 

 

 

 

  Magnus was frozen for a split second before he managed to clear his throat a squeeze out the sentence, “H-How many?” Magnus said looking at Alec. Fuck, he was stuttering, which was completely out of character for him. Alec must’ve thought the same thing because he stepped back a bit, regarding Magnus with a squinted eye.

 

 

 

 

“Yeah. How many. It’s not a trick question. You could..write them down if you want”  Alec said sounding slightly impatient. Magnus started playing witb the rings on one of his hands, trying to think of how to go about this. He wasn’t ashamed of his..past sexual conquests, but, he didn’t want Alec to look at him any differently, the way people _always_ did. 

 

 

 

 

Magnus took a deep breath, trying to play it cool, “well..if you want to know then I’ll tell you” Magnus said, looking down at his bisexual flag colored socks, “uh, five” Magnus said feeling Alec’s intense gaze on him. Well, 5 wasn’t a lie really.

 

 

 

 

Alec stepped closer grabbing Magnus’ hands, “5? Wow that’s not to bad-“ he heard Alec cut himself off and looked up. Alec was regarding him carefully.

 

 

 

 

“Wait..5..15” Alec said, causing Magnus to look of to the side.

 

 

 

 

“50??” Alec said with a bewildered look.

 

 

 

 

“It was all in the past” Magnus cut in quickly with a nervous smile before letting out a breath and making his way over to his wine cart. He picked up his favorite and poured himself a cup before turning back to Alec, who he saw was looking at him with wide eyes.

 

 

 

 

Magnus sighed, “Right now I'm here with _you_ "

 

 

 

 

Alec's expression became somber and almost... exasperated, "Yeah, me, and...50 other memories" Alec said with a sarcastic tint.

 

 

 

 

Magnus inwardly groaned, _this_ is what he wanted to avoid. He downed his drink and made his way back over to Alec, "Look, i am who i am,and you are who you are, and... all the magic in the world can't change that so..lets just, try to make the best of it" Magnus said, hoping Alec wouldn't hold this against him.

 

 

 

 

After what seemed like a lifetime Alec glanced up into Magnus' eyes and Magnus felt his stomach drop. Alec looked so... guarded, facial expression neutral and unreadable.

 

 

 

 

"Sure" Alec said flatly in a barley audible voice. Magnus felt his brows furrow in concern. How could he fix this?

 

 

 

 

Alec cleared his throat and looked past Magnus, presumably at the clock, "Look I'm-I should.. go" Alec said almost distractedly. Heading for the door again.

 

 

 

 

Magnus looked on, frozen in place. No,no,no,no this wasn't how it was supposed to go. Was Alec really going to leave because of Magnus' past? Did that one little thing turn him away from Magnus? Was he really not worth enough to at least stay and..try? Magnus felt like he was glued in place when all he wanted to do was stop Alec from going, but, who was Magnus to stop Alec again, if he wanted to leave..Magnus should let him leave

right?

Magnus was jolted back to reality at the sound of his door closing. Blinking a couple times he looked at the space Alec was just a second ago. He... really left. Now Magnus was all alone. 

Magnus sunk down to the floor where he stood and brought his knees to his chest. Maybe Camille and his father were right, his own Mother couldn't love him, how could anyone else? Sighing Magnus ran a hand through his hair, causing the messy bun to come undone, the hair band falling on the floor. He hadn't had these types of thoughts in _years_ Magnus thought to himself, shaking his head as if that could rid the thoughts and insecurities that were coming out. Magnus knew what he had to do. Climbing back onto his feet Magnus stopped at his drink cabinet and grabbing a bottle of glenmorangie pride 1981 before collecting his phone and going to his room. Stripping out of his dance clothes Magnus put on his favorite silk pajama pants and robe. Walking over to his vanity he removed the small amount of makeup he had before climbing into his bed and dialing Catarinas number.

Magnus took a swig of his whiskey as he listened to the phone ring once...twice..and than came Catarina's sweet voice.

"Hey whats up Mags"

 

 

 

     

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Relationships aren't easy, it takes effort. I hope you enjoyed, see y'all Monday


	16. Mi familia

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Monday so new upload. Less angst and more character development and peek into Magnus' relationship with other people in his life.

     Magnus cracked his eyes open for a split second before promptly closing them again, groaning at the sunlight coming through his window. He cursed inwardly at himself for forgetting to close his drapes while he brought a hand up to rub his eyes, before moving it to his forehead. 

     Ugh, his head was pounding. It was most likely from the excessive drinking he’d done last night. Magnus was contemplating whether or not he could will himself to move when he felt a body move next to him and his whole body tensed up, eyes snapping open despite his body’s protest to the fast action. Who could be next to him? He..didn’t remember going out...

  Suppressing a pained groan that tried to escape, Magnus turned his head to his left just enough to see who was next to him. He let out a sigh of relief, immediately feeling his body relax. It was only Ragnor. In fact, he was sandwiched between both Cat and Ragnor, with Raphael lying at the bottom of the bed. He couldn't help the smile that made it's way onto his face due to the love and support he felt from his friends. He remembered as soon as Cat heard his voice on call yesterday she was immediately on her way over, ragnor, raph,and copious amounts of Ben and Jerry's in tow. They had talked all night about everything and nothing. It took Magnus two hours to tell Cat, Raph and Ragnor what happened with Alec, but they never rushed him. Due to all of them having known Magnus for what _seemed_ like centuries, they knew he wasn't one who liked to share how he felt and often covered his feelings with humour confidence, coyness, and his personal favorite,flirtation. Once he did tell them though, it was in a quiet voice, all of his usual flamboyant manner gone, just a boy who needed his friends. After some words of wisdom from Cat, a blunt comment or two from Raph and a mantra from Ragnor, Magnus sent Alec a text asking if he could meet Magnus at his apartment today around 12pm. Since it was Tuesday, Alec wouldn't be coming to the studio and Magnus couldn't wait till Friday to know how Alec was feeling, if...he still _wanted_ to be with Magnus or not. The thought alone made Magnus' stomach to twist in knots but...if it was what Alec wanted-

 

"You're thinking too loud old friend" Ragnor's voice sounded, breaking Magnus out of his thoughts, causing Magnus to turn his head once more in his direction, being met with a lightly joking but mostky concerned look from Ragnor.

 

With a roll of his eyes Magnus lightly shoved Ragnor's shoulder, "At least i _think_ , _your_ just entirely too loud period. Ugh what time is even?" Magnus asked trying to lighten the mood and change subjects. Stretching with his arms above his head in a cat like manner, Magnus let out a yawn.

 

Ragnor quickly glanced at the wall clock  "It's 9:53am" he said with a dismissive wave before looking at Magnus with mock hurt expression, " Thats besides the point, Too loud? Me? Thats bollocks and you know it old friend, I mean honestly, have you _seen_ your wardrobe? If-"

 

Ragnor was cut off when one of magnus' favorite plushy pillows came sailing by his head, followed by a " _Ay dios mios_ _mi amor,_ it is too early in the morning for you and my brother to be bickering" sounded Raphael in his usual blunt manner.

 

"I second that" came Cat's half awake sounding, voice causing Magnus to look over at her, musing in adoration at her blue hair that was neatly in two loose, childlike braids. Magnus couldn't help but reach up and ruffle her hair, receiving a light smack on his offending hand, from Cat.

 

  Chuckling, Magnus now adressed the whole room, "Now that it seems were all up, who's up for some mean belgian waffles?" Magnus felt his heart burst with happiness, smile stretching even wider, when he received a chorus of sleepy but enthusiastic voices saying 'me'.

 

These weren't just his _friends_ , _This_ _was_ _his_ _family_.

 

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed! Any feedback and comments are appreciated. See y'all Friday.


	17. Pad thai

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Magnus' POV. Sorry for the day late uplaod, I've been quite busy as of late. Nevertheless i hope y'all enjoy!

“This is maybe a bad idea. It’s a bad idea right? It’s definitely a bad idea. I should just-“

 

“Magnus!” Catarina said rubbing her temples, “Calm down. You'll burn a hole in the rug with all that pacing" Catarina said not unkindly.

 

Magnus stopped his pacing with a sigh, plopping into his favorite arm chair.

 

“I’m sorry Cat” Magnus said, running a hand through his hair, that was currently product free, “I feel like on the precipiece of my sanity right now. I don’t know why I _care_ so much” He said,unable to keep his tone from sounding impotent.

 

Magnus sighed when he saw his friends exchanged a look. They were all currently scattered about Magnus’ sitting area on his balcony. After breakfast, they had a binge watch session of Project Runway and AMNTM at Magnus’ request and to Raphael’s dismay. Magnus and Ragnor excitedly chatted about how tim gunn would always be the star of the show and how fierce Tyra was. After 10:30 rolled around, Raphael had to leave to stop at his house, get dressed and get to work so Magnus, Cat and Ragnor decided to order pad Thai as an early lunch and eat it on Magnus’ balcony, due to the beautiful May weather they were having. It was all blue skies,the sun was out, and a nice light breeze in perfect contrast with the sun. Having just finished their food, they were lounging and sun bathing, all of them still in their pajamas. Ragnor with his normally neatly combed and geled down hair, now loose and sticking every which way and his normally impeccable suit or classy outfit switched out for a duck onsie. Cat with her blue hair in simple, messy braids, her normal bold lip and impeccable winged eyeliner absent from her face, leaving her natural beauty. And Magnus, wearing his black framed glasses instead of his usual contacts, his product free silky black hair, hanging loose around his face, one side tucked behind is ear, his usual flashy and expensive clothes no where in site, with no make up or even a drop of glitter. With anyone else, Magnus would be extremely embarrassed to be seen like this, he would never let anyone see him without at least a a bit of concealer, a flick of eye liner and his signature style hair but, his friends, they were the only ones he felt comfortable with being like this. His confidence, clothes,makeup and hair were his armor. The _only_ other person he'd ever let see him like this was... Alexander.     

 

Alexander.

 

A couple weeks ago, that name wouldn't have meant nothing to him, but now it meant _ever_ _ything._ _Simply_ because it belonged to the one person who Magnus, felt like he belonged with. Cat and Ragnor were waiting with Magnus until Alec showed up. Magnus had gotten a text from Alec that he'd come around 12 when he didn't have any classes, and Magnus hadn’t been able to concentrate on anything but Alec since then. His mind was teunning ramped. Would Alec be mad still? Would he not want Magnus anymore? If Alec broke up with him...

 

Magnus tensed up at the thought.

 

“Well,” Ragnor said, his voice getting Magnus’ attention, “Your in love old friend. I know you are. I wasn't sure before but, seeing the way you looked at Alec the other day during lunch, I haven't a doubt in my mind. And, I remember telling you, when that love comes back to you, you must do everything in your power to fight for it, and that’s exactly what your doing old friend”

 

Magnus met Ragnor’s eyes. Normally,he would wave off Ragnor’s advice and lecture about love, especially with any speculation he’d fallen for Alec, but... today, Magnus, oddly enough, didn’t feel the need. So he, slowly...nodded, “I suppose your right” he said with a sort of resolve, surprising himself. Magnus looked between his friends and took in their shocked looks.

 

“Magnus..” Cat started, with a soft expression, “Do you really mean that? You really think you..love? Alexander” Cat said coming to sit next to Magnus

 

Magnus turned to Cat and nodded, surprised even at himself for the new revelation, “I think I am..” Magnus said, his voice a whisper.

 

Magnus watched as Catarina’s eyes filled with tears before she was holding him in a tight embrace.

 

“Oh Magnus, I’m so happy for you. You of all people _deserve_ to be in love, and to be loved. And I really think Alec is the one  i like Alec, I think you should fight for what you have with him. I've honestly never seen you more happy, then you have been these past couple weeks. And i realize now that it's because of him ” She said, her voice thick with emotion.

 

Magnus closed his eyes, a lump forming in his throat, as he accepted Cat's hug.

 

"I've never _felt_ this happy. And to know that it's all because of him....Cat, I'm scared" Magnus said quietly into her shoulder.

 

"I know you are" She said, pulling away so she could look Magnus in the eyes, " and it's going to be scary because this is new for you. But i want you to stay and do your best, ok?"

 

"Ok" Magnus said with a small smile.

 

"Good, now, what time is it Ragnor?" Cat asked.

 

Rolling his eyes Ragnor turned to look at the clock inside, "10:57. What am i the time keeper now?" Ragnor said in a teasing tone.

 

"Oh shush cabbage, you were the closest to the door" Magnus said

 

"Be nice boys" Catarina said, her voice taking on her usual motherly tone, "Anyway, i think we should get you dressed in something other than pj's so your ready when it comes time to talk with Alec" she said, standing up and offering a hand to help Magnus up also.

 

"I second that" came Ragnors voice.

 

Magnus chuckled and allowed Cat to drag him back into his house, heading straight for his huge closet in his room.

 

After helping Magnus decide on a outfit, Cat and Ragnor headed out. Magnus went and took a shower, washing up with his sandalwood bady wash and scrub before washing his hair using his favorite sandalwood shampoo and conditioner. After he got out of the shower he wrapped his hair in a towel then he lotioned up with his sandalwood and jasmine scented body cream. After putting on briefs he sat down at his vanity and did his makeup, not too heavy but not too light. Moving to his hair he unwrapped the towel and rubbed his hair so it was only damp, grabbing his favorite styling gel he lightly coated his hands and ran it through his hair, lightly covering it in the gel, then he took his brush and gathered his hair up into a neat bun. After he was finsihed with his hair he slipped into the outfit his friends had helped him pick and then walked into his kitchen, deciding to watch a bit more tv as he waited for Alec. It was 11:54 so he would be there any minute. Thirty minutes into his second episode of RuPauls drag race he heard a knock on his door. Pausing the show Magnus scrambled to the door, stopping for a second before opening it to take a deep breath. He could do this. Opening the door he was greeted with one Alec lightwood. He was dressed in grey joggers and a black shirt, a grey beanie on his head, his curls only peaking out of the front, scatering across his forehead. Wow, this boy would never fail to take his breath away.

"Magnus" Alec said, looking nervous as he shifted his weight from one foot to the other.

Clearing his throat Magnus opened his door wider, "Alexander. Come in"

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> New upload hope y'all enjoy, I tried to write a longer chapter because they've been quite short recently. Any and every feedback is appreciated. See y'all Monday


	18. Here's looking at you kid

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **TRIGGER WARNING**
> 
> Alec's pov

 

 

     Alec got home and immediately crashed to his bed, He couldn’t do this. Not today. He'd been at Takis until it closed, just sitting there. He hadn't wanted to go home yet, after he left Magnus'. Part of him wanted to go back and apologize about the whole thing. But in the end he didn't. Glancing over at the clock he saw it was 2:23am, only a couple hours or so before his first class, at 7. But he...he couldn’t will himself to sleep. But at the same time he was so _tired._ It wasn't a lazy feeling, in the sense that he was just too lazy to get up and go to school, it was more of a, what's the point? A sort of bone deep sadness and emptiness that...he couldn't shake. Even in his state somewhere in the back of his mind he knew he should call someone. Picking up his phone that was resting next to him, Alec connected it to the charger and turned it on, being immediately met with a notification from Magnus.

 

 

 

Magnus  10:52 pm: _**do**_ ** _you_** ** _think you_** _ **could**_ ** _come over_** ** _tomorrow? I want to talk_**

 

 

 

Alec read the message over a few more times, and still turning up with the same thoughts. Talk. Talk? _Talk._ There was such ambiguity in that word, that one word could mean so many things. What did he want to talk about? Probably about yesterday. No, _definitely_ about yesterday. By the angel, maybe how Alec basically shoved himself onto Magnus like a mad man before leaving after Magnus gave him an answer to a question _he_ asked. If Magnus broke up with him right then, Alec wouldn't blame him, _maybe_ it was a sort of fatalism. Was it happening because they rushed into this? That this happened so fast? Alec was so messed up. By the angel he was honestly so stupid. Sighing and clicking onto his contacts, Alec scrolled until he saw Izzy’s name and clicked. After a few rings he heard his sisters familiar voice come onto the line.

 

 

 

"Hey big bro, what's up?"

 

 

 

Even though the task of talking felt like the hardest task ever right now, Alec opened his mouth and forced the three words out, his voice scratchy and rough from sleep but also, barley above a whisper, "iz?...i need you" Alec inwardly cringed at how weak he sounded to his own ears. Before he could ponder much longer, Izzy quick reply came, her voice immediately taking a solicitous tone.

 

 

 

"I'll be there in 10" Izzy said before promptly hanging up.

 

 

 

Alec let his phone drop from his ear back to the bed and turned onto his back, staring up at his cream ceiling. What was he doing? Honestly somewhere in the back of his mind he knew he should've been getting up and getting ready for his classes, especially since it was a ballet day but, that part of his mind didn't seem to be present at the moment. Alec just layed there and... _felt_. He was feeling everything and yet nothing. On the 'everything' spectrum,he felt the emptiness, the-the _worthlessness,_ the blanket of melancholy that was covering Alec, that was...stuck on him like a second skin. On the 'nothing' spectrum...Alec felt like he was just floating like he was almost numb, like things were reaching him but...not quite? Like he was underwater. He could perceive everything but it was murky.

 

 

 

   Alec was broken out of his thoughts when he heard the sound of his front door opening and then two sets of footsteps. He knew one was Izzy's but, guessing by the familiar clunk sound of combat boots, he was going to take a wild guess and say... Jace?

 

 

 

Oh by the angel Jace was here. Why would Izzy call him. When Alec was like this. Before Alec could ponder on it any longer, he heard his bedroom door open and he knew his siblings were in his room. Alec, was still staring up at the ceiling. He didn't have nearly enough energy to sit up or to talk. It was quiet for a while before he heard the sound of whispers, it wasn't hard to hear what they were saying, mostly because Alec had excellent hearing and his siblings simply couldn't whisper well.

 

 

 

"By the angel...do you think this is like.. before?" Came Izzy's apprehensive voice.

 

 

 

"I dont know Iz...I-" came Jace's voice, not finishing the sentence but instead coming to Alec's bedside. Ah Jace, he never was one for talking before action, his parabat-

 

 

 

"Hey, Alec?"  _Yes?_ At Jace's voice Alec blinked but, stayed in much of the same position, not answering out loud, only in his head simply because talking didn't seem to be an option to his body at the moment. Izzy's slow footsteps came next.

 

 

 

"Hey big bro" Izzy said

 

 

 

_Hey iz._

 

 

 

He felt Izzy's touch on his shoulder and he flicked his eyes over to her. He felt immediately guilty when he saw her worried face come into his view. Izzy usually didn't have classes until at least 10, unlike him, so she usually went to sleep later, like 12 so he'd probably woken her up after she'd been sleeping for only a few hours. Alec thought his guess was pretty accurate considering the fact that Izzy was make up free with her tortoise shell glasses firmly in place and her silky brunette hair in a messy ponytail atop her head. Not to mention her coat thrown over her bunny onsie.

 

 

 

"Hey big bro,did you hear me?" Izzy said, a furrow forming in between her perfectly shaped eyebrows. Alec sighed closing his eyes before lightly shaking his head. Well....it was more of a jolting twitch but, same thing.

 

 

 

"Oh Alec," Izzy said, before climbing into his bed and bringing his head into her lap, lightly stroking his hair, playing with the curls. Alec closed his eyes, getting lost in the comforting feeling. This was something Izzy would always do when Alec was feeling down, ever since they were kids. When the pressure of their parents would get to Alec. When Alec opened his eyes again, he was met by the gaze of his brother, his parabatai. Well, that what they'd always call each other, because even though Jace was adopted, they'd always felt closer then brothers, like they had a soul bond. They'd always been close...up until the, _incident_ with Sebastian. After that Alec pushed everyone away, Jace especially. Soley _because_ of the fact that Jace would know in an _instant._ Jace knew him better than anyone, and Alec couldn't have Jace finding out and looking at Alec differently. Jace... took it hard though, he got mad at Alec and he was hurt. Which ultimately hurt Alec, seeing his brother hurting _beca_ _use_ of him. After Alec was in a sorta-kinda-better place, he never reached back out to Jace, mostly bevause he was scared. But, seeing Jace here now, ready to be by his side whe  he was hurting, it broke something in Alec. He felt the first tear run down the bridge of his nose, before there was another and another. Through his tear blurred vision he saw Jace come closer, sitting on his bed and putting a hand on Alec's shoulder. That was the thing with them, they never needed words, but a simple gesture meant the world.

 

 

 

After a while Alec's silent tears had stopped and Izzy suddenly suggested a movie. So that's what they did, Izzy fetched Alecs laptop and they sat there watching Alec's favorite movies, Casablanca, the godfather, the princess bride, Forrest gump, the whole time Jace and Izzy would have a conversation about the film, asking Alec his opinion as if everything were normal even though he'd never answer out loud. The movie thing was another ritual the siblings used to do when any of them were feelig down or were sick, if Izzy broke up with her boyfriend that day, the siblings would get out her favorite movies and sit there under their favorite quilt with hot chocolate and watch them with her. Jace complaining about how sappy the princess bride was and Izzy firing back how it was a romantic classic, made Alec's heart warm. Somewhere around the middle of their third moive, Casablanca, Alec started to feel more like himself, as if he was floating in the depths of the ocean and was just now floating to the surface, so when Jace started saying one of Alec's favorite lines along with Rick Alec found himself silently mouthing along, " _I'm no good at being noble, but it doesn't take much to see that the problems of three little people don't amount to a hill of beans in this crazy world. Someday you'll understand that_ " Jace must've noticed Alec's slight movement because at once he felt Jace's gaze on him. Alec met his eyes, golden, but a plain golden brown, no green specks, no special twinkle that Magnus akways had. Jace was giving him a appraising look, before he squinted his left eyes only slightly before he said.

 

 

 

"Now, now..." Jace's eyes looked at Alec almost expectantly, and it was as if simething clicked back into place in Alec's body and he didn't disappoint

 

 

 

"Here's looking at you kid" came Alec's response, his voice was raspy from lack of use, but still finishing the end of the quote. After Alec's words his siblings seemed to visibly relax. He participated more actively in the conversation during the godfather until one by one the siblings drifted be off to sleep.

 

 

 

Waking up, Alec blinked once, twice, before a smile made it's way onto his face. No nightmares. Looking past Izzy Alec glanced at the clock, 8:27am it read. Alec had already missed his morning class so he was free for the rest of the day it seemed. Climbing stealthily over Izzy, Alec exited his bed and room, and made his way to the kitchen, deciding to cook up something for his siblings. Halfway through making his blueberry pancakes he saw Jace emerge from his room, looking groggy as he settled onto one of Alec's stools by his counter.

 

 

 

"Pancakes in the morning? Wow i must be special" Jace said with his usual saracstic tone and his usual smirk in place.

 

 

 

Alec rolled his eyes but still smiled, "Don't get too excited" he said, his voice quiet. As Alec finished up making the pancakes and eggs, he set a couple pancakes aside for Izzy before serving he and jace. When he sat down to eat and finally looked at Jace again, he was taken aback when he saw Jace's perturbed expression.

 

 

 

"Alec..." Jace started with a sigh. Alec put his fork down, feeling immediately on edge. Jace was never this serious.

 

 

 

"Look. What happened yesterday Alec? And what happened a couple years ago? And _dont you dare_ brush it off and say nothing because i know it was something. I've _never_ seen you push me away like that. The way you judt shut down... I.." Jace trailed off, his eyes trained on Alec's. By the angel this is exactly what Alec was afraid of. He couldn't lie to Jace, not efficiently anyway. Alec was staring down at his plate full of food, suddenly not hungry anymore.

All he could hear was the sound of his heart beating as he took one deep breath after the other. Did he want to tell Jace? He'd told Magnus and that had went well but, this was his family, he didn't and couldn't lose them. Especially Jace.

 

 

 

"Alec you know you can tell me anything" Jace said when Alec didn't answer.

 

 

 

Sighing, Alec thought, this was Jace, his brother, his parabatai, he should at least try. So, taking a few more deep breaths and swallowing his nerves, Alec decided to test the waters, "You're right. It wasn't nothing back then, all those years ago." Alec gauged Jace's reaction, which seemed to be surprise for the most part. Probably surprised that Alec admitted it.

 

 

 

"Ok... so what happened?" Jace said slowly

 

 

 

Alec stood up and walked to the window over his kitchen sink, _well_ _there's no going back now_ "Do you remember..um, Sebastian?" Alec said staring out the window, watching the hustle and vustle of rush hour in new york.

 

 

 

"Yeah. I never liked that asshole. Why do you ask?" Came Jace's voice from behind.

 

 

 

Alec took a few more deep breaths, taking some time to figure out how he was going to say this. Did he just say, _he was physically and verbally abusive and oh yeah he also raped me._ Rape. That word Alec couldn't even bring himself to say out loud. Alec was starting to regret his decision.

 

 

 

"Alec, what did that bastard do?" Came Jace's voice again, shaking Alec out of his stupor.

 

 

 

"Oh..um-well he would...um-" Alec stopped, taking a breath so he could get out a understandable sentence, "Just, don't say anything for a little bit, i need to get this out...ok?" Alec said to Jace, his voice low and back still turned.

 

 

 

"Ok" said Jace.

 

 

 

With his brothers word he started, the words spilling out like a stream, "A few months into our relationship is when it happened...Sebastian he...was really jealous, and i knew that but i just didn't realize how utterly _possessive_ he was. He'd seen me with Raj and lost it. As soon as we got home he slapped me and pushed me hard against the wall, he started screaming at me, all these... hurtful things. I was scared Jace...by the angel was i scared. I'd never seen that side of him" Alec paused to swallow down the lump that was forming in his throat. Clearing his throat Alec started again, "After that it was a regular thing, only it got worse each time, and after a while the abuse, both verbal and physical was _so bad_ that i knew I'd die if i didn't get out of that relationship, whether by my own hand or by his." At this Alec heard Jace suck in a breath, but he continued on, "The thing that really pushed me to leave was when i found  out he had...cheated on me. The whole time I was with him a small part of me thought I deserved what I was getting, that he was ultimately doing all of it because he loved me but..you don't cheat on someone you love. So i decided to pack my bags when he was at work one day and get out but...he ended up coming home early and- um he was _furious_ when he figured out what I was doing" Alec said, he hated how his voice sounded so meek and vulnerable, even to him, "He uh, hit me _hard_ and dragged me to our room, threw me on the bed and held me down as he uh-" Alec's voice gave out as silent sob wracked his body. He felt a hand on his shoulder, turning him around and bringing into a hug.

 

 

 

"Oh Alec" Jace said holding him in a tight embrace.

 

 

 

"He hurt me so much Jace. He broke me" Alec said into Jace's shoulder in between sobs.

 

 

 

"Why didn't you tell me? Alec i _hate_ myself for not noticing your suffering" Jace said, tears of his own running down his face. Tears from Jace? Alec knew better than anyone that Jace wasn't much of a person who cried, especially in front of someone else. 

 

 

 

"No. It's not your fault at all, I kept it a secret because, after it happened, i couldn't bare the thought of any you guys knowing how weak i am...looking at me differently, i could barely look myself in the mirror." Alec said, wiping his tears as his crying calmed.

 

 

 

Jace looked at Alec in disbelief, "By the angel Alec no! That doesn't make you weak, you couldn't control what that _monster_ did to you. I could never think of you as weak, you're one of the strongest people i know.

 

 

 

Just like when Alec had told Magnus, he felt like he was another 100 pounds lighter, "Thanks Jace thateans the world" Alec said, giving his brother a genuine smile, "oh and if you wouldn't mind not telling Izzy, I'd like her to hear it from me." Alec said, recivin a nod from Jace.

 

 

 

"Thanks"

 

 

 

    ______________________________________

 

 

 

    It was currently 10:56am and Alec was in his living room, phone in hand after just sending a text to Magnus that he wanted to meet up with him. Izzy and Jace had left an hour earlier after thoroughly asking and checking if Alec was ok, once he reasured both of them, he hugged them goodbye and they were on their way, both going home to get ready for their day, Izzy going to a class right about now and Jace somewhere at the station. Alec was feeling pretty good, especially after the talk with Jace earlier. It was a really invigorating feeling knowing that one more person he cared about didn't view him as weak or incompetent, but, he was still completely embarrassed about how he acted the other day with Magnhs. He felt if anything he should go to apologize, hence the text that he would come by later. Dropping his phone onto the table he prepared a outfit and hopped into the shower. By the time he was finished showering and getting dressed it was 11:25 so he thought he'd start walking to Magnus', his gps said it was only a block or two so worst case scenario he would be there a bit early. Once Alec was approaching Magnus' building it was about the time he'd planned to be there, around 12, which was great. Alec climbed into the elevator and made his way up to Magnus' floor. Once outside his door Alrc took a deep breath and knock. He heard sounds of footsteps before the door opened, revealing one Magnus Bane. By the angel he was beautiful. There was a silence between them before Magnus opened the door wider.

 

 

 

"Alexander. Come in" was all he said. Alec took a deep breath and made his way inside. Once he was in he turned around back to Magnus, watching as Magnus closed the door before turning the face Alec. Alec just stared, not knowing what to say or do, and Magnus stared back. After a few moments, Alec broke their gaze and settled his on his boots. Soon the silence became to great for Alec and he burst out in words.

 

 

 

"Hey Magnus I am so sorry for yesterday. I shouldn't of pushed myself onto you like that and I shouldn't have left the way I did. If I'm being truthful, knowing you had that many people that you've been with and how experienced you were just... intimidated me. It made me wonder if i could ever satisfy you-"

 

 

 

"Alexa-" Magnus began

 

 

 

Alec shook his head, waving Magnus off, while rushing to say "And _I know_ it's probably stupid, but my thoughts tend to get the best of me at times and i can't i can't help my thoughts and feelings. Once my mind has an idea about something im impotent to changing it. But Magnus... all I _know_ is that I really do like you. A lot. That my heart jumps and my stomach gets butterflies anytime i _see_ you. How you never look at with disdain or indifference even though you've seen all my reprehensible parts. Magnus I...i want to be with you. By the _angel_ i want to be with you. More than anything else. But I would completely understand if you didn't wan- " Alec was cut off when suddenly he felt arms around him and the comforting smell of sandalwood,jasmine, and something else that was entirley Magnus, fill his nose. Alec sighed contently and all but melted into Magnus' arms.

 

 

 

"You stupid nephilim. Of course i want you" Magnus said, planting a kiss on Alec's nose.

 

 

 

Alec couldn't help the smile that made it's way onto his face, "Nephilim? Really Magnus?"

 

 

 

Magnus brought his hand up to Alec's cheek, rubbing it lovingly, "Yes, nephilim. I know an angel when I see one"

 

 

 

Alec looked at Magnus for any sign that he was joking but found none.

Angel? Huh...

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so so sorry for another late upload but i didn't want to rush this chapter and i had a certain way i wanted this to go. I hooe y'all enjoyed, an emotional chapter but Alec is moving closer and closer to full recovery. As always feedback is appreciated. See y'all Friday


	19. Smize

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pov of Magnus then Alec. Soft boyfriends

 

 

 

                          Alexander. 

 

 

 

 

   That was the thing Magnus had the pleasure to wake up to. And Magnus couldn't be happier. He was currently staring down at a sleeping Alexander, the sun barley out, and he was entranced. After a lengthy talk the day before about their relationship, what they each wanted from it, how they could work in more communication and what they each were feeling about it, Alec admited that he didn't want to have to go back home to his apartment , so Magnus brought Alec some comfortable sleeping/lounge clothes- a white t shirt and plain cotton pajama pants that had cartoon cows on them- before suggesting, a session of show watching. After Alec had excitedly agreed, Magnus had told him that before he could do a proper binge session he had to take his makeup off, do his skin care routine and wash all the product out his hair so he wouldn't have to worry about being too tired to do it later. Alec had a exuberantly quizzical look on his face when Magnus mentioned skin routine.

 

 

 

 

"Skin routine?" Alec had said in a puzzled voice.

 

 

 

 

  Magnus had simply answered with a "Yes, my dear, skin routine. You simply don't get skin like this by neglecting it" Magnus said with flourish, tapping his cheek for emphasis, which earned him a groan from Alec, " _by the_ _angel_ your _just_ like my sister Izzy. I can tell you two would be fast friends" Alec muttered with a shake of his head. Magnus couldn't help but smile at Alec’s comment, thinking-  _would magnus get the chance to meet_ _Izzy some day?_

 

 

 

 

Magnus emerged from his bathroom a little while later with a clean face, comfy clothes and freshly washed towel dried hair. Magnus couldn't help the smile that came onto his face when he saw Alec, on the couch with chairman meow securely tucked into his lap as he pet him, he was wearing the clothes Magnus had given him. The clothes were a bit big due to Alec and Magnus' difference in size, but to Magnus it only made Alec look adorable. "Wow look at you" Magnus had said, making his presence known. Alec had looked up and smiled, "look at _you._ Magnus your beautiful" he said causing Magnus' heart to skip a beat. The fact that he didn't have any of his makeup on or fancy clothes and Alec still said something like that made him beyond happy. Magnus smiled and settled on the couch, putting a hand around Alec, "your quite the flatterer Alexander. I see the clothes fit. More or less" Magnus commented, pulling at the t-shirt fabric. Alec looked down in a abashed manner "yeah, a bit big but not too much. Yknow...i haven't worn a t shirt in front of another person in forever. At least not without a sweater" he said, motioning to his arms. Magnus had immediate understanding to what Alec was talking about and grabbed Alec's scarred forearm, bringing it to his lips and placing tiny kisses all over the exspanse of it. The pale white skin littered with pale raised scars. When he had finished he looked up to Alec's face and was met with a wide eyed look, "you can be comfortable around me, wear whatever you want, those scars are part of you and I want all of you" he had said. Alec had brought Magnus into a tight hug before letting him go and nodding. Magnus then went to get the remote and introduce Alec to what binge worthy show they'd be watching. Of course that meant America's Next Top Model, seasons 18-24 because even though Magnus had all the seasons, whether on tape or demand, he was much fonder of season 18 and on. At first Alec was skeptic and obviously more than a bit confused commenting "why did she need a makeover? She looked completly fine before" and "they all look like they were doing the same thing? Why did she get eliminated?" But by the end of season 19 he was raving about how one person didn't smize and how a makeover "totally advanced" another girls look. They had settled down on Magnus' couch and watched the show until they both drifted off, Alec in Magnus' arms. Waking up, Magnus wasn't even perturbed about the stiffness in his neck from sleeping on his couch at such a weird angle. He was just happy to be wrapped in Alec's sweet scent and warmth. Not to mention he was in love with the way Alec looked, so peaceful and at ease, made everthing worth while. Magnus absolutely adored how Alec's curls fell over his forehead, just touching under his eyebrows, giving him a boyish look. His perfectly pink lips were slightly parted as silent breaths went in and out, it made him look younger than he was without his usual either worried look or his carefully practiced stoic expression. As Magnus was laying there, carefully studying every one of Alec's delicate features, the realization hit him like a truck. He _was_ in love with Alec. Before, with Ragnor and Cat he had admitted it but even then he just thought he _might be,_ but now? Now he _knew._ Magnus couldn't help but feel overwhelmed by the notion. _Love._ Every moment Magnus spent with Alec, he had been unknowingly giving away his heart piece by piece. Now it was out of his control. Alec had the means to break him, something no one else had ever been able to do. Yeah, Camille had come close but a part of him always knew she didn't give a damn about him and he'd gotten out in time, but Alec? He was so much more...so _different_ and in the best way possible. Magnus knew, that even for him, this was extremely soon to be falling for someone but, there was no doubt about it and there was no way you could ask him to fall _out_ of love. The only reoccurring question that was prominent over all the other ones was: would Alec love him back?

 

 

 

 

  Magnus didn't expect Alec to be in love as he was at this very moment in time but, if Magnus knew Alec would eventually fall in love with _him,_ he would wait as long as it took. Magnus decided, then and there that he would keep this little tidbit of information to himself until the time was 200% right. Magnus glanced back down to Alec and was surprised when he was met with Alec's endlessly blue eyes, staring up at him.

 

 

 

 

" 'Mornin" Alec said, his voice gravelly from sleep, as he nuzzled closer to Magnus, burying his head in Magnus' shirt before throwing his arm around Magnus' waist, taking Magnus by surprise and rendering him speechless, " you're so warm and soft Mags" Alec murmured. Mags? Wow, Alec calling Magnus by a nickname was probably the cutest thing he's ever heard.  _So,_ magnus thought, this was what it was like to wake up next to Alec. Despite his initial surprise, Magnus concluded that he loved the way Alec was in the morning, so open and at ease. Seeing him like this made Magnus' heart sing.

 

 

 

 

"Oh am I?" Magnus said with a light chuckle.

 

 

 

 

"Mhm" Alec responded, nodding against Magnus' chest, "Don't leave ok?" Alec said next.

 

 

 

 

Magnus brought a hand to Alec's hair, softly combing through the curls, marveling at the way Alec hummed in appreciation, " I wouldn't dream of it angel" Magnus said, and sincerely meaning it.

 

 

 

 

"Good" was all Alec said before bringing Magnus even closer and drifting off. Magnus placed a kiss on Alec's head before drifting off himself.

 

 

 

 

      ________________________________

 

 

 

 

  Alec woke up to a makeup free Magnus staring down at him,with a emotion Alec couldn't quit place, in his eyes. Ah Magnus. _This_ , was the type of Magnus he loved seeing the most. Of course he loved glitz and glamour Magnus but when he was rid of any makeup or hair products, it was almost like Alec was getting to see a part of his boyfriend no one else could. Not to mention Magnus' almost unreal natural beauty. His almond shaped eyes that housed his golden brown irises, were usually traced with carefully applied eyeliner, and his hair was usually in a secure bun or neat quiff but, when you took all that away, you were left with Magnus smooth caramel skin, sliky hair that he often wore down at home, and with the absense of eyeliner, Magnus' golden eyes really stood out.  Alec would love waking up to this everyday, and not to mention on top of his boyfriend's beauty, Magnus was also emiting a comfortable heat that made Alec snuggle closer, burying his face in Magnus shirt, inhaling his intoxicating smell. He was feeling so amzingly comfortable and relaxed in Magnus' arms  that Alec couldn't help but say the first thing that came to his mind, " 'mornin" he said before unconsciously adding, "You're so warm and soft Mags" Alec immediately froze from embarrassment but not for long, because almost as soon as after he said it, Magnus' melodic chuckle sounded in his ears and he was immediately at ease, the tension in his body going almost as soon as it had come. 

 

 

 

 

"Oh am i?" Magnus said, causing Alec to smile against his chest.

 

 

 

 

"Mhm" Alec answered matter of factly before adding, "Don't leave ok?" Alec felt Magnus' fingers start to comb through his hair and he couldn't help the appropriative hum that came from him as Magnus answered, "I wouldn't dream of it angel" Magnus said making Alec's heart soar.

 

 

 

 

"Good" was all Alec said before letting himself get swept back up into a dreamless sleep. He'd never felt so safe.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Smile- a term used by Tyra banks in her show America’s next top model, it means to smile with your eyes 
> 
> Ok, so here's the deal. I will now be uploading new chapters every Saturday and only Saturday. Also, i realize that some of the chapters are shorter than other ones but, i go through the occasional writers block and that can't be helped. Anyways, i hope y'all enjoy, as you know feedback is always appreciated. See you Saturday


	20. By the angel

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fluff fluff fluff, tooth rotting fluff. Switches from Alec POV to Magnus POV. I have Malec discuss some serious topics but mostly just being soft domestic boyfriends. Enjoy!

     When Alec awoke again, for the second time that morning, he couldn't help the smile that made it's way onto his face. He loved that he felt so warm and comfortable within Magnus' embrace. So comfortable, that he never wanted to move. Alec cracked his eyes open and smiled when he saw Magnus appearance- a shadow of facial hair present on his usual clean shaven face, his silky straight hair falling on either side of his face, framing it, and his chest moving up and down with each breath. Alec couldn't help but lean forward and place a kiss on Magnus' nose, each eye lid and his lips, which were curving into a smile as Magnus began to stir. Magnus instinctually pulled Alec closer so that he was basically lying on top of Magnus, considering they were already really close on the couch, and  Alec couldn't help but let out a surprised squeak.

 

"Good morning to you too Alexander" Magnus said, opening his brilliantly golden eyes. Magnus' voice was deeper and gravely due to just waking up and Alec couldn't help the shiver that ran through his body at hearing the way his name sounded coming from Magnus. By the angel, the effect this man had on him.

 

"Mm kisses first thing in the morning. What did i do to earn this?" Magnus said staring down at Alec who had his chin propped up on his arms which were folded on top of Magnus' chest. Alec grinned and brought a hand to the side of Magnus' face, blushing when Magnus turned his head and kissed his palm.

 

"Hm I don't know, maybe it's because your amazing and i like to appreciate that" Alec said, brushing his thumb over Magnus hairpin curve lips, his heart skipping a beat when Magnus kissed the pad of Alec’s thumb too, "By the angel are you amazing" Alec whispered.

 

“I’m glad you think so” Magnus said, his voice soft. When Alec's eyes finally made it's way up to Magnus', he was surprised to see that they were holding that same intense emotion that Alec, couldn't quite place earlier that morning. It was really starting to peak Alec's interest but, before Alec could ask about it, Magnus suddenly pulled him in him in for a knees weakening,earth shattering, toe curling type kiss and Alec all but melted into it, burying his fingers into Magnus' silky locs. The kiss built intensity quickly and Alec couldn't help the small soft moans that were escaping his mouth. Even though there was a small part of his brain that was embarrassed as hell... he found himself mostly not caring. Whatever Magnus was doing with his tounge...it was driving Alec mad with desire, the kiss sending waves of desire straight down south and causing Alec pants to grow tighter. Alec had never....he wasn't used to...by the angel this felt amazing.  For so long he was..scared of anything sexual because he'd thought it would be like what it was with Sebastian. Just pain and bad memories. And even though he didn't think he was anywhere close to being ready for sex, being with Magnus made him feel comfortable in a way that he could..test the waters. Not once had he felt forced.

 

Alec's need for friction in a certain area was getting harder to surpress, so Alec tentatively grinded his hips down on Magnus' thigh, immediately gasping when it sent shockwave like tingles of pleasure throughout his whole body. Magnus let out a strangled sound and broke the kiss then, causing Alec to immediately bury his head in Magnus' neck, half because he was embarrassed and half because he was trying to catch his breath.

 

"Alexander” Magnus said breathlessly, his name sounding like a plead on Magnus’ lips. Alec could help the goosebumps that arose on his skin from the way his name had just fallen from Magnus’ lips...it was like a need, like Magnus was desperate for water and Alec was just that.. he loved it. But he couldn’t help but feel guilty for loving it. Was he supposed to love the tiny whines and whimpers and hums of pleasure that escaped Magnus’ lips? Was he supposed to love the moans that he would swallow with their kiss? Was he supposed to love the way Magnus would sigh his name in the sweetest voice he’d ever had the pleasure of hearing, whenever Alec would kiss that sweet spot by his ear cuff? Because he did. He  _loved_  hearing all of the sounds that escaped Magnus, and he didn’t want to stop.

"I'm sorry" Alec finally said in a quiet, nervous voice, his head still buried in Magnus' neck, "I just... I don't know I wanted to see how..it felt? I- by the angel I sound stupid and weird I'm sorry" Alec said cutting himself off when he realized he was probably rambling. It was quiet for a moment before Alec heard Magnus' voice again.

 

"Alexander, look at me" he said. Alec reluctantly raised his head, knowing his face was probably bright red by now, and met Magnus' eyes. Magnus brought a hand up to Alec's cheek, and Alec couldn't help but lean into his touch, his eyes fluttering closed for a second before he opened them again.

 

"Alexander, there's no need to be embarrassed, and no you don't sound stupid. I love that you want to try these things with me, I was just, a little bit, ah, caught off gaurd is all" Magnus said softly.

 

Alec nodded his head, some of his curls falling across his eyes, "Ok...I just- I've never...yknow..and that felt amazing" Alec said despite feeling a bit embarrassed to admit something like that to Magnus.

 

" _God_ , Alexander...you have no _idea_ the things you do to me" Magnus said in such a quiet voice that Alec wasn't sure he was supposed to hear.

 

"Mags, I want..to try things with you...i just don't know what. I'm not experienced with that and...i don't know..all i know is how you make me feel,i always feel safe and i never not once felt like you'd do anything to hurt me " Alec said, playing with the hem of Magnus' shirt.

 

"I understand Alexander, that this can be very confusing to you and i want us to go at your pace, do things when you're ready.  I have a strong policy with anything related to sex, that if we can't talk about it, we shouldn't do it. And i feel this applies especially in this situation...with everything you've been through...having consensual sex or sexual activities when you're not 200% ready, would only hurt you and me. Of course there is things other then sex that we can do, but like I said,we could try them when your ready. We would just need to sit down and have a genuine talk about it so I don’t hurt or..trigger you in anyway. Your comfort comes first, so experimenting is last on my list" Magnus said, his hand coming up to Alec's hair and giving it a ruffle.

 

Alec couldn't help but giggle and lean up, placing a quick, soft kiss on his boyfriends lips, "by the angel, you're so amazing to me" Alec said, repeating himself from earlier while stroking a thumb along Magnus' stubble, "You make me wonder why i ever thought my.. relationship with Sebastian was normal...why i ever accepted it" Alec said mostly to himself, feeling a bit saddened.

After Sebastian, Alec had never in a million years expected to open up to someone again, not as he had before anyway, he expected he’d be closed off as he was to everyone else after that night that changed his life. But then... Magnus Bane happened. Alec had written himself off as damaged goods, both emotionally and physically, he was a anxiety ridden,self harming,over working guy, walking around like a tightly wound up spring ready to release, like a ticking time bomb ready to explode sooner or later. Sebastian still had such control over him then, unbeknownst to him, and it only took Alec hearing his name,to send him into a panic attack. Those times felt like a century ago, but in reality it was only a couple weeks. All the times where he thought he wasn’t worthy of love, all those nights crying himself to sleep and wanting to just.. end it all, to merely get away from the pain....but now, he had an amazing boyfriend he could call his own, and a support system that he deeply cared for. Back when Magnus walked into that studio, and time stopped, Alec- somewhere in the back of his mind- had known, that Magnus would change his life. Even then, Alec never expected to fall so quickly, especially in a romantic way. Heck, he had pushed away his own family, his siblings that he trusted with his life, after that night. But Magnus waltzed in and passed seamlessly through the seemingly impenetrable walls of his heart. And by the angel was Alec glad he did.

 

Magnus wrapped his arms around Alec, effectively breaking him from his thoughts and hugging him closer, "we accept the love we think we deserve" Magnus said softly,in a wistful almost far away voice,like he was again talking more to himself but Alec had just happened to overhear. We accept the love we think we deserve. Hm. Alec had never thought of it that way. He didn't dwell on it long though because the next moment Magnus was sitting up from his lying postion on the couch, in turn, bringing Alec with him. Alec stared at Magnus with curious eyes, "What is it?" He asked.

 

Magnus looked past Alec quickly before smiling, " Well, it's currently 9:17. And I don't have any classes until later so i was thinking we coul-" Magnus suddenly cut himself off, his eyes widening as he looked at Alec, "Wait. Do you have any classes soon?" Magnus asked. Alec cursed under his breath and ran a hand through his unruly curls, "I do..at 10:15. It's a ballet class only for 45 minutes...um" Alec worried his bottom lip while he thought of a solution that would keep Magnus with him, because even though he didn't want to seem clingy, he didn't want he and Magnus to part ways yet.

 

A thought came to mind and Alec couldn't help but immediately blurted it out, "you could come to my class with me and sit in so we could get a early lunch after, the teacher wouldn't mind, he’s pretty laid back..but..I mean that’s only if you want to" when Alec finished, he drew his lip back between his teeth, staring at Magnus and waiting in slight anticipation.

 

Magnus let his arms wrap loosely around Alec’s waist, planting a quick kiss on Alec’s lips with a smile, “of course I want to Alexander” Magnus said before adding, ”we should, get dressed though. You can use some of my old dance gear if you need. Considering you didn’t bring any of your own. You can use the guest room bathroom like before while I use mine” Magnus said stroking Alec’s cheek and effectively sending shivers down his back.

 

“Ok” Alec said with a smile before climbing, reluctantly out of Magnus warm embrace and to the room he had used the first time he’d slept over. Alec stripped down once in the bathroom and climbed into the huge shower. Alec sighed with content, once the steaming hot water hit his skin, and then he began to wash up. Alec loved that he got to use Magnus’ body wash, shampoo and conditioner, because he was just surrounded by Magnus’ amazing smell and it felt like a warm blanket over him. After Alec had successfully washed out all the conditioner from his hair he turned off the water, grabbed a towel andexited the shower. Walking into the room Alec stopped in his tracks when he saw Magnus there, placing down the clothes he’d promised to bring. Magnus turned around the same time Alec was exiting the bathroom and when Magnus had seen Alec, he had let out what sounded like a small gasp and now he was staring, eyes being pulled to Alec chest. Alec felt the inevitable blush, heat his face and neck as he opened and closed his mouth trying to get a word out. Those golden brown eyes that Alec loved so much, were moving from Alec’s bare torso and arms, to his face then back again. By the angel this was so terribly embarrassing, Alec felt so vulnerablebeing on display, in front of Magnus no less, but he was paralyzed in place. When Magnus’ eyes finally met Alec’s they were holding such an intense emotion that it sent a shiver through his body, goosebumps spreading all over. Unlike earlier, this was a different emotion...the closest thing Alec could compare it to was..want? Or desire? Maybe? By the angel-what did he know, he’d never seen someone look at him with such infatuation. Alec was broken out of his thoughts when Magnus suddenly cleared his throat,his eyes now trained at the ground as he mumbled a quick,

 

“I should go” before turning on his heel and exiting. Alec blinked a couple times before running his hands through his now damp hair, letting out a huff. He rushed to throw the clothes on that Magnus had put out, everything fitting surprisingly well, before he dashed out of the room, making his way to Magnus’ and knocking. After Magnus said come in , Alec slowly pushed the door open, peeking his head inside.

 

“Hey can I come in?” He said, his eyes immediately finding Magnus, who was laying on top of his bed, arms tucked behind his head as he stared at the ceiling.

 

“Yeah of course angel” Magnus answered. With that Alec padded his way into the room quietly. All he really wanted was to be in Magnus’ arms again so he did just that. Swallowing any sort of doubts or nerves about being on a bed with Magnus for the first time instead of a couch like they usually were, Alec climbed onto Magnus huge bed, and crawled over until he was where Magnus had settled. Throwing a arm around Magnus’ waist and laying his head on Magnus’ chest Alec couldn’t help but sigh in contentment as he listened to Magnus’ heart beat. To surprise and enjoyment, he didn’t feel the familiar rise of anxiety rise in his chest...which was completely baffling, because that’s what he expect to happen but..it was almost like his mind and body _knew_  that Magnus would hurt him, so he just hummed happily and relaxed into Magnus’ side

For a moment they just layed there, enjoying each other’s company, all thoughts of class or work or anything else forgotten, until, surprisingly Magnus broke the silence.

 

“Alexander I’m sorry if I.. made you uncomfortable in any way, walking in on you like that. If I had known you were..I would’ve nev-“ Alec cut Magnus off with a kiss.

 

“Mags, I really appreciate that, but you didn’t,make me feel uncomfortable. I mean, yeah, I was just really embarrassed if I’m being honest...that you saw my body. I mean- I’m just really not comfortable with how I look yknow? So...” Alec trailed off hoping Magnus would get the message.

 

“Alexander....you’re beautiful... _god_ are you beautiful. That’s _why_ I had trouble leaving. I was literally so enamored by your angelic like beauty that I was stuck in place, Alexander. I wish you could see yourself as I see you, as something worth fighting for, as someone so amazingly strong and intelligent” Magnus said,looking at Alec with an intense stare.

 

“Magnus...I don’t-don’t know what to say” Alec replied. And the truth was he didn’t know what to say, he wasn’t used to compliments and he didn’t think he ever would be. He couldn’t put into words how much Magnus saying that to him, meant, he couldn’t convey it, so he said the only thing that he could,

 

“Thank you” Alec said in a low sincere voice

 

“You never have to thank me for giving you the appreciation you deserve babe” Magnus said stroking Alec’s face.

 

Alec raised his eye brows and stared at Magnus in surprise, “Babe?” He said

 

Magnus looked at Alec and laughed, “just trying out some nicknames, since yours for me now is Mags. Not into being called babe?” Magnus asked, raising one perfect eyebrow, a light smile on his face.

 

Alec nuzzled Magnus’ neck, smiling, “No, I love it” He said happily

 

“Ok what about sweet pea?” Magnus said

 

Alec lifted his head and looked at Magnus as if he were crazy, shaking his head quickly 

 

“Ok so no sweet pea” Magnus said with an amused giggle. Magnus rubbed his chin for a bit before saying, “What about pumpkin?”

 

When Alec scrunched up his nose in distaste Magnus smiled, “Ok ok, no foods. So angel,darling,babe it is” Magnus said with a grin so beautiful that it would bring and man or woman to their knees.

 

———————————————

 

Magnus pulled up to Alec’s school and set the car in park. He and Alec hopped out of the car and made their way to the building.

 

“Ah..Julliard huh?” Magnus said, looking up at the building as he and Alec walked up to it, hand in hand.

 

“Yeah..” Alec said smiling, “I love dance, have ever since I could remember, getting into here was a dream come though..”

 

Magnus glanced over at Alec and smiled to himself as he caught the purely happy look on his features as he continued talking about dance. It was times like these, and moments like this, that Magnus knew, for sure, that Alec had his heart. Alec lead him through the school and to what Magnus assumes was his class.

 

“Wait here, while I go talk to my teacher” Alec said to Magnus, giving him a quick peck on the lips before turning and dashing into the room. Magnus watched through the window as Alec approached a man who seemed to be in his late 40’s, and started a conversation. Magnus smiles fondly before leaning against the nearest wall, waiting as promised. His thoughts were drifting back to this morning, waking up to Alec’s kisses, the talk they had, Magnus’ epiphany. All of it. Having Alec in his life had made it so much better, Alec was different than anyone he’d ever met or been with, and even though Magnus felt extremely vulnerable with Alec, it was undeniable that Alec had-as Ragnor had put it- tore down the walls he built around his heart. Within a mere couple of weeks no less. Magnus was pulled out of his thoughts when a petite Asian girl came into his line of sight.

 

“Are you Magnus Bane?” She asked, her eyes wide and curious

 

“Indeed I am” Magnus responded, straightening up from his leaning position on the wall and winking at the girl, his smile still in place.

 

“Oh wow! I’m Aline. Aline Penhallow” the girl said, sticking out a slender hand for Magnus to shake, which he did with no hesitation, “I absolutely adore your work. Did you come to teach the class today?”

 

Magnus chuckled “No I’m actually here with my boyfriend, he’s a dancer here, Alexander, Alexander Lightwood?” Magnus said motioning to the room that Alec was yet to come out of.

 

This must’ve been a shock to Aline because her mouth fell open and her eyes widened even more than what they were previously. Her mouth opened and closed a few times as if trying to get out a sentence.

 

“Something the matter?” Magnus implored, his brow furrowing in confusion. Before Aline could answer Alec walked out of the room, talking to Magnus while his eyes were focused on his ballet pointe shoe that rested in his hand, as he undid the tie in it.

 

“Hey Mags, Hodge said it was cool, as long as you aren’t disruptive and take off your shoes before stepping on the dance floor, yknow just the basi-“ Alec’s voice faltered when he finally looked up, his eye bouncing back and fourth between Magnus and Aline.

 

“Alexander”

“Alec”

 

Magnus and Aline both said at the same time. Magnus watched as Alec blinked a couple times before his eyes focused on Magnus’. He watched as Alec seemed to visibly relax,before he made his way over to Magnus’ side. Once Alec was by his side he swiftly kissed Magnus’ cheek before sliding his hand into Magnus and turning to face Aline who was looking on at the interaction with what seemed like pride.

 

“Ali, I see that you’ve met Magnus...my,er, boyfriend” Alec said causing Magnus’ heart to do a backflip in his chest. Boyfriend. He couldn’t help but feel his chest warm at the term of endearment. 

Aline stared for a mere second before she squealed excitedly, rushing forward and bringAlec into what looked to be a tight embrace, which, was quiet a sight, considering Aline’s height.

 

“By the angel Alec! How could you not tell me the Magnus you were crushing on was _the_  Magnus Bane. And when did you get a boyfriend? How did I not know about this? You guys should definitely come to a double date with Helen and I” she gushed excitedly.

 

Magnus couldn’t help but laugh fondly at the scene playing out in front of him, and the embarrassed blush covering Alec’s face.

 

Once Alec was out of his friends embrace he cleared his throat and turned to Magnus, “Well, uh, I see you’ve met my friend Aline” Alec said motioning between Magnus and Aline.

 

“Ah yes,” Magnus said smiling at the girl, “Pleasure to have met you” Magnus said.

 

After a bit more conversing Alec grabbed Magnus by the hand and lead him into the room, Aline following close behind them. Alec stopped him on the carpet that they were standing on by the entrance, and Magnus already knew what to do, having been in the dance industry for a while. He bent down and slipped off his designer boots before straightening back up. Alec was staring at his socks before he looked back into Magnus’ eyes, the cutest smirk on his face.

 

“Say hi if your bi? Really Mags? Where do you even get socks like this?” Alec said shaking his head and chuckling to himself, before bringing Magnus in for a kiss, “I gotta go dance now, you can sit over there in the break area, I’ll be done in no time” Alec said before dashing off to join the group of guys and girls standing in a semi circle around, who Magnus would assume, was Hodge. After they finished their apparent conversion they dispersed, Alec and Aline walking to the middle of the floor, while everyone else scattered to the middle of the floor. Magnus watched on, interested in what they were about to do. The ominous chords started and Magnus knew immediately what this was, The Phantom of the Opera, one of the best stories written in his opinion. Magnus watched as Aline broke off from Alec, executing beautiful technique as Christine’s beautiful voice rang across the dance room, Alec followed when the Phantoms voice came on, and it went like that for the rest of the dance, like a call and response between Alec and Aline with tricks and lifts and Magnus was absolutely captivated. Yeah sure he’d seen Alec dance freestyles and show the kids how to do the choreography but.. this? This was pure art. Alec had perfect technique and he was conveying the character of the phantom so well, and Magnus was mesmerized. His boyfriend was truly talented. Soon the song was over and the room erupted with claps, Magnus probably being the loudest clapper. Alec and Aline both stood there breathing heavily and smiling at each other. Hodge came up and told them little things they could fix before having them perform it again. Soon they were all dismissed and Alec made his way over to Magnus.

 

“Hey” Alec said looking down at Magnus who was still sitting in the chair he had been the whole time.

 

Magnus raised his eyes brows and grabbed Alec’s hands, tugging him down onto his lap, “Hey yourself. Alexander, that performance... was amazing” Magnus said, the awe obvious in his voice. Alec’s pale face turned the beautiful shade of pink that Magnus loved seeing.

 

“It still needs a lot more working on..but thank you” Alec said before leaning in to kiss Magnus on the lips. Magnus hummed happily, resting his forehead against Alecs. He could truly hold Alec in his arms forever and be perfectly content. Their comfortable silence was broken by Alec’s growling stomach. Alec’s eyes widened and Magnus burst out laughing.

 

“I take it your hungry after all that hard work?” Magnus said motioning to Alec’s stomach.

 

“Just a bit” Alec said rubbing the back of his neck embarrassed.

 

“Alright,let’s go get that early lunch I promised you” Magnus said, letting Alec stand up before he followed suit and they walked out the doors of the studio hand in hand.

 

Alec and Magnus pulled up to Takis per Alec’s suggestion and they made their way inside. Once seated they ordered their food and waited for it to come. Alec ordered a pizza and lemonade while Magnus ordered a hamburger. In no time their food was placed in front of them and they ate silently. After the food was finished Magnus asked if Alec wanted to go back to his house or for him to be dropped off at his apartment. Alec suggested they go to his apartment for him to get some overnight.

 

“I thought I could stay over, if that’s alright with you?” Alec said looking towards Magnus.

 

Magnus smiled fondly over at his boyfriend, “of course, I’d love you to” Magnus said.

 

Once they pulled up to Alec’s apartment complex Magnus set his car in park and ran around to Alec’s door to let him out, before taking Alec’s hand in his and linking their fingers. Magnus and Alec made their way up to Alec’s floor through the elevator and were walking down the hallway to his door when Magnus noticed someone in a black hoodie standing in front of Alec’s door. Slowing his pace he turned his face to Alec, “who’s that?” Magnus asked, tilting his head in the direction of the stranger. Alec’s brows furrowed as he stopped in place, a couple feet from his door, in turn, causing Magnus to stop also.

 

“I have no idea” Alec said, his facial expression turning to concern. Magnus let go of Alec’s hand and walked towards the figure, laying a hand on the person’s shoulders and turning them around. Magnus didn’t recognize the person who stood before him so he turned back to Alec and sent him a quizzical look. When Alec’s eyes came to rest on the person standing next to him, Magnus watched as his facial express went from concern tomild dread.

 

“By the angel..” Alec whispered in disbelief.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hmm I wonder who’s at Alec’s door step. Saturday so new upload, I had the time to revise so there should be less mistakes than usual. I wanted Malec to both acknowledge how short it’s been but how they still feel this strong connection because hey, the heart wants what it wants and love has no boundaries. As always feedback,comments,kudos are much appreciated, feel free to comment if you see any major errors. See you next Saturday:)


	21. Irrevocably in love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hey y’all. I read all of your comments on my last update about not finishing the story and I realized that it would incredibly cruel of me to at least not try to tie loose ends with this story, so that’s what I’ll do.

Alec made his way out of the dance room after checking with Hodge if it was ok for Magnus to stay, which he said yes to. He had been busy with trying to untie his ballet pointe shoes as he pushed the door open, and without looking up he started talking to Magnus who he knew would still be waiting outside the room.

“Hey Mags, Hodge said it was cool, as long as you aren’t disruptive and take off your shoes before stepping on the dance floor, yknow just the basi-“ Alec’s voice faltered when he finally looked up, and he saw that Magnus wasn’t alone, but joined by Aline. His eyes bouncing back and fourth between his boyfriend and his friend who looked as if they were conversing a few seconds earlier. Both Magnus and Aline called his name, Magnus sending him a curious look and Aline sending him her infamous ‘you better explain everything later’ look. Momentarily shocked by the situation, Alec stood there for a second, before shaking out of his stupor and focusing on his beautiful boyfriend, who was staring at him with a confused look. Gazing into those golden brown irises immediately calmed Alec and he immediately walked over to his beloved, grasping his hand and turning to face his dear childhood friend and dance partner.

 

“Ali, I see you’ve met my, er, boyfriend “ Alec said lamely. He never used the term boyfriend out loud for addressing Magnus to someone else, and he gaged Magnus’ reaction from the corner of his eye, searing for any sort of discomfort with the word. He found none. Alec was brought out of his thoughts when he heard his friend let out a squeal of excitement before he got a arms full of Aline, as she brought him in for a tight hug, letting out a million questions per second before inevitably releasing him. Once released Alec turned to Magnus a bit sheepish and motioned to his partner, “well, I see you’ve met my friend Aline” Alec said, his heart soaring when he heard Magnus’ beautiful laugh enter his ears.

 

“Ah yes,” Magnus said smiling at the girl, “Pleasure to have met you”

 

They stood outside the room conversing for a bit,Alec explaining how Aline and him had been friends and dance partners forever and were the lead roles in their schools dance adaption of phantom of the opera. The whole time they talked Alec’s hand never left Magnus’, as he found comfort in the smallest of touches. After they finished their conversation they all entered the room, Aline wondering off to finish stretching and warming up he presumed, while Alec waited with Magnus as he removed his shoes on the rug placed there for that sole purpose. Alec eyes immediately caught sight of Magnus’ socks, which sported the words “say hi if your bi” in the bi flag colors, and he couldn’t help but laugh at his boyfriends extravagant sock collection.

 

“Say hi if your bi? Really Mags? Where do you even get socks like this?” Alec said shaking his head and chuckling to himself, before bringing Magnus in for a kiss, “I gotta go dance now, you can sit over there in the break area, I’ll be done in no time” Alec said before dashing off to join the group of his classmates standing in a semi circle around his teacher. Once he was in ear shot he started picking up what hodge was discussing.

 

“-and that’s all that’s on the agenda today. Full run through of POTO as many times as we can do we can clean it up. Sound good?” hodge said glancing around at all the dancers, who responded with nods, “ok then, let’s get started, Lightwood, Penhallow, take your places”

 

The group dispersed and Alec and Aline took center stage- or room in this case- waiting for the music to start. Alec was getting into character when he felt Aline nudge him lightly. When he looked up she spoke.

 

“Don’t think this means your off the hook Lightwood. Your telling me everything later, like why you weren’t here at practice yesterday and when you and MAGNUS BANE started dating” Aline said in a subtle whisper. Alec rolled his eyes at his prying friend but he nodded a silent ok, knowing she wouldn’t let him get out of telling her everything. As the music started Aline broke off from Alec and it began. Once they were finished the room erupted in cheers, causing Alec to look over at Aline with a smile, communicating with their eyes their praises for each other. After Hodge dismisses them Alec immediately makes his way over to Magnus. Alec loved dancing but.. he found himself excited to be in Magnus’ warm embrace again. Alec couldn’t help his blush as Magnus watched him walk over until he was right in front of him.

 

“Hey” Alec said lamely, unable to think of anything else under Magnus’ intense gaze. Magnus looked at him incredulously and before Alec knew it , he was being tugged down onto his boyfriend’s lap.

 

“Hey yourself” Magnus said, making Alec’s face heat up even more, he’d never been one for pda but, although he was blushing, he found himself happy to be on Magnus’ lap, while his strong tan arms came to circle loosely around Alec’s waist. It felt warm and safe.

 

“Alexander, that performance... was amazing” Magnus said, the awe obvious in his voice. Alec’s pale face no doubt coloring with the blush that seemed to come whenever he was around Magnus.

 

“It still needs a lot more working on..but thank you” Alec said before leaning in to kiss Magnus on the lips. Magnus hummed happily with a soft smile before, resting his forehead against Alec’s. He could truly stay in Magnus’ arms forever and be perfectly content. Their comfortable silence was broken by Alec’s growling stomach. Alec’s eyes widened and Magnus burst out laughing, a sound that Alec enjoyed immensely.

 

“I take it out hungry after all that hard work?” Magnus said motioning to Alec’s stomach.

 

“Just a bit” Alec said rubbing the back of his neck embarrassed.

 

“Alright,let’s go get that early lunch I promised you” Magnus said, letting Alec stand up before he followed suit and they walked out the doors of the studio hand in hand.

 

Alec and Magnus pulled up to Takis per Alec’s suggestion and they made their way inside. Once seated they ordered their food and waited for it to come. Alec ordered a pizza and lemonade while Magnus ordered a hamburger. In no time their food was placed in front of them and they ate silently. After the food was finished Magnus asked if Alec wanted to go back to his house or for him to be dropped off at his apartment. Alec suggested they go to his apartment for him to get some overnight.

 

“I thought I could stay over, if that’s alright with you?” Alec said looking towards Magnus holding his breath slightly in anticipation. He didn’t want to seem clingy but..he also didn’t want to be away from Magnus.

 

Magnus smiled fondly over at Alec causing his heart to warm, “of course, I’d love you to” Magnus said.

 

Once they pulled up to Alec’s apartment complex Magnus set his car in park and ran around to Alec’s door to let him out, before taking Alec’s hand in his and linking their fingers. Magnus and Alec made their way up to Alec’s floor through the elevator and were walking down the hallway to his door when Magnus noticed someone in a black hoodie standing in front of Alec’s door. Slowing his pace he turned his face to Alec, “who’s that?” Magnus asked, tilting his head in the direction of the stranger. Alec’s brows furrowed as he stopped in place, a couple feet from his door, in turn, causing Magnus to stop also.

 

“I have no idea” Alec said, his facial expression turning to concern. Magnus let go of Alec’s hand and walked towards the figure, laying a hand on the person’a shoulders and turning them around. Magnus must not have recognized the person who stood before him so he turned back to Alec and sent him a quizzical look. When Alec’s eyes came to rest on the person standing next to him and he felt his emotions go from surprise to confusion to dread.

 

“By the angel..” Alec whispered in disbelief, “Mother” Alec said, approaching his mom slowly and plastering on a smile “what are you doing here?” His mother was there in front of his door, her normally pulled back hair was loose around her face and her make up was light, she didn’t wear her normal Armani dress and instead was wearing sweats. It made Alec more than a little concerned, Alec watched asMaryse walked up to Alec and brought him down into an embrace before cupping his face in her hands,

 

“Alec, we need to talk, can we go inside?” She said causing Alec’s eyes to shoot to Manus’. He found them staring back at him curiously. He knew that saying no to Maryse wasn’t an option, so, even though he did want to grab his things and go over to Magnus’... it wasn’t realistic. Alec’s lack of response must’ve gotten his mom’s attention and she must’ve follow his gaze because a minute later she said,

 

“Oh, Alec who’s this?” She said, her voice pinched and tight as she took in Magnus’, make up, hair, and outfit, her face turning to a barely contained sneer of disgust. Alec felt his heart drop and he started to panic, she couldn’t know who Magnus was, or that he was Alec’s boyfriend. He knew that she would tell his father and his father would do horrible things to either Alec or Magnus, and he couldn’t have that.

 

“He’s just a friend, a coworker of mine mom, this is Magnus. Don’t worry he was just leaving, let’s go” Alec quickly said before a conversation could bloom between his mother and boyfriend. He unlocked his apartment door quick and ushered his mother inside.

 

“Go to the sitting area, I’ll be right there” he said and waited until his mother turned the corner to face Magnus again, he was getting ready to apologize when he saw Magnus’ face. He froze. Magnus was looking at him with a perfectly shaped eyebrow raised.

 

Alec felt his heart clench and rushed to explain, his words jumbling together as he whispered quickly “Mags, I-I’m sorry it’s just. My mom and dad don’t agree with me being...well you know..they think I’m going through some sort of phase and will one day wake up and be straight...trust me they.. are not good people. When I came out to them my dad was furious and threatened to stop paying for my college tuition if I didn’t ‘grow and up be a man’.... I-“ Alec was cut off when he felt warm lips on his own, and all doubts and fears immediately left his body as he melted into the kiss. All too soon it was over and Magnus pulled back, staring into Alec’s eyes, Alec brought his hands up to cup Magnus’ face, his heart doing a flip when Magnus turned his face a placed a soft kiss on his wrist.

 

“I just..I didn’t want you to think I was ashamed of you, or anything like that” Alec said stroking Magnus’ cheek, looking at him worriedly

 

Magnus smiled and patted the hand that was still cupping his face “It’s ok, Alexander. I understand. I could go do some grocery shopping and you can call me when she’s gone. I’ll pick you up and we can continue our day, sound good?” Magnus said, looking down at Alec. He nodded and smiled

 

“Sounds great”

 

They hugged one last time, Magnus placing a kiss on his temples before parting ways. As Alec closed the door and walked farther into his apartment, he couldn’t help but miss Magnus already.

Alec entered the sitting room and found his mother there, a cup of something hot in her hands. Alec changed his stance, feet apart, and hands clasped behind his back. Ever since he was young, he knew that Maryse and Robert liked their kids to stand like this because it showed they were ready for direction. Maryse did a subtle nod, a small, tight lipped smile on her face.

 

“Mom, what did you need us to talk about” Alec said, keeping his tone and expression stoic

 

“Right to business I see. Well, I came to tell you, that we’ll be having our annual family dinner a bit earlier this year,next Friday to be exact. I’m aware of your new...internship at that dance studio but, you’ll have to attend” Maryse said with finality in her voice. Alec nodded. That wasn’t what he planned... to be dealing with his mother and father in one room this early in the year but.. he didn’t have a choice.

 

“Is that all?” Alec said nervously. His mother traveled all the way from her house here..just to tell him something that could be sent in a text message? Alec watched his mom expectantly, waiting for some other kind of news. Alec couldn’t help but notice as his mother’s face seemed to fall into a disappointed expression before it was quickly concealed. That wasn’t like her at all...

 

“Yes, well, that was all, I’ll be going, make sure to portray the message to your siblings for me. I’ll show myself out” Maryse said before standing and exiting quickly. Alec couldn’t help but stare after her, utterly confused on what just happened. Although he was curious, he pushed it to the back of his mind and focused on getting back to Magnus. Alec sent him a text that he was done and began to pack his stuff, he didn’t want to pack too much, because it was only one night so he only packed a outfit and toiletries and brought his dance bag with all his gear in it. He just finished the packing, and was spread on his black couch when he heard a knock. His first instinct was to jump up and throw open the door, considering it was Magnus on the other end but,he gave himself a second to calm down and walked calmly to the door, opening it and being met with Magnus’ familiar face. Alec rushed forward and hugged him, breathing in his calming scent.

 

“Ready to go?” Magnus whispered in his ear, causing a shiver to run down Alec’s spine that he didn’t even bother hiding. Alec nodded against the taller mans neck and they walked out of his apartment complex and in hand. On the drive to Magnus’ place they held hands the whole way. Alec wanted to be as close to Magnus as possible. He couldn’t help but admire his beautiful boyfriend’s profile as his eyes were focused on the road. Perfect hair,smooth tan skin, beautiful eyes, amazing style...Magnus glanced over at Alec, catching him staring and brought Alec’s hand up to his lips, brushing his lips against Alec’s knuckle, shooting him a dazzling smile before focusing on the road again. Alec’s heart stuttered, while something bloomed in his chest, and he just knew, right then, in Magnus’ car, that he had irrevocably, undeniably fallen in love with Magnus Bane.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don’t think there will be any sort of schedule for this stuff but I guess just keep your eyes peeled for new update, I’ll try my best to finish this as soon as possible


	22. What goes up....

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> *sexual activity warning*
> 
> This chapter switches between Alec and Magnus’ POV frequently. This chapter can get confusing if you don’t read closely
> 
> enjoy!

    Alec was staring around the table that was tense with silence while everyone picked at their food. This was quite the family dinner. The Lightwood family dinners were always like this but today felt worse then most, all Alec wanted to do was go home to Magnus who he knew was just getting off from teaching their little ones. Alec wasn’t able to go because he had been shopping with Izzy for their dinner outfits for the better part of the day before they got ready and went to the dinner. This was a annual thing, they always needed to buy new dress clothes for the dinner lest they be the laughing stock and scape goat for their parents harsh words all night. Now, here they were in an uncomfortable silence, everyone waiting for the night to end. The uncomfortable silence was finally broken when Maryse suddenly cleared her throat loudly and set her Tupperware down, drawing her children’s attention.

 

“So I know you all are probably wondering the reason for such a early dinner” Maryse said looking around at her kids

Alec, Izzy and Jace all shared a look before focusing back on their mom.

 

“Well, your father and I are getting a divorce”

 

The table seemed to be even more silent then it was previously before everyone shook out of their stupor and muttered a response. After Maryse’s announcement, the night was unsalvageable and so they all decided to call it a night. If Alec was being completely honest,he wasn’t all that bothered by his parents split, he mainly just worried about who their little brother,Max, was going to be living with. Although both of his parent were bad, Alec would absolutely hate if Max went to Robert. Alec contemplated it on the way to his apartment but ultimately decided that it would all work or, and if push came to shove, he would step in. Considering that the year was coming to a close, and graduation as well as their end of the year performance were just on the horizon, Alec had to start working harder then ever considering it was less than 6 weeks away. Loads of popular and high up dance companies were going to be out scouting at the performance so it had to be perfect. Once he made it inside his apartment, he changed out of his suit and into some comfortable pajama pants, which had cows on them, and a black short sleeved shirt then texted Magnus to come over. It had been a week or so since Alec had gotten to just hang out with his boyfriend even though it felt like ages and it felt all too empty being in a house with out Magnus.Soon enough he heard that knock on his door and he rushed to open the door, immediately throwing himself into the strong arms of his boyfriend.

______________

Magnus was in his car on his way to meet with Alec at his apartment. It had been a couple days- almost a week since they’ve gotten to properly hang out, as the year was coming to a close, the couldn’t properly hang out and talk while teaching and Alec had to practice with Aline on their piece whenever he had free time so that meant no hanging out after teaching their classes on Monday or Friday. And today Alec had that family dinner that had taken up most all of his day. When Magnus finally pulled up to the familiar complex, he parked and got out. Making his way into the building and up to the floor he knew Alec was on. Although he hasn’t entered Alec’s flat yet, he did know which one he lived in. He got to the door and knocked twice before waiting for his boyfriend to answer. He didn’t have to wait long though because soon enough the door of the apartment swung open and before he knew it he had a arms full of Alec. His nose was filled with the smell of lavender and Alec and he was immediately relaxed. He loved it. He loved him.

 

“Hi darling” Magnus said, giving Alec a squeeze and placing a kiss on his boyfriends forehead before releasing him, “how was the dinner” Magnus asked as Alec led him inside, closing the door behind them

 

“Well..” Alec said trailed off while leading Magnus to why he assumed was his room. The room itself was completely Alec, modernly decorated, a bookshelf in one corner and a dresser in the other. Only when they were inside and both on the bed, sitting adjacent to each other, their hands links and knees touching, did he continue, “It was tense and awkward as usual..my mom actually told us that her and my father are getting divorced” Alec said with a small shrug. Magnus’ eyes widened and he stared at Alec. Although Magnus didn’t really grow up with proper parents, he knew enough that people were usually torn to hear their parents are divorcing.

 

“You say that so nonchalant” Magnus said with a strained chuckle.Alec glanced down, looking a bit ashamed

 

“well, if I’m honest, I can’t say that my dad and and mom are at all good together...pretty bad actually..if I’m being honest..my dad was uh, quite the abusive, cheating, piece of shit” Alec said so bluntly and Magnus had to blink a few times, absorbing what he’d just been told.

 

“Did he ever..” Magnus began but immediately cut himself off when Alec started shaking his head

 

“Not really..he had a temper but it was really just verbal abuse” Alec said avoiding Magnus’ eyes. Magnus nodded in understanding.

 

Alec watched as his boyfriend got a far away look on his face. Alec scooted closerand placed his arms on Magnus’ shoulders

 

“What’s wrong?” Alec said burying his fingers in the hair at his boyfriends nape and brushing his nose against Magnus’.

 

Magnus closed his eyes, leaning his forehead against Alec’s “it’s nothing, just...my dad was a abusive piece of shit also. Both verbally and physically, to my mom and I” Magnus saidwhile wrapping his arms around Alec’s waist “So I can relate, that’s all”

 

Alec furrowed his brow. Magnus had yet to talk about much of his past. All Alec really knew about it was that he was of Indonesian descent, he’d gone to and graduated Julliard school, his mother had died when he was young-though Magnus had never told him how-, that Camille was a terrible ex he’d been involved with and that he was adopted by Raphael’s parents. Although he really did want to know more, he also didn’t want to push Magnus.

 

“Magnus, I’m, so sorry you had to go through that, it’s never right for a parent to abuse their kid” Alec said stroking Magnus’ cheek with a thumb. The previous look of mild sadness was gone from Magnus’ face and he placed a quick peck on Alec’s lips.

 

“It’s ok Alexander, I know how much of a piece of shit he was, I just get sad knowing my mom never would leave him...at least not the conventional way” Magnus said with a sad smile and a one shouldered shrug. Alec was confused on exactly what Magnus meant by that but decided against asking.

 

“So” Magnus said, “Does ordering in and watching a good show sound good? I’ve found a few interesting ones on Netflix” Magnus said a twinkle in his eye as he wiggles his eyebrows mischievously. Alec couldn’t help but burst out laughing at his adorable boyfriend. He could tell that Magnus didn’t want to talk about it right now so he let him change the subject. They agreed on pizza and set up a show called Lucifer on Alec’s laptop and immediately got sucked in.

 

After a few slices of pizza and half a season later, Alec’s head was resting in Magnus’ lap as he ran his hands through Alec’s unruly curls soothingly.

 

Alec yawned and turned to look up at his beautiful boyfriend, “Hey Mags?” Alec started

 

“Hmm?”

 

“You know you can tell me anything right?” Alec said earnestly, watching as those warm golden brown eyes focused on him. Magnus smiled lightly and nodded

 

“But of course”

 

_______________________________

 

Magnus’ body was floating on a cloud of pleasure, and Alec was the cause. It had been five weeks or so since the day Alec had admitted he wanted to try things with Magnus (and officially a month- nearly two- since Alec and Magnus had started their relationship) but to Magnus’ dismay, his subconscious seemed to love the idea all too much. A week or two after the moment, Magnus’ mind started frequently going...there in his sleeping state, regardless of if he wanted it to or not, and he’d wake up with either a straining erection or a mess in his pants. Considering Alec had started to spend every other night at Magnus’ loft,which he loved, it was often when Magnus would have to stealthily leave the warmth of their bed to take a cold shower or to drink some tea and read to calm his raging hormones. It was embarrassing, and he felt extremely guilty, because one, he felt terrible and shameful that he was dreaming about Alec in that way, and two he wasn’t lying when he said he wouldn’t care if he and Alec never got farther then kissing, because he truly wouldn’t care, he just loved Alec and that was enough. But even though he felt that way,his mind on the other hand, couldn’t get the feel of Alec’s hips rolling deliciously against his, the small sounds Alec makes whenever they were kissing, or the way Alec looked standing there with beads of water sliding down his perfectly sculpted arms and torso, out of his head. Although he never fantasized anything farther than a heated make out session, with the absence of a few articles of clothing, it still felt wrong to fantasize about his boyfriend in that light, not to mention he was completely embarrassed and perturbed that his body was reacting like a teenager with raging hormones all because of Alexander. Today was no different, he was in his dream state, and Alec was shirtless on top of him, their lips colliding in a heated kiss. He ran his hands up and down Alec’s bare back, over the taut muscles that made up his shoulders to the small of his back. As Alec broke off the kiss to lay sweet kisses down Magnus’ neck he couldn’t help but moan softly and sigh his lovers name. He felt as if he was on a cloud and he was surrounded by Alec on all sides. There was nothing better. Everything was playing out per usual when Magnus felt a hand run through his hair, and unlike the dream like touches, it felt all too real. But it felt extremely good. So Magnus let a sigh of pleasure escape his lips. He’d always been a sucker for when his past lovers played with his hair. The dream was continuing when suddenly he felt warm lips against his ear and he felt a shiver run through his body, goosebumps arising in the process.

 

“Mags...wake up”

 

The familiar voice of his beloved pulled Magnus out of his dream state and he blinked open his eyes, golden ones meeting blue. Alec was staring at him and it came to Magnus’ attention that he had just been caught dreaming not so innocently about Alec, by Alec, which probably made him seem like, one, a creep and two, a hypocrite. He felt his face heat up in embarrassment. He turned and hid his face in the pillow below him, wishing for the ground to swallow him up

              _____________

Alec woke up to the sound of....wait was that...Alec’s tired eyes shot open and he lifted his head off of his lovers chest, eyes immediately assessing Magnus’ face. His boyfriend looked positively blissful, debauched, and...asleep? His boyfriends cheeks were slightly flushed and his mouth slightly open, his expression a vision of pleasure as Alec’s name left his lips in soft gasps, which he had to admit, we’re doing things to him. Alec couldn’t help the smile that bloomed on his face as he realized that his lover was indeed dreaming about him, and apparently not in the most angelic light. Though it came to Alec’s attention that Magnus was having some sort of wet dream with Alec in it, Alec couldn’t help the bit of pride and happiness that was steadily pooling in his chest over that fact that Magnus’ attraction to him was true, true enough to be in his dreams. Magnus did want him. After a few minutes of listening closely to his boyfriends gasps and moans and pleasured sighs, Alec decided he should think of how he wanted this to play out. It had been nearly 2 whole months of a steady, amazing, stable relationship with Magnus, and he was extremely happy. He hadn’t had a anxiety or panic attack since the day Sebastian had sent that letter, no relapses into self harm, no nightmares, and though he did have days that he was down and wanted to push everyone and everything away, Magnus was always there to be his rock,to support him when he needed and for that he was grateful and most of all, he hadn’t encountered Sebastian since that day, by now he was sure that he’d rid that demon of his past for good. Magnus had opened up immensely, let down his guard and told Alec things that Ale knew were extremely sensitive topics for his boyfriend, which made Alec love him even more. He hadn’t informed Magnus of the revelation he’d had in the car that day, simply because he didn’t want to tell Magnus he loved him and Magnus feel pressured to say it back, he knew more than anyone else, that when love was brought into the equation, everything changed. Now lying here in their bed, he knew he wanted desperately to take a step towards trying something with Magnus, he’d put a lot of thought into it since their last talk about it and, he knew he was ready. Yes he’d been raped but...contrary to his previous beliefs, he wasn’t broken or damaged, and he wasn’t going to let Sebastian take anything else from him. He just knew. He knew it when Magnus touched him-held him- and he didn’t feel an ounce of rising anxiety or fear or even the bad memories, all he felt, was Magnus. He realized long ago that he fully trusted Magnus with his body, and he was ready, he wanted it, by the angel-he needed it, and he knew that he would need to take the first step, because Magnus, wanted to go by Alec’s pace. So, Alec decided that’s exactly what he’d do, he’d show and tell Magnus what he wanted, what he’d been wanting.

 

Alec brought his hand up to Magnus’ hair and ran his fingers through the silky locks, marveling at how Magnus leaned into his touch, a soft sigh escaping. Alec leaned up until his lips were a hairs breath away from his boyfriends ear and whispered

 

“Mags...wake up”

 

Alec watched as Magnus slowly came to, his beautiful golden brown orbs emerging as his eyes fluttered open. Magnus stared at Alec a while, dazed before his face took on a expression of realization followed by embarrassment and what looked to be mild dread. Alec watched slightly amused as his beloved buried his face in their pillows,the tips of his ears pink. Alec had never seen Magnus this... flustered.

 

Magnus’ words came quick, slightly muffled by the pillow “By lilith, Alexander, I’m so sorry, I-i can leave if you’re uncomfortable I-I understand complet-“

 

“Mags, look at me” Alec said cutting Magnus off and echoing what Magnus frequently told him. After a few moments Magnus’ eyes emerged from the pillow,albeit slowly. His cheeks, like his ears were a shade of pink and his face was a picture of shame and embarrassment. Alec couldn’t help but stare for a bit. It wasn’t everyday you saw the great Magnus Bane blushing.

 

“Magnus” Alec started, scooting closer to Magnus and tangling their legs. Alec’s breath hitched and he froze momentarily when his leg brushed against Magnus’ crotch, eliciting a strained groan from Magnus “sorry” Alec whispered embarrassed. Bringing a hand up he cupped the side of Magnus’ face, “I want to try something, with you, if you’ll let me” Magnus stared at Alec before his eyes flooded with realization

 

“Alexander are you saying..” Magnus trailed off and Alec nodded, dropping his gaze. Alec listened as Magnus sucked in a quick breath, “Just to be perfectly clear about what your saying, you want to test the waters in terms of sexual activities...with me?” Magnus asked in a disbelieving voice. Alec again nodded before clearing his throat

 

“Yes” he added as a verbal response, “I’ve thought about it and I’m ready Magnus” Alec said staring into those captivating eyes. Magnus looked suddenly apprehensive

 

“Alexander...” Magnus sighed heavily, “I know that you probably heard that I was um.. in quite the dream, uh, a moment ago but, please, please do not let that make you feel pressured. I was serious before, we can wait. What your saying..I- when we bring any type of sexual activity into this relationship, it’s going to change, regardless of what we do, so I need to know that you are 200% sure about this angel” Magnus said looking intensely at Alec. Alec shook his head giving a small smile, “Mags, I’m 200% sure of this, I know what I’m ready for. And of course, I don’t feel pressured, i never do. I-I just really do want this. With you” Alec said honestly. He silently applauded himself for getting though his sentences with the absence of stutters.Magnus’ eyes roamed his face for a moment, searching for any sign of uncertainty. He apparently didn’t find any because a moment later he slowly nodded.

 

“Ok” he said

 

Alec smiled, “ok”

 

Alec moved forward and captured his boyfriends lips in a slow sensual kiss, marveling at the feel of his boyfriends soft lips upon his, it was familiar but yet he would never get used to it. When Magnus’ tongue pushed softly against the seam of Alec’s lips asking for entrance, Alec opened his mouth willingly, letting Magnus’ tongue explore his mouth as he did the same. He wasn’t all that experienced at kissing but Magnus was and that’s all that mattered. As the kiss gained intensity he felt the overwhelming need for Magnus to be closer, so he slid on top of Magnus, not breaking their kiss for a second. Magnus’ hands immediately snaked under his shirt, rubbing up and down his back,leaving goosebumps in his trail. At this new angel he felt the full length of Magnus’ erection pressed against his inner thigh, just inches from his own, quickly hardening member and he couldn’t help the shiver that ran through him. Alec broke the kiss and littered Magnus’ face in tiny kisses before moving to his lovers sweet spot, tonguing and sucking and biting, eliciting moans and gasps and pants from Magnus.Alec was achingly hard now and he wanted- no, he needed pressure and friction in that certain area, so he rolled his hips against Magnus slowly. The feeling was so intense he let out a loud moan and dropped his head into the crook of Magnus’ neck, breathing in his intoxicating scent. That felt amazing. So he did it again, and again and again, over and over, Magnus meeting his movement until he was coming apart in Magnus’ arms. The feeling of his climax was something he couldn’t possibly explain but it was easily the greatest sensation he’d ever felt, his whole body tingled with pleasure. Magnus just held him the whole time, as he lied there, nestled into Magnus’ neck, waiting to come down from the impossible high he was on. He didn’t know if he’d drifted off or just how long he’d been lying there comfortably in Magnus’ arms, but, what ultimately brought him out of his post-orgasm fog was the sound of Magnus’ gravely voice in his ear

 

“Alexander angel?”

 

Alec smiled and hummed happily, snuggling impossibly closer to Magnus, “Alexander babe, was...was that ok..? “ Alec lifted his head, from the comfortable position on Magnus’ neck and stared down at his boyfriend slightly taken aback by the concern and vulnerability he heard and saw in his usually confident and self assured boyfriends voice and face. Alec stared down at his lover, a man that treated him with such immense care andrespect, that let Alec pave the way and go at his own pace in exploring his sexuality, Alec was suddenly he was overwhelmed with a cocktail of emotions and he began crying. Why? One might ask, he didn’t exactly know himself...he just felt extremely happy, overwhelmingly so. By the angel, he was totally and completely shitting on this beautiful moment with his stupid emotions,so he decided it’d be best to probably gather himself then come back.

 

“A-Alexander...?” He heard Magnus’ voice call, raw and full of emotions. Alec didn’t want Magnus to worry but he also couldn’t seem to form and convey sentences right now so, as much as it pained him to do so, he got out of Magnus’ embrace, scooted to the end of the bed and stood up.

 

“Can I just go get cleaned up? I’ll-I’m coming right back I promise” Alec said, waiting for some sort of response from his boyfriend. Instead of the answer he was expecting, Magnus opened his mouth and said something that by surprise and nearly broke his heart

 

“P-please don’t leave me”

             _______________

   

     Magnus fucked up. His stupid horny thoughts led him into only thinking with his dick and now they’d done something Alec regretted. Alec hadn’t said it yet but, Magnus was sure he did because there was no other reason or explanation as to why he would be _leaving_ Magnus..right after they’d done something so beautiful...after he’d come apart in Alec’s hands and Alec in his. They should’ve talked longer, by Lilith they should’ve waited longer. Maybe if he’d done something different, Alec wouldn’t be making his way off their bed, after just crying. Magnus felt his heart drop as Alec stopped and turned back around, saying something. Unfortunately, Magnus couldn’t hear what that something was over the loud sound of blood pumping in his ears and the words repeated over and over again in his head. please don’t leave me. please don’t leave me. please don’t leave me. not right now. Magnus didn’t realize that he’d said anything until Alec was suddenly wrapping his arms around him and whispering over and over “I’m not going anywhere” Well...that was embarrassing. Never did he like to present himself as weak or needy and he’d done just that.

 

“How about we, em,get cleaned up..shower together?” Alec suggested in a soft whisper after Magnus pulled back from their hug and Magnus couldn’t help but huff out a laugh. Alec had gotten quite brazen.

 

“Just shower” Alec added quickly, a blush coloring his pale cheeks

 

“Are you sure about that..?” Magnus said staring into Alec’s eyes. This was a step that would be important to Alec, he knew it, considering it would be the first time they saw each other without any sort of clothing

Alec cupped Magnus face, his intense blue eyes boring into Magnus’ golden ones

”Don’t worry, I want this. It’s just a shower” Alec said

Magnus sighed and nodded, “your right, just know that if you want you could take one in here and I in the guest room, if you ever feel an ounce of uncomfort” Magnus said before he lead Alec off of the bed and into his bathroom. He turned the shower to the right temperature before  swiftly undressing and stepping into the huge space. Once in he turned towards Alec who was staring Magnus body up and down, and held out a hand to him.

 

“Come on love” Magnus said, snickering lightly as Alec blinked almost comically and slipped out of his clothes quickly, not meeting Magnus’ eyes as he stepped under the water with Magnus.

 

Magnus couldn’t help but stare at Alec’s beautiful body, because by Lilith he truly was built by the gods “Beautiful “ Magnus whispered in awe, tilting Alec’s face up so he could see the words he had spoken. Magnus washed Alec slowly and carefully and Alec did the same to him. It was intimate yet platonic. Once they were both clean they dried off and got dressed, falling back into bed, their long limbs immediately tangling in each other.

“Magnus..I just want you to know, I don’t regret what we did at all. I’m elated that I was able to take that step with you and it was amazing, just..thank you so much it was amazing...you’re amazing” Alec said with a small smile tugging at his lips. Magnus felt all his doubts from earlier vanish and a broad smile bloomed on his face. 

“Thank you Alexander, I’ll never tire of hearing you say that, and sorry about earlier I just- it’s just...your not the only one who feels vulnerable” Magnus said truthfully. Alec snuggled closer and mumbled something sleepily that he couldn’t quite catch. It was still quite early in the morning and since it was Saturday it was fine for them to sleep in. Magnus couldn’t help the sleepy smile that etched onto his face as he let himself get pulled over the edge of unconsciousness.

As Alec was floating in a dreamless sleep, snuggled in Magnus’ arms, everything was perfect.

 

 

So perfect that he should’ve known it wouldn’t last, it never did for him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> “Falling. You see? We don't say ‘rising into love’. There is in it, the idea of the fall” - Alan Watts
> 
> The bed scene with Alec and Magnus isn’t just something random as much as it might seem that way, it’s all leading to something and though I suck at writing that type of stuff, it’s crucial to the story.
> 
> There is a lot of angst in your horizon.


	23. ..Must come down

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alec’s performance day. Angst angst and betrayal. Alec POV

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For those who don’t know the story of the phantom of the opera, here’s the summary it’ll help you understand a part of the story- https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Phantom_of_the_Opera

    The whole week had been going great until Wednesday hit. It was the day of his end of the year performance with Aline and Alec was nearly jumping with happiness. Part of it was due to performance excitement and part of it was due to his boyfriend. He found himself randomly humming love songs, smiling like a love sick idiot, and just overall...content, even when Magnus wasn’t around. He’d spent all weekend at Magnus’ loft and all of Monday with him, working with the kids then hanging out at the local ice cream place after. Thankfully Aline was just as thoroughly done as Alec was and agreed to taking a break over the weekend and Monday. She of all people knew how much Alec would miss Magnus when he had to come practice the dance over and over instead of hanging out with his beloved.

The weekend had been quite...eventful, successful, relaxing, exciting. He and Magnus mostly hung out at his loft, watching Netflix movies and shows while ordering in. Alec would admit, he had eaten quite unhealthily over the weekend when he was usually a healthy eater, but, it was all worth it because that meant more one on one time with Magnus. Their weekend was filled with explosive desire, endless cuddling and permanent smiles, it was truly their own little world that weekend, nothing else came close to mattering. That Wednesday morning Alec had gotten up around, 11am, later then his usual, but he wasn’t due for any classes that day so he decided it would be wise to rest up considering the eventful night ahead of him. He had a feeling it was going to be wonderful day when he checked his phone upon waking up and to his delight found a text from Magnus

 

 **Glitter Bane** 10:05am: Good morning love, I hope you slept well. I’ll drop by around 5 to check in before your show, which I know you’ll do great at. Have a wonderful day xx

 

Alec couldn’t help the sappy smile that pulled at the corners of his mouth. Even though the good morning texts had become some what of a ritual between Alec and Magnus whenever they weren’t able to stay over at each other’s houses, Alec still love waking up to them. He felt loved, cared about, just to think that he was important enough for someone to think about and text first thing in the morning always made his heart stutter. Alec had been going through his daily routine, started his day out with a workout, breakfast, coffee, than got all the stuff for his show and headed over to the school around 2. Everyone was there, all practicing hard for their group pieces while Alec and Aline worked on bits and bobs of their duet. They’d been working at it for so long that by then it was clockwork. When it rolled around to four they took a break to eat a light lunch,so that they didn’t pass out from starvation but also so they ate a decent enough time before their performance as to not throw up when it cam time to perform. Izzy and Jace visited around 4:30 to wish Alec good luck and to assure him that he would do great. He hated to admit it but, he still got extremely nervous whenever he was due for a performance in front of a large crowd, even after all this time, years of dancing. Around 5, as promised, he noticed his beautiful boyfriend peering into the room from the glass, eyes searching for Alec’s, and smiling once they locked, golden brown meeting ocean blue. Alec all but lost his breath. How can someone be that beautiful? He fought the urge to run over and leap into the welcoming arms and instead walked over calmly, like a normal human being. Though he could control his pace, what he couldn’t control was the stupid grin that wouldn’t stop tugging at the corner of his lips and the way his heart jumped in his throat when he finally reached Magnus and those strong tan arms wrapped around him. He buried his nose in the taller mans neck, breathing in his familiar, comforting scent, and sighing in contentment before pulling back, still keeping his arms looped loosely around Magnus’ shoulders.

 

“Hey” He said shyly, peering up at Magnus through his eyelash’s

 

“Hey” Magnus said back softly, leaning in and placing a soft kiss on his nose, causing Alec to scrunch it up and giggle. When Alec’s laughter ceased, he couldn’t help but notice the way Magnus was looking at him, it was the type of look that made a million butterflies burst in his stomach. He was looking at Alec like he had that weekend in bed...with such adoration and appreciation that Alec couldn’t help but be overwhelmed. That weekend...was the first time anyone had looked at Alec or his body-scars and all- like it was the most sacred thing they saw, like it was...beautiful. Never had he been looked at as something that mattered. Not until he’d met Magnus.

 

“What?” Alec all but whispered, a small smile still on his face as he averted his eyes from Magnus’ intense gaze. He could already feel the tips of his ears heating up from the attention.

 

“Nothing, just...appreciating my beautiful boyfriend” Magnus said nonchalantly, causing Alec to snort out a laugh.

 

“Ok..well, _I_ appreciate you coming” Alec said with a smile.

 

“I wouldn’t miss it for the world” Magnus whispered.

Alec was 100% sure that he looked sickeningly love struck standing there with Magnus but, he couldn’t bring himself to care. The rest of the world just melted away whenever they were together. They stayed like that, outside the dance room for minutes and minutes, until Aline came out and told Alec it was time for hair, makeup and costumes. Alec groaned butnodded an ok, kissing Magnus one last time before separating.

 

“ I’ll wait in the auditorium” Magnus said with a easy smile before turning and heading off. Aline shot him a apologetic look once they were back inside the dance room

 

“Sorry for ruining the moment” she said rubbing her neck embarrassed. Alec waved her off smiling

 

“It’s fine” Alec said with a reassuring smile before walking over to the costumerack and plucking his off. His costume was quite simple but mesmerizing, Black shimmering tights and shirt as well as a white mask that covered half his face, similar if not identical to the one the phantom wore. After slipping into his costume (everythingbut the mask) he walked over to his designated chair for hair and make up and sat down. In total it took 45 minutes or so for them to style his hair in a classy slicked down side part, his usual messy curls combed into submission with gel and hair spray. His make up was simple but effective, foundation, powder, dark eye make up. After they finished his makeup he got out of the chair and stretched before grabbing his mask and going to find Aline. They were the last performance so all they had to do was wait another 30 minutes or so while they watched the other performances. It was already 6:15 and Alec could hear classical music coming in from the auditorium which wasn’t far at all from the dance room. Alec breathed a sigh of relief when he finally found his best friend. She was sitting on the floor, the tool from her dance skirt pooling around her as she scrolled through her phone. Her silky black hair was twisted up in a updo and held with what looked like a crystal coated Barrett. She had gems lined from her temple to her cheek bone on each side. Her skin looked like smooth porcelain and her eye make up was a soft periwinkle color layered with other shades of blue and a glittery cream blueish purple in the center of her eye, finishing off with a solid black winged eyeliner. Her eye makeup went perfect with the tool in her skirt which was an assortment of different shades of blue and purple layered on top of each other and her leotard was black with a strapping design in the back and gems around the hem. Even Alec could see his best friend looked breath taking

 

“You ready?” Alec asked leaning against the wall closest to his partner. Aline looked up from her phone opening her mouth to say something but closing it immediately her eyes widening.

 

“Woah, Alec you look hot” Aline said with a proud smile causing Alec to choke on air. Thank the angel his blush wasn’t visible over the foundation and powder.

 

“Thanks Ali, as do you” Alec said with a chuckle when he finally composed himself he sat next to her, starting an easy conversation 

 

When it was finally 5 minutes before they had to go out they headed towards the backstage of the auditorium. They were almost there when Alec heard Magnus’ voice.

 

“You go in, I’ll be there in a bit” Alec said to Aline who shot him a knowing look before opening the door to backstage and disappeared. Alec followed the sound of his boyfriends voice until it was close enough for him to make out what he was saying, and that’s when instead of turning the last corner he froze.

 

Magnus wasn’t alone. In fact..he was with none other than Camille. He’d recognize that sickly sweet voice anywhere. Alec stayed hidden as he focused on what was being said

 

“So, you’re really serious about this boy toy huh...showing up to his event and everything!” Camille said in a mocking voice

 

“Who said I was serious?” Came Magnus’ voice, sounding bored. Alec furrowed his brow...it wasn’t serious to Magnus?

 

“Well... it’s a bit more than obvious Magnus” Camille said 

 

“Well, I am quite the actor” Magnus said with a chuckle before sighing, “I’m just having my fun Camille... you remember how to have fun, no?” Magnus said in a lighthearted voice. Alec couldn’t help but feel his heart clench. That’s all Alec was to him? Just..a fun time?

 

Alec was yanked out of his thoughts when he heard Camille burst into giggles, “Ah, I knew it! Ugh, you almost had me there, when I came to that shop and you spoke to me the way you did...but, I knew he’s nothing but a quick fuck, they always are for you” Camille said amusement clear in her voice, “So..you finally got into his pants huh?” Alec felt his heart stop as he held his breath. Magnus would never...he wouldn’t tell anyone what they did..he  _promised._ Alec waited for Magnus’ response but it never came.

Instead he heard Magnus sigh, “I shouldn’t have let him get so attached..the whole thing was a mistake truly” Alec felt tears well up in his eyes as he silently backed away. He couldn’t bear to hear anymore. White noise filled his ears as he all but stumbled away

_The whole thing was a mistake._

Was all that kept repeating in Alec’s mind. That’s what Magnus really thought. This whole time he’d been, what? Stringing Alec along? Acting like he cared about Alec when in reality he didn’t. Maybe he did it because he felt bad for Alec after his pathetic sob story, maybe because like he said..it was just fun. It honestly served him right for trusting someone so quickly. How naive of him. Alec blinked furiously to keep the tears at bay as he made his way backstage, so he wouldn’t ruin his makeup. He felt Aline’s concerned gaze on him but he ignored it, keeping his gaze forward. They were announced and Alec slipped his mask on.

Time to get into character, be a adult and not let this man break you Alec thought as they walked out to center stage taking their positions. The auditorium was packed but Alec was numb to it, all the previous nerves and worries just..gone. The familiar ominous chords of the song started and Aline broke off. She danced her part beautifully and Alec followed suit, they nailed their jumps,lifts, turns and spins. Everything went smoothly, and Alec let himself get pulled into the character of the phantom. He related all too much, to the character of the phantom. He was in love with the beautiful character of “christine”, but they weren’t in love with him and they never would be, merely because he was unlovable. It was sad but true. When they finished and the music faded out, everything was silent before he crowd erupted in cheers. Alec and Aline bowed together them made their way off stage. Once off stage Alec felt the emotions hit him all at once and all he wanted to do was burst out crying but he held it together, blinking away the tears and swallowing the lump in his throat.

”Alec-“ Aline started but Alec held up a hand. He knew he probably looked like how he felt but he just couldn’t talk about it right now. With that he turned and left the backstage area. Once back out in the hallway he was surrounded by audience members and sponsors alike. He talked for a good 20 minutes, getting business cards from great dance studios. After he was able to slip away he went and got changed out of his costume and into a oversized sweater and worn jeans, wiping off all the makeup with the makeup wipes he found on the makeup table. Once he was all done he grabbed his stuff and went back out into the hallway, to his delight he was almost immediately able to find Izzy and Jace. Izzy ran up to him and threw her arms around him, 

 

“That was amazing Alec! You and Aline looked so cool!” Izzy said before letting him out of her grip, “We sat with Magnus, he should be here any minu-“ Izzy stopped when Alec flinched quite visibly at the sound of Magnus’ name. She squinted and regarded her brother.

 

“Alec-“

 

“Can we go?”

 

“You don’t want to wait for Ma-“

 

“Jace,Iz,please can we just go”

 

He know he was pleading at this point but he didn’t care, he knew if he saw Magnus, he would give him the satisfaction of seeing that he’d broken him and he refused to let that happen. His siblings exchanged a look before nodding. Izzy grabbed his hand as they all walked to the exit through the dance wing. Once outside Alec took a deep breath of fresh air. He followed his siblings to Jace’s car and immediately got into the back, leaning his head against the window as the car moved into action. On the car ride over to Alec’s apartment his phone had gone off at least a dozen times,and after the third time he couldn’t help but check it.

 

Glitter Bane7:15- That performance was amazing angel! I was absolutely in awe. Also, good news is I finally got to talk to Jace and Izzy in person, and they’re truly wonderful. I know you’re probably swamped with sponsor talk so text me when your done, I was thinking we can celebrate? 

 

Glitter Bane 7:30- Alexander where did you go? 

**Glitter Bane**  7:35- Did you leave?

 

Alec closed his eyes as he felt the anger bubble up inside him. He chucked his phone into the opposite car seat, not even caring as he heard it slam into the car door. As soon as they pulled up to his apartment he jumped out, leaving his phone but taking his bag as he rushed into his building. He took the stairs instead of the usual elevator up purely because he wasn’t in the mood to wait for the elevator. Once at his door he let himself in and shut the door behind him, sliding down it as his legs finally gave out and he gave into the tears. It wasn’t long before he heard the pounding on his door

 

“Alec let me in it’s Izzy”

 

Alec sighed and wiped his face, leaning on he door to help him back into standing position before unlocking his door and opening it slowly. Izzy immediately came in and wrapped her arms around him.

 

“I’m here big brother, I’m here for you”

 

Alec felt his eyes fill up again and tears start to silently fall.

 

“When I was on- when I was on stage and I was thinking of...” Alec took a deep breath to try and keep the tears at bay, “I felt like I-I know, I know him though and I know that, and I know his heart and I know what he wouldn't do to hurt me...” Alec said pausing to wipe his tears, “but I didn't realize that I-I-I..feeling so confident feeling so great about myself and then it just be completely shattered..by one thing, by something so stupid” Alec said his voice getting thick with emotion.

 

“Alec.....” Izzy said, her voice taking on a concerned tint.

 

Alec sniffed as a new wave of tears slipped silently down his face, “but then it makes me feel crazy! like it's my fault. For trusting him, for letting him break down my walls- Iz” Alec said choking on a sob “I was in pain...“ Alec said his voice breaking as he finally gave into the tears and began crying all over again

 

“Oh Alec.. just tell me everything that happened” Izzy said, and so he did “He said that-that he shouldn’t have let me get so attached to him, Iz, that this whole thing was a mistake, but...” Alec trailed off and dropped his gaze, glaring at his hands, as the anger and hurt and betrayal festered in his chest “how can it be a mistake that I didn’t have the urge to run away when he held me? Or when we-“ Alec felt his eyes pool with tears and the lump in his throat grow, at the thought of the beautiful thing he and Magnus had done the other night, that amazing thing that they had shared. Something that had meant everything to Alec, but clearly nothing to Magnus, “But, Iz, love is not a mistake, and it’s killing me that he can run away from this and I just can’t– I can’t go out and find someone new because I’ll always think of him” Alec said feeling the tears finally drip down the bridge of his nose and onto his balled up hands “Usually, when I obsess over things, I see everyone hating me, or I see myself crushed by an endless succession of cars...” Alec sniffed and lifted his eyes again, fresh tears welling in his own, “And he was the first beautiful thing I ever got stuck on” Alec said as the tears spilled over, “I want to wake up every morning thinking about the way he holds his steering wheel..how he turns shower knobs like he's opening a safe—“ Alec cut himself off, running a hand through his already messy hair. He knew he sounded absolutely crazy but he’d fallen in love with those little things about Magnus over the past few months, “Now, I just think about who else could be kissing him” Alec said gasping through his tears as his heart sped up at the thought. He couldn’t help but think of Camille being that person,because maybe deep down Magnus still loved her, never gotten over her, “And Iz,  _I can’t breathe_ knowing they’ll only kiss him once —because they won’t care if it’s perfect...I want him so bad Iz..” Alec whispered, staring into his sisters brown eyes. And the sad truth was that he did, still want Magnus even though he’d hurt Alec. All he really wanted was to be wrapped in his strong embrace, and it was pathetic.

 

“Oh Alec..” Izzy said, “I’m sure what you heard wasn’t what it really was..Magnus would never do that to you” Izzy said her voice soft and concerned. Alec scoffed “Yeah well..that’s what I thought until I heard it first hand...I’m obviously not enough, never was..” Alec said bitterly glaring at nothing in particular. He would’ve never expected his day to take such a turn but apparently being happy just wasn’t in his cards.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feedback and comments a very much appreciated, what did you think? Also for you who will worry,don’t, all of this is working towards their unending happiness. It ties strongly into talk about Magnus’ past. I know it’s sucks but stay with me
> 
> For those who don’t know the story of the phantom of the opera- https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Phantom_of_the_Opera
> 
> Quotes used from OCD by Neil Hilborn and the intro of The heart wants what it wants by Selena Gomez


	24. But to feel nothing...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> No relationship is perfect, that’s the reality of it
> 
> ***HOMOPHOBIC SLURS WARNING****

      Magnus had a terrible feeling in his chest. It was 1 am and Alec hadn’t answered him back. It showed that he read them but hadn’t answered and the calls went straight to voicemail. That worried Magnus more than anything. Some might say Magnus was being over dramatic, worrying too much over an unanswered texts and calls but...it wasn’t like Alec to do this. So considering Magnus couldn’t sleep with thoughts of Alec on his mind, he threw off his blankets, threw on his slides, grabbed his keys and was on his way out. It didn’t take him long until he was in front of Alec’s building. He took a deep breath a knocked , his heart beating wildly in his chest. It took a few seconds until the door was being opened, revealing a tired looking Alec, his curls wild, falling across his forehead as he wore a long white sleeved shirt and black sleep pants. Magnus immediately sighed and relaxed, a smile making its way onto his face

 

“Alexander..your ok” Magnus exclaimed. He stepped towards Alec, arms extended with the intent of hugging him but stopped when Alec took a step back as he took his step forward. Magnus felt his heart drop as he took in the guarded expression on Alec’s face.

 

Magnus furrowed his brows “Alexander.. what’s-“

 

“Leave” Alec said, his voice harsh

 

Magnus stood there shocked and more then a bit hurt. Why was he telling him to leave? Just earlier, everything had been fine, perfect even. Now Alec looked like he couldn’t stand being near him.

 

“Why didn’t you answer any of my texts or calls?” Magnus asked in a soft voice, wanting so bad just to walk up and close the distance between them, to be close to Alec, wrapped in his scent but he stayed rooted. He didn’t know what was wrong but the last thing he wanted to do was scare Alec away.

 

Alec scoffed rolling those endlessly blue eyes, “Well in spite of what you might think I’m not your personal charity case, _slut_ who jumps when you say so” Alec spat crossing his arms and narrowing his eyes at Magnus.

Magnus felt as if he’d been slapped 

“What the fuck Alexander... Where did you- why would you say something like that?” Magnus said completely baffled, “you know I think the world of you” Magnus said exasperated. He was beyond baffled...why was Alec saying these things

 

Alec threw his hands up and walked further away from Magnus, “Come on Magnus, I heard your conversation with Camille you can drop the act now”

 

Magnus felt his heart stop as he stood there, dread slowly filling him. How did he possibly hear their conversation “You heard-Alexander...what you heard it-wasn’t real” Magnus said trying to keep the panic out of his voice as he stepped closer to Alec slowly. The conversation with Camillein Julliard earlier had single handedly ruined his mood.

 

*flash back*

 

Magnus had stepped out of the auditorium for a quick second to go use the bathroom. He’d just stepped out when he bumped directly into someone.

 

“I’m sor-“ Magnus cut himself off when he met eyes with none other than Camille, “What the hell Camille. Why are you here” Magnus asked narrowing his eyes at the blonde before him. Camille rolled her eyes and crossed her arms, her famous fake smile perfectly in place

 

“Come on Magnus, that’s no way to greet a lover” she said tutting

 

Magnus shook his head and sighed, “I’m not doing this with you” he said moving to walk around her when he was stopped by her tight grip on his arm. His nose was filled with the nauseating scent of her perfume.

 

“Oh yes you are” Camille said, her voice losing all the false sweetness. There she is Magnus couldn’t help but think, “Or at least, you will, if you want to keep daddy off of your case that is” she said making Magnus stomach twist into a million knots.

 

“Let go of me Camille” Magnus said, his voice hard and demanding. She did, albeit reluctantly and Magnus stepped away, putting a good distance between them, “Ok I’ll bite..what do you mean”

 

Camille smirked and started twirling a piece of her perfectly wand curled hair, “Well, since you asked so nicely, I was just thinking of letting papa bane know a little bit about his favorite sons current activities, you know, dating a man and all..I’m sure he’ll be so pleased to hear your still going through this childish phase-“

 

“That won’t be necessary” Magnus said carefully making sure all of the fear was out of his voice despite his heart being ready to beat out of his chest. Back when he and Camille were together and Magnus was totally and completely in love with her, they’d gone and she helped him seek out his father, to get closure and maybe start a relationship again. His father was more than pleased to see Magnus dating a girl, his exact words being “I’m glad you finally came to your senses, no son of mine is a faggot”

They had a talk and Magnus tried for a little bit to have a relationship with his father but, he eventually realized that he didn’t want one. He didn’t need anymore toxic people in his life and his father was just that. Asmodeuswas still extremely biphobic, homophobic, and a barbaric person. They had a huge fight and ultimately ceased talking and that was that. Magnus should have known that Camille would use it against him even now. She would always use his mother’s suicide and fathers abuse to taunt him while they were together and now she was doing it again. He could take it, he could, but Alec can’t. He knows his father, and he knows that his father would raise hell, upon hearing of Magnus and Alec’s relationship. He would go out of his way to ruin any chance Alec has of a dance career and Magnus couldn’t bear to see that happen. So he made a choice right then and there. The only reason Camille was doing this was because she saw how much Magnus truly cared for Alec so, why not make her think other wise.

 

“Your really going to go out of your way,so all of that,for some fling of mine? Come on Camille” Magnus said forcing himself to relax and appear aloof. Camille looked at him skeptically

 

“I’m not stupid Magnus, your probably just trying to protect him right now” Camille said squinting at Magnus, “So, you’re really serious about this boy toy huh...showing up to his event and everything!” Camille said in a mocking voice

 

“Who said I was serious?” Magnus said, trying his best to sound bored

 

“Well... it’s a bit more than obvious Magnus” Camille said stepping closer to Magnus. It took everything in him to not take ten steps back from her or even take off running. He stayed exactly where he was so he could make this believable. Forcing a playful smirk onto his lips he reached for Camille’s hand, her cold fingers so unlike Alec’s.

 

“Well, I am quite the actor” Magnus said with a chuckle before sighing, “I’m just having my fun Camille... you remember how to have fun, no?” Magnus said in a lighthearted voice. He could tell Camille was slowly coming around, believing

 

Camille gave him a assessing stare before bursting into giggles. It sounded like nails on a chalk board to Magnus but he forced himself to smile as she stepped even closer to him, “Ah, I knew it! Ugh, you almost had me there, when I came to that shop and you spoke to me the way you did...but, I knew he’s nothing but a quick fuck, they always are for you” Camille said amusement clear in her voice, “So..you finally got into his pants huh?” All Magnus wanted to do was push this monster away, because even if he was putting up the pretense of not caring about Alec, he did, and he would never,ever tell anyone about what they did. Something so sacred came with trust and Magnus would be damned if he broke that trust just to get Camille off his back, so instead he opted for humming suggestively before letting out a sigh, “I shouldn’t have let him get so attached.. the whole thing was a mistake truly” Magnus said finishing

 

“I agree” Camille said before walking around Magnus, making sure to brush against him, “well, I guess we’ll be seeing each other around then” was all she said before she was gone. Magnus waited a couple more minutes to make sure she was gone before bolting towards the auditorium. He felt terrible about all those things he’d said about Alec because they couldn’t be further from the truth but..it that meant saving Alec from the wrath of his father, he’d do it all again. Besides, what he doesn’t know wouldn’t hurt him right?

 

*flash back end*

 

“What do you mean it wasn’t real Magnus? That doesn’t make any sense” Alec said with less anger and more confusion. Magnus sighed and sat down on the newer couch, putting his head in his hands. His mind was spinning. How was he supposed to explain this? Alec wasn’t supposed to even know about this exchange.

“Well” Magnus started apprehensively “I can’t exactly tell you..I’m really sorry angel-“

Alec scoffed angrily and shook his head “Don’t call me that. Of course you can’t tell me the reason because there is no reason. Just leave Magnus I can’t do this with you anymore”

What did Alec mean by that? That he couldn’t do this with Magnus anymore? Magnus felt helpless, like he trying desperately to tread water only to be slowly drowning anyway “What do you mean you can’t do this? Alexander, hey don't do that, don't pull away from me. Okay I want us to be together”

 

“Bullshit” Alec spat “You never wanted that, I was just too stupid to see it”

Magnus shook his head but didn’t say anything. All the words were getting caught in his throat. It was only when Alec went to turn away did the words burst out

 

“Alexander please, you have to believe me, Camille, she means nothing. That stuff I said couldn’t have been further from the truth, I want you and only you, I care about you. I don’t want anyone else. I don’t even look at anyone else. But I need you to trust me Alexander, just this onc-“

 

“I refuse to let another man take advantage of my trust, I did it once and look how well that turned out. Please just be a decent human being and leave. I can’t take it anymore your hurting me”

 

Magnus felt his heart squeeze painfully at those words, “Alexander, I’m not Sebastian, you know I would never try to hurt you, not on purpose”

 

Alec whirled around jabbing a finger at Magnus, “Don’t you dare. All you did was fill my head with lies that I actuallystarted to believe- You said I was great! You said I could be great! You acted like we were destined to be together, like you cared about me and that I was worth saving! You said it to my family, you said it to me and I wish you never had because you did not mean any of it!!!” Alec all but screamed, his chest rising and falling quickly as he pressed the his trembling hand against his mouth briefly before running it through his hair . Magnus was standing there utterly shocked. He’d never meant for Alec to hear any of that..those lies that he’d told Camille to make her leave Alec’s dancing career alone. And he’d be damned if he didn’t fight for the love of his life. That’s exactly what he was about to do when suddenly Isabelle came bolting around the corner, her hair in a messy ponytail and makeup absent from her face, she stopped directly in front of Alec, bringing his face in her hands so that his eyes were on her. She whispered something to him quietly and hugged him before he turned and rushed around the corner, his blue eyes in a downcast. All Magnus wanted to do was chase after Alec but Izzy came right up to Magnus.

 

“Magnus,you need.to.leave” She said before grabbing his arm softly and walking with him to the door,opening it and nudging him out.

 

“Isabelle please..you don’t understand I- I can’t breath without him” Magnus said his voice breaking as the lump in his throat grew, “I didn’t- I love Alexander”

 

Izzy looked at him sympathetically and nodded solemnly, “I know you do Magnus, believe me, but he’s in pain Magnus, you hurt him really bad, whether you meant to or not. And by being here your hurting him even more.I know it was an accident but he needs time Magnus..just give him time” Izzy said before closing the door, leaving Magnus in the hallway alone.

 

He couldn’t help but feel he’d just messed up the best thing that had ever come into his life.

 

****************

Alec was lying on his bed staring at the wall when Izzy walked back in, sitting down on the edge of his bed

 

“He’s gone” she said

 

“Thanks Iz” he mumbled, closing his eyes. He knew that he should feel happy because thats what he asked for but...he couldn’t help but feel extremely sad. After a few moments passed by Alec opened his eyes again and looked towards his sister, “Why am I never the one Iz?... I-I try so hard and I’m never the one. Never the one anyone picks, or wants to be with”

 

“Alec..” Izzy started, “Thats not true, you are the one for Magnus, and he’s the one for you, you’ve just gotta hear him out hermano” Izzy said reaching down to stroke his face. Alec sighed

 

“I know Iz I know- but, even though there’s a part of me who feels like Magnus would never do this, another part of me is telling me that in reality,I’ve only known this guys for two months, and it was around this time in my relationship with Sebastian thathe started to show his true colors and back then.. I was dumb enough to stay- I will not make the same mistake” Alec said sighing

 

Izzy shook her head sadly, “ I know big brother, but Magnus made you happy.. he made you feel things I could tell”

 

“I’m tired of _feeling_ , because right now I’d rather feel nothing, it’s better-easier” Alec said softly, “‘M going to sleep gnight Iz” Alec said before turning away from his sister. He waited until he heard her footsteps depart to let out a small sob into his pillow.

 

Yeah, feeling nothing sounds great right about now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feedback and comments are always appreciated  
> What did you think? Will Alec believe Magnus? What will it take..
> 
>  
> 
> Also did anyone catch the OTH quote? If so, good on you :)


	25. What a waste

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **TRIGGER WARNING**  
> **TRIGGER WARNING**
> 
> Magnus’ past  
> Angst turned Fluff

_Magnus unlocked the door to his parents apartment. His home. It was a small two room apartment but it was indeed home. He’d been so excited to come home, ran all the way there from the bus stop. His school was adding dance to their curriculum and Magnus was old enough to join._ _“Mama? Mama where are you?” Magnus called dropping his book bag as he scoured the small apartment. It didn’t take long for him to notice the light coming from the slightly opened door in his parent room considering the size of the apartment, and he made his way to it. He pushed open the door slowly._

_“Mama? Mama-“ Magnus stopped when he saw his moms lifeless body hanging there from the ceiling. Magnus heart took off beating as he walked further into the room, he touched his mother’s leg shaking it lightly. Why was she so cold? Why was she up there? Why wasn’t she moving? Magnus mind races with a million questions “Mama? Mama come down please I have good news” he said tears starting to prickle his eyes when no answer came. He was about to try again when his fathers voice sounded behind him._

_“Goddammit...you’ve really done it now Magnus- move! Get out!” His father screamed pushing his tiny frame away from his mother forcefully. Magnus didn’t want to go but he was scared and confused and so he did what he was told and ran out of the room. The door closed behind him and all he could hear were his fathers soft sobs....._

 

 

Magnus shot straight up in his bed breathing heavily. He looked around disoriented before relaxing. It was just a nightmare. A bad memory that decided to replay itself in his unconscious state. Magnus shook his head, hitting his bedding angrily. What was happening to him? What was he doing to himself. He hadn’t had a nightmare about his mother’s suicide since before therapy. Years ago. Guess it was time to call up his old therapist and make an appointment. He sighed and ran a hand through his hair as he stood up from his bed and started walking to his bathroom. It was a Friday so that meant he would get to see Alec. Yesterday had been hell without as much as a call from Alec. The day had passed agonizingly slow as he did his best to do what Isabelle told him to do, give Alec time. But he was going mad knowing Alec was hurting and he couldn’t do anything to help. He finished his shower, savoring the spray of the hot water and the steam that cleared his head, and then got dressed, made coffee and started making his way to the studio. His hope was that Alec would come to teach the classes today as per usual and he would be able to talk to him. Magnus had been fighting with himself all of yesterday, about whether he should tell Alec about the context behind his conversation with Camille and he decided that he should. If that’s what it took to get Alec back he’d do it. He’d do just about anything. He pulled up to the studio and made his way inside, saying a quick hi to Ragnor and Cat before making his way to the dance room. To his delight he was the first one there so he decided to get stretched while he waited for Alec. As he began his usual stretch routine he couldn’t help his mind from drifting to his last encounter with Asmodeus

 

***flash back***

Magnus bolted up from his seat with such force it fell backwards “You weren’t there! You were never fucking there! She left! I was ten years old! _Ten_ , taking care of myself. I was in 5th grade, dragging my ass to school, eating where I could when I could because you refused to feed me! I did that! Not you. I was the one who had to endure your drunken rages, be your punching bag, and go to school the next day. I was the one who had to be in and out of foster homes when the CPS took me away from you” Magnus screamed wanting nothing more then to wipe that bored look off of Asmodeus’ face, “You don’t just decide when you want to be a father. I mean why even have kids if you can’t stick by them when shit falls apart especially when your the fucking reason-“ Magnus was cut short when he felt a slap so hard it brought him to the floor. He quickly stood back up, staring at his father with wide eyes as he cradled his cheek, the metallic taste of blood entering his mouth. Asmodeus was seething much like he used to during his drunken rages and it froze Magnus in place. Even with Magnus being taller than him and asmodeus with a cane he felt like the little boy he was back then.

 

“Now listen here boy, you can come in here and mouth off about how I abused you- which is bullshit- but I will not let you for a second try and blame me for your mother’s suicide. We both know she did that because she couldn’t stand the thought of giving birth to such a disappointment. A _bitch_. She could tell, hell everyone could, with your dancing and infatuation with girly shit, she was ashamed of you. As am I ” He said, his voice low and sharp. Magnus shook his head slowly a wry chuckle passing his lips

“You don’t give a shit about me..you don’t give a shit about me because you don’t have to. I don’t have to do this. Not anymore. I’m not a scared little boy anymore and I’m not your punching bag” Magnus said before turning on his heel and storming out of the house, going straight to his car. He slammed the door once he was inside, hitting the steering wheel angrily as a few hot tears leaked out of his eyes. Why did he ever think this would be a good idea. He turned the key, staring his car up and speeding off, getting as far away from Asmodeus as possible.

***flash back end***

 

Magnus was broken from his memories when Alec walked in. He was halfway in when he spotted Magnus and froze. It was clear on Alec’s face that he was contemplating running out of he room so Magnus cleared his throat and stood, making his way over to Alec, making sure to leave enough space between them as to not make Alec uncomfortable.

 

“Can we talk please?” Magnus said softly

 

Alec shook his head, “No” Alec said, “I found out who you really are and now your trying to backtrack. No.”

 

“ Alexander can we please just.. not fight” Magnus said sighing and sitting back down

 

“Maybe I wanna fight” Alec said crossing his arms and looking pointedly at Magnus

 

“Well I don’t!” Magnus said throwing his hands up in frustration before burying them in his hair, tugging at the ends as his elbows rested on his knees “Your so messed up..” Magnus whispered to himself, absentmindedly as he felt the hurt tears well in his eyes. He wanted to tell Alec about his past, he did,but he just couldn’t, he could bear Alec looking at him in disgust or contempt after learning about his past.

 

“Yeah? I don’t need you to take care of me. I take care of myself” Alec said angrily, “Why don’t you, just-go find some other guy who’s going to be what you want”

 

“You are what I want Alexander!” Magnus said shooting to his feet, “Why don’t you get that”

 

“Because I know what I heard Magnus! And now I know, that, every time we kissed...every time you _held_ me-“

 

“It was _real_!”Magnus protested

 

“No it’s not- No it’s _not_!” Alec said before sighing heavily and shaking his head, eyes trained on the ground

 

“ _God_ , Alexander why won’t you believe me?” Magnus said exasperated. He was doing his best- trying his best but he didn’t know how else to fix this “I need you to stop pushing me away, Alexander, I care about you,so much, I dont know how else to say it” Magnus said wearily

 

“How about how you show it!” Alec said exasperated, “Im not pushing you away Magnus, i am _holding_ on for dear life, but i need you to need me back! Why wouldnt you tell me what you and Camille were talking about? And why wont you tell me about your past? Why wont you just let me all the way in!” Alec said his eyes filling with angry tears. Magnus sat up staring at Alec

 

“My past? Wha- where did that eve- why does that even matter right _now_?” Magnus asked, his heart beating painfully in his chest

 

“It matters because, I, barely know anything about you and you know nearly everything about me Magnus. I’ve had time to think yesterday and I realized that you’ve been keeping me at a distance. If you really care about me, and you really want this to work? You’ll tell me right now, what Camille said or-or threatened you with to make you say those..things about me. Because I swear to Raziel Magnus, if you give me another bullshit excuse I’m walking out of here and we are done” Alec said with finality. Magnus couldn’t breathe. He would tell Alec about Camille, that wasn’t a problem...the problem was he wasn’t ready for Alec to find out all of the terrible ugly details of his past, and he knew, that as soon as he told Alec that Camille had threatened to get his father on Alec, he would immediately start asking questions about Asmodeus and- he was no where near ready for that conversation. His inner battle was interrupted by a heavy sigh from Alec

 

“I’m just going to go Magnus-“

 

“No! Don’t-please” Malec said shooting to his feet again, “Camille was threatening to get my father to ruin your dance career, that’s why I said that, I-I said it because I knew that she was only coming after you because of how much I care, about you, so the only way was to make her believe I didn’t care at all” Magnus rushed to say, his words jumbling together as they spilled out. Alec visibly froze and stared at Magnus, confusion written all over his face

 

“Magnus..that- what? I know Camille could probably cut me with her words but, words are words and there’s no way in hell she could take my dance career from me. Not by herself. So I’m assuming your father? Is the one you feared in this? Enough to go that far?” Alec asked Magnus, visibly trying to make sense of the situation. Magnus sighed and started pacing distractedly

 

“Well yes..” he said slowly

 

Alec gave him a assessing look, his left eye squinting lightly, “What exactly would your fath-“

 

“Alec!”

 

Both Alec and Magnus were torn from their intense conversation when Madzie came bolting in, indicating that classes were starting. Magnus watched as Alec smiled and bent down, picking Madzie up when she finally made it over, and spinning her in a circle

 

“Madzie, my favorite little sorcerous” Alec said in a adoring tone.

 

The rest of the kids trailed in, the room filling with idle chatter and Magnus sighed. Guess their conversation would be put on hold until lunch.

 

*****

 

The day had ended up being so busy that they didn’t have time to stop and eat a small lunch, so that by the time the last class came to an end, they were both hungry and drained.

 

“Alexander, can we just...grab a bite to eat and finish our talk?” Magnus asked. Alec nodded slowly before following Magnus our to his car. The drive to Takis was quiet and tense. Magnus hated it so much. He hated that Alec felt like he had to doubt him or their relationship because of something he said. They pulled up to the restaurant, making their way inside, hands not touching and a safe distance between them. They sat down at their regular table and it was silent for a while. A heavy blanket of tension hanging over them before Alec cleared his throat loudly, drawing Magnus’ attention.

 

“Look Magnus...I believe you” Alec said softly, “I-I know I’m probably not the most trusting person but I do care about this relationship and you and..I don’t want to fight either. I do think you should’ve come to me and talked with me about what Camille said before making a decision, especially since it directly involves me, but, I wanna hear you out” Alec said

 

Magnus let our a breath he didn’t know he’d been holding, a small smile forming on his face as he nodded, “ok”

 

“ I’ve got to ask though, what would Camille say to your dad to make him jeopardize my dance career? I mean he doesn’t even know me” Alec questioned reaching across the table and covering Magnus’ hand with his own. Magnus’ heart flipped at the familiar touch and he sighed. It was now or never..

 

“Well..that wouldn’t matter. What matters to my father is that I- a bisexual man, is dating a man not a women. To him everything is Black and white, men marry women. Um, my father, he, um, is extremely biphobic and homophobic and.. well if he found out I was dating you..he might just raise hell. He has connections with some very bad people and I wouldnt be able to live with myself if any of those people came for you because of me” Magnus said staring down at their hands. A beat passed and Alec didn’t say anything, Magnus was starting to worry. Had he messed it up? Would Alec break up with him because of all the shit that came with knowing him? Suddenly Alec’s hand wasn’t on his anymore and he was standing up. Magnus looked up at him, his heart racing in his chest. This was it. Instead of turning and walking away like Magnus had expected, he came around their table and slid into the booth with Magnus, turning so they were opposite of each other, their knee touching.

 

Alec reached and grasped both of Magnus’ hands in his own “Magnus?” Alec started in a serious tone. Magnus held his breath slightly, “yes?”

 

Alec’s blue eyes were boring into his golden brown ones, looking clouded with thought. He watched as his boyfriend bit his lip in contemplation before opening his mouth, “Mags..weren’t you in foster care at a young age? I mean before you got adopted by Raphael’s parents?” He asked slowly. Magnus averted his gaze, swallowing and clearing his throat before nodded.

 

“Yes, I was...why?” He asked trying to keep his voice as steady as possible

Alec probably sensed his discomfort because he flipped Magnus’ hands over and started rubbing soothing circles on his wrist, “well, I was just wondering how your father would still have connections with you, yknow? Like know that your still in Brooklyn and stuff” Alec said surveying Magnus

 

Magnus let out a sigh, “Back when I was with Camille she encouraged me to go find him, yknow like reach out and contact him...and so I did. Lets just say it didn’t end well. Essentially it was a flop and we don’t talk anymore” Magnus finished lamely, “Camille and I broke up during that all so, I assume that she didn’t know we stopped talking” Magnus said, his voice tight as he remembered the fight they had that ended their relationship

 

“Hey,” Alec said breaking him from his thoughts before he could get to deep, “Let’s go home”

 

 

****

 

Alec woke up slowly, blinking a couple times before smiling. Magnus’ makeup free sleeping face was mere inches away from his. After they had gotten home they’d talked until the early morning about everything and nothing at once. They’d both apologized numerous times and slowly the tension had faded until there was none at all, Alec ultimately ended up convincing Magnus, to hell with Camille and that they’d deal with whatever was to come their way together. Alec was essentially wrapped around Magnus, his arm thrown over his boyfriends caramel torso that was taunt with muscle as his legs tangled in Magnus’ also. He didn’t know how long he’d been laying there silently admiring his lover when he was finally stirring. His eyes slowly fluttered open and focused on Alec. He loved being this close to Magnus, close enough to see the intricate specks of olive green mixed in with the golden brown that was looking more amber in the morning light.

 

“G’mornin’” Alec whispered through a smile that he couldn’t stop from coming onto his face. Magnus’ lips curved into a small adorable smile as he stared into Alec’s blue eyes

 

“Good morning beautiful” he whispered back before leaning in to capture Alec’s lips in a slow kiss. Alec sighed contentedly into it. What he would give to wake up to this everyday. As if Magnus read his mind he pulled back from their kiss just enough to look into Alec’s eyes again

 

“I know it’s only been like..a day, but I’ve missed this so much, I couldn’t sleep much at all without you” Magnus whispered softly. Alec sighed and closed his eyes, dropping his forehead against Magnus’, breathing in his intoxicating scent.

 

“Me too...by the angel we must be he biggest idiots ever” Alec said breathing out a laugh

 

“Idiots in love” Magnus said without missing a beat

 

Alec’s eyes shot open and he pulled back from Magnus, enough to see him fully. Magnus’ eyes were wide like he didn’t mean to say it. But he did. And that was something Alec couldn’t unhear, so he pushed out the first coherent sentence that came to mind

 

“You love me?”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Communication is key
> 
> Me? Posting three uploads only days apart? Pft seems I’ve gotten my groove back for this story.  
> So what do you think of Magnus’ impromptu confession? How will Alec react? Will he run to love or away from it
> 
> Loads of references and  
> a OTH quote, see if you can find them ;)


	26. Achilles Heel

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pillow talk

“Alexander I-“ Magnus averted his gaze stopping himself. By Lilith, he was really dumb to have let those words fall out but, at the same time it wasn’t like they weren’t true. He did love Alec, with all of his being, even more so as he lay the with messy curls and bright blue sleepy eyes. So instead of brushing the comment off with a witty remark or change the subject like he was going to do, he took a deep breath and met Alec’s curious gaze again, nodded slowly, “Yes, Alexander..I-I love you” Magnus said in the most confident way he could

 

By Lilith, he’d never felt so much like a love sick teen in his life

 

***

 

Magnus loved him. Magnus..loved Alec. Alec felt a wave of happiness flow over him.

 

“Look-Alexander, I know it might be too soon and I,don’t expect you to say it ba-“

Alec cut Magnus off with a passionate messy kiss. It wasn’t long, considering it was hard for Alec to kiss when he was smiling uncontrollably. When he pulled back he brushed his nose against Magnus’ in an Eskimo kiss

 

“I love you too you idiot” Alec said, meaning for it to come out teasing but instead it came out soft and adoring. Magnus was staring at him, his eyes wide and his mouth slightly open

 

“You-you do?” Magnus questioned in a breathless unbelieving tone

 

Alec pretended to think about it before bursting into happy giggles, pushing Magnus’ chest playfully, “of course I do Mags..I’ve known it since the day we were driving in your car and you looked over and smiled. All you did was smile but it...did something to me, made me insanely happy instantly- i- by the angel I’m being a total sap right now” Alec said feeling his face heat up as he realized he probably sounded like a love struck teen, burying his head in the pillow below him he groaned in embarrassment. It was quiet for a beat before Alec’s urge to see Magnus overpowered his embarrassment and he brought his face out of hiding, turning to his beautiful boyfriend again, only to find him staring right back. The way he was looking at Alec...it was like Alec was basking in the sun, the amount of..adoration, happiness,and love, in his boyfriends gaze gave him goosebumps and rendered him speechless and made him blush immensely. Alec smiled and shoved Magnus’ bare shoulder playfully

 

“Hey why are you looking at me like that?” He asked

 

Magnus feigned surprise, “like what?”

 

“Like _that_ ” Alec said gesturing with his hand to Magnus’ face. Magnus chuckled and pulled Alec impossibly closer, his warm skin heating up Alec’s.

 

Magnus leaned in and planted a chaste kiss on Alec’s lips before pulling back and looking straight into Alec’s eyes “I fell in love with you the way you fall asleep, slowly then all at once” Magnus whispered, stroking Alec’s cheek

 

“John Green” Alec said with a small smile

 

Magnus’ smile broadened and Alec let his eyes flutter shut, basking in the warmth of the moment. Lying there with Magnus, he couldn’t be happier. Someone loved him the way he loved them and it was arguably the best feeling ever. Alec didn’t know why, but a thought suddenly came to his mind and he asked him

 

“Mags..what are you afraid of?” Alec asked in a soft voice. They were mere inches apart so their conversation so far had consisted of whispers and soft spoken sentences. There really was no need to talk louder then that when they were so close. Magnus sighed and rolled onto his back, a contemplative look on his face.

 

“Acid wash jeans” he said after a while. Alec took in Magnus’ face of disgust at even the thought of..acid wash jeans? apparently? Alec was silent for a second trying his best to hold in his laughter

 

“Hey, I’m being serious” Alec said even though his tone held no heat to it. Magnus sighed a sobered, his face looking afar away with thought

 

“Alexander.. I know that it may seem like I’m keeping you at a distance but, you have to understand I went through hell during my childhood, and I’ve never seen what bringing up the past has helped. You have to understand that... I know what it’s like to have a mom who’s different and isn’t there for you I know what it’s like to go to school everyday and pretend there’s not a problem when there is...and anxiety. Life was pain for me, I woke up every morning in pain, I went to school in pain. Do you know how many times I wanted to just give up? How many times I’ve thought about ending it all?” Magnus whispered sadly before sighing and continuing, “My past isn’t pretty Alexander and- I love you, I do, and I’m sorry if it seems like I’m keeping you at a distance but, I’m scared that you’ll leave me when you find out..” Magnus said trailing off, “Camille always said the fear of loneliness was my Achilles' heel” Magnus said softly

 

Alec furrowed his brow, absorbing all that as told to him. He looked over at his boyfriend who was staring absently at the ceiling and he scooted closer, throwing his arm around Magnus’ bare torso and placing his head on his chest, just above his heart

 

“I won’t leave you Magnus. All I want to do is get to know you, let me in, I want to know you” Alec said softly as he rubbed tiny circles over the flesh on Magnus hip. Magnus’ fingers were tracing patterns on Alec’s bare back, causing goosebumps to ripple across his skin

 

“You do know me” Magnus countered

 

“Parts of you,” Alec said back, not missing a beat, “but guess what Magnus, I wanna know everything about the guy I’m with, the good and the bad, that’s what love is. I need you to trust me” Alec said lifting his head to catch his lovers eye. Magnus face was contemplative, his brow slightly furrowed as his eyes searched Alec’s face. After a moments Magnus brought his hand up to cup Alec’s cheek

 

“What do you want to know?”

 

***

 

Magnus was internally freaking out. He wasn’t prepared for Alec to leave him, after he’d just gotten him back. He loved Alec and he knew that he was a good person but, every single one of his past lovers had either left,treated him different, or straight up used it against him once they learned the gory details. Long story short, he always regretted it. He was scared as hell but he also wanted to prover Alec that he did trust him, especially when Alec had told him about Sebastian, back when they’d known each other a mere week. It was the least he could do. So he asked Alec what he wanted to know,an open ended question. Alec was staring at him with those big bright blue eyes looking almost shocked at what Magnus had said

 

“I don’t know...Mags, just tell me what your comfortable telling me. I just want to know more about you” Alec said

 

Magnus sighed, “Well, um, after my mom committed suicide-“ he felt Alec jerk and he looked down. Alec was looking up at him his eyes wide

 

“Your mom committed suicide? Magnus..I didn’t know that..” Alec said. Magnus sighed and nodded, giving Alec a sad smile

 

“Yeah, she was depressed and with that on top of my dads abuse, I guess she ultimately couldn’t take it. I was-was the one who found her and my dad always blames me. For a while I thought it was my fault, that maybe having me ruined everything, but, after years of therapy I know it wasn’t. I don’t blame my mom for leaving, I mean her life was hell” Magnus said before stoping and taking a deep breath, “well, uh, after that I was with my dad for a year, before a school official reported the bruises and I got taken by the CPS and thrown into foster care. During that year with my father though, he, turned his rage towards me. He starved me, beat me, called me every degrading thing you could think of- it was...bad” Magnus said focusing his gaze on the ceiling and shaking his head slowly, “foster care wasn’t much better..at all, I was in and out of homes, after a while I lost hope for being adopted, because every time I thought I’d find a good family they would either give me up or turn out to be terrible people. The first family I had been sent to were good people..at least until they found I liked both boys and girls, they gave me up shortly after. My next family wasn’t as nice..the dad was uh, into little boys” Magnus said with a wry chuckle, swallowing dryly before continuing, “the next family was even worse, uh, their son hated me, bullied me in school. And by Lilith it was already difficult switching from school to school all the time. Almost every school I went people would judge me for my sexuality, looks or over the top personality. One school I went to these kids would say my eyes were creepy, that they were resemblance of a cats. On top of that I wore huge glasses. It really sucked after a while because it was everyday, constantly being told that there was something wrong with me. I was never enough. Never enough for a family or people at school. I’ll save you the gory details but let’s just say that by the time I was 13 I had experienced things no kid should. But, Raph and his parents took me in and taught me to trust again. Too bad that’s around the time I started dating, I trusted easily, and it was good for awhile, only minor break ups and stuff but then I met Camille and we’ll, you know how that went” Magnus said with a cringe, “But overall, I am grateful for Raph and his family because without them I wouldn’t be the man I am today” Magnus said finally ending his short summary of his life. He hadn’t told Alec the gory details but it was enough. Well he hoped it was enough. Magnus was broken from his thoughts when he felt something wet on his chest. He broke his gaze from the ceiling and looked down at Alec, surprised to find his eyes filled with tears, some making their way out of his eyes and dripping onto Magnus’ chest

 

“Hey angel, why are you crying” Magnus said in a worried voice, brushing a few tears away from Alec’s face with the pad of his thumb. Instead of answering Alec pulled Magnus into a slow kiss. The salty taste of Alec’s tears entering his mouth.

After breaking the kiss Alec kept his forehead on Magnus’

 

“I am so sorry you had to go through any of that, you deserved so much better” Alec said with dad eyes, “I’m so glad that you found Raphael and his family. Thank you so much for telling me-for trusting me enough to do so. I love you so much” Alec said

 

Magnus smiled, his heart fluttering for a bit at Alec’s words, “You don’t want to run for the hills?” Magnus said in a joking tone, even though he really was afraid. Alec looked at him as if he’d just proposed the craziest idea, “No! Of course not. I love all of you, including your past nothing has changed. I love your eyes, they’re beautiful, your beautiful, and I bet you’d look just as beautiful with the huge nerdy glasses” Alec said with a smile, “Your not scaring me off that easily”

 

Magnus couldn’t help but smile big and wrap his arms around his boyfriend. How did he get so lucky. To have Alec in his life had given him a joy that he’d yet to experience with anyone else, and he realized he didn’t want to. Didn’t want to share that feeling with anyone but Alec, ever. Right then and there he realized that Camille was wrong, his Achilles heel wasn’t loneliness, it was a man by the name of Alexander Lightwood.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feedback and Commenrs are appreciated
> 
> What did you think?


	27. We don’t say rising into love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fluff loading...

The next two weeks passed by in a flash and before Magnus knew it,it was the week of Alec’s graduation. Alec had offers from a bunch of great studios thanks to his killer performance at the recital. He had told Magnus that he narrowed it down to caplan&gold or the institute. There was no classes those two weeks for Alec considering he took all of the necessary exams and tied all the loose ends so, Magnus had the joy of waking up to Alec every single day which was quickly becoming his favorite thing, waking up to Alec’s tousled curls and sleepy blue eyes was something Magnus enjoyed a hell of a lot. He always slept better whenever Alec was in the bed with him and it was near impossible to get a good sleep without his blue eyed babe snuggled into his side, his steady warm puffs of air brushing against Magnus’ neck. Alec was over so frequently that he even had his own drawer with his clothes in it for back when he used to have to run straight to class from Magnus’ loft. He had all but moved in if Magnus was being honest, but nothing was official. Magnus had taken the day off work so he didn’t have to worry about coming out half way through his classes for Alec’s graduation,which was at 3pm. Despite his day free from work he still ended up waking up relatively early, at 8. Since it seemed like sleep wasn’t going to happen again anytime soon, Magnus slid from under the blankets and out of Alec’s warm embrace before slipping out of the bed. He stretched momentarily yawning before sighing contently. Magnus walked to his dresser, grabbing his favorite royal blue silk robe that matched his silk pajama pants perfectly and slipped it on over his bare torso, before reaching into the top drawer of his dresser and taking out his glasses. Slipping them on he made a mental note to put in his contacts when he was more awake, he had learned a long time ago that sleep and applying a small clear object with a film like consistency onto your eye ball weren’t a good mix. He’d lost too many contact lenses due to dropping them in his half conscious state. Scratching his growing stubble he made another mental note to shave later in the day, as he made his way out into the kitchen. He decided on cinnamon French toast, bacon and eggs for he and Alec’s breakfast and set to work making it. Tucking his hair securely behind his ears he grabbed the ingredients and utensils before losing himself in the calming art of cooking. He was putting freshly sliced strawberry onto the French toast, humming a soft tune and swaying his hips ever so slightly when he felt strong hands wrap around his middle, the smell of lavender and Alec. He felt Alec press a kiss into his hair before murmuring a soft good morning. Magnus instinctively leaned into the touch, relaxing against his boyfriend, and letting his eyes flutter close as he let himself be surrounded by Alec. A pleasant shiver ran down his spine when he felt Alec’s lips move towards his ear, his lips close enough for Magnus to feel his breaths

 

“Is all of this for me and you?” Alec asked in a amused tone. Magnus smiled to himself before turning in Alecs arms so that he was facing him, he wrapped his arms securely around his boyfriends waist, his breath catching in his throat momentarily as locked eyes with Alec. He smiled playfully

 

“Nah, I was thinking of eating these two plates myself” Magnus said jokingly laughing to himself. He sobered up after a while, noticing Alec’s not so subtle stare

 

“What?” Magnus said

 

Alec shook his head a bit, a soft smile on his lips, “Nothing just..you look adorable wearing your glasses” Alec said pointing to the frames. Magnus choked out a laugh as he lifted a hand to adjust the frames he’d forgotten he’d been wearing

 

“Oh, glad you think so” Magnus said while trying his best to surpress the smile that was tugging hard at his lips, “Let’s eat before all this food gets cold shall we?” Magnus said before leaning in and capturing his boyfriends lips in a chaste kiss. Magnus handed Alec his plate and they decided on eating outside, considering it was a nice warm August morning. They ate in silence just enjoying each other’s company, each of them caught in their own thoughts. Once they finished Alec came over and sat closer to Magnus, putting his legs over his lap

 

“So, Izzy insisted-well more like forced me to go shopping with her today so I’ll be leaving in a bit, and be back around one? I was thinking we could have a late lunch and then go to my graduation? I need all the fuel I can get to deal with my parents today” Alec said with a chuckle and Magnus nodded

 

“Of course. Do you want me to wait for you after the graduation ends or do you want me head back here, so as not to run into your parents” Magnus said already knowing that Alec’s parents there meant that Magnus most likely would be going home by himself, considering they only know him as a coworker-well maryse at least- and they would definitely want to have celebrations after. Magnus understood that Alec didn’t want his parents finding out for both of their sakes but he couldn’t help a pang of sadness sprout in his chest at the fact he won’t be able to celebrate and congratulate his boyfriend directly after receiving his diploma, he couldn’t even sit by him because his family was. Magnus felt Alec’s hand on his and he looked at him, his thoughts dispersing as he looked into those impossibly blue orbs

 

“Hey,” Alec said in a soft voice, “I’m sorry that it’s like this, I really wish you could be by my side the whole time,” Alec said stroking the side of Magnus’ face, “But yeah...it’s probably best if you get back home instead of waiting up, my parents would probably want to go to a fancy place but I’ll be able to wriggle out of it as soon as I can and then I’ll be all of yours” Alec said wiggling his eye brows before planting a loud kiss on Magnus’ cheek, causing the latter to burst into giggles

 

“Ok?” Alec said staring into Magnus’ eyes

 

“Ok” Magnus said smiling at Alec, his presence putting any doubts or sadness at ease. They stayed like that for a while, Alec playing with Magnus’ hands idly before his phone started ringing. Alec groaned and dropped his forehead against Magnus shoulder before sighing heavily and slowly getting up, walking over to his phone. He glanced at the caller ID sending Magnus a pained look before answering

 

“Hey Iz...yeah of course I didn’t forget...no yeah I’m ready...oh you’re outside? Ok I’m coming” Alec said before hanging up and rushing into their bedroom. Magnus followed and leaned against the door frame, watching amused as Alec ripped off his pajamas hurriedly, rummaging through his designated drawer in only his briefs. After finding decent clothes Magnus would presume, he put them on, sliding his feet into Magnus’ slides and was about to rush back out their bedroom door when he noticed Magnus and blushed smiling sheepishly,

 

“Sorry,Iz is here, I totally lost track of time but, I’ll be back in a bit” Alec said planting a kiss on Magnus’ lips before rushing out of the door

 

“Ok, bye babe” Magnus said watching as Alec left. Yeah, Alexander Lightwood was definitely his Achilles heel.

 

 

Alec almost immediately regretted his decision to go shopping with Izzy when he was set with a pile of clothes in his hands up to his chin. He sighed exasperated

 

“Do I really need to try on all of these clothes Iz?” Alec whined impatiently

 

Izzy was inspecting a sky blue button up but stopped just to send Alec a motherly glare, “Yes, Alec you do because if you haven’t noticed your wardrobe is a variation of workout clothes, baggy worn out jeans or loose sweaters. Not to mention they’re all in the exciting shades of black and grey” Izzy said sounding slightly disgusted before plopping the shirt she’d been inspecting on his pile and shooed him towards the changing rooms. By the time they were exiting the mall they had spent three and a half hours in there and Alec was swamped with bags,starving, and missing Magnus. Izzy dropped Alec back at Magnus’ apartment and he all but jumped out of the car, saying a quick goodbye before running up to the floor Magnus was on as fast as he could with the bags weighing him down. It was already 1:23pm so Alec took a break before using the key Magnus had given him and slipped in silently. He dropped his bags immediately and went in search for his boyfriend. He found him on the couch immersed in a episode of Project runway. Alec shook his head fondly before walking over

 

“Hey I’m back” he said with a smile

 

Magnus sat up from his slouching position, his golden eyes widening in surprise as his lips curls into a smile

 

“Hey, How was it?” Magnus asked as Alec walked over and flopped onto the couch next to him, leaning his head into his shoulder

 

“Tiring” He said with a groan before turning his head and planting a series of kisses on the exspanse of his boyfriends neck causing the latter to giggle and squirm. 

 

“I missed you” Alec breathed before wrapping his arms around Magnus’ shoulders in a brief hug,

Magnus chuckled fondly, running a hand through Alec’s curls, the feel of the light scratch of his nails and cool touch of his rings making Alec lean in slightly, his eyes fluttering closed

“so, lunch?” Magnus asked

 

“Lunch” Alec said agreeing

 

 

***

Magnus was currently sitting in a crowd full of the parents and family of the graduates, as he listened to the alumni speaker’s speech. After he and Alec had eaten their quick lunch they each got dressed, Magnus in a button down with slacks and Alec with a sky blue shirt Isabelle had brought for him and grey dress pant under his red and blue graduation robe, his curls peaking adorably from under his graduation cap. Magnus had dropped Alec off and come in later just in case Alec’s parents would be waiting by the entrance. Once Magnus did make inside he sat at his designated seat- thankfully on the lowest level so he was closest to Alec- and he sat down. The ceremony had started and speakers came and went, alumni. Thankfully they were on the last one now according to the program. Being in the room, was giving him series dejavu, considering he’d only graduated a few years ago from the same school. Magnus had, for the most part, zoned out all of the speeches because, he truly didn’t care but, he was pulled back into the now when the room erupted in cheers, slightly surprising him. They started announcing the names of the students for the dance bachelor of fine arts diploma and Magnus sat up straighter, and when it finally came to Alec he cheered like a proud parent, clapping and smiling happy as Alec accepted the diploma. He watched as his boyfriend scanned the crowd before they locked eyes, Magnus gave him a thumbs up and Alec’s smile increased, making Magnus’ heart sing happily. After that the ceremony flew by and before Magnus knew it they were playing pomp and circumstance and everyone was standing to leave. Magnus stood also but stayed planted, deciding to stay and watch his boyfriend for a bit longer, half because he simply couldn’t tear his gave away and half because he enjoyed seeing Alec this happy. He watched as a short stocky man who Magnus could only assume was his father, pat Alec on the back in proud manner as before Alec’s mother pulled him down for a hug, Izzy and Jace following suit before a petite red head and a guy with brown hair and brown framed glasses started talking to him happily. Magnus sighed happily, this, this is what Alec deserves, to be surrounded by family and friends as they poured out their pride and love for him. After a few more moments Magnus sighed, deciding he should probably head home and turned, telling himself that he’d see Alec later and that he was being sickeningly clingy, when something caught his eye. Or more like someone. Magnus turned fully back around, his eyes locked on a guy as he approached Alec. He watched as the tall man with olive colored skin, dark brown eyes wearing a loose dark green button up with khakis, with thick black hair that was side parted and combed down neatly, tap Alec’s shoulder, catching his boyfriends attention. Magnus held his breath as Alec looked shocked for a second before his expression changed to extreme joy, Magnus even could tell a laugh had passed Alec lips. He watched as Alec brought the mystery person into a brief tight embrace, a huge smile on his face before he let go and started talking animately, his hands moving excitedly. Magnus felt a all too familiar feeling bubble up in his chest but stomped it down immediately. He turned and left, walking out of the arena quickly. As he made his way to the car, he couldn’t help but wonder

 

Who was that ?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feedbacks and Comments appreciated 
> 
> It’s coming to the end of summer and you know what comes after summer
> 
> The fall


	28. There is in it the idea of the fall

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **SMUT AT THE END AND A LITTLE IN THE BEGIN BE AWARE**
> 
> angst and jealousy

      Alec ended up coming home when Magnus was fast asleep. He slipped inside their bedroom quietly and took in the sight of his boyfriend, slouched over on their bed, glasses slightly lower on his perfect nose and a book in his hands, his grip on it loose from his unconscious state. The sight was adorable and it sent a warm feeling through Alec, causing him to smile fondly while he changed out of his graduation clothes quickly,  before climbing into the bed next to Magnus, moving him down to a more comfortable position without waking him, before promptly wrapping his limbs around him. As Alec lay there eyes closed,he waited for sleep to befall him but it just wouldn’t come. It had been such an eventful day and his mind wouldn’t stop moving,  going back to earlier. The moment when he caught Izzy’s shocked expression at something over his shoulder, and turned around to find Raj standing there in all his glory. The very last thing he expected was to see when he turned around was his old friend and though he was shocked he was ecstatic nonetheless, considering he hadn’t spoken to Raj since the whole Sebastian incident, partly due to being completely embarrassed and partly due to Raj going back to college California before they had a chance to talk in person. Raj had apparently had his graduation a month earlier than his and decided he wouldn’t miss Alec’s so he took off of his new job for a few days and would be staying to hang with Alec in New York before he had to go back. If Alec was honest he was glad Raj had come, because of the fact that he was one of his closest and only friends before Sebastian ran him off and one of the best dance partners he’s had. Maryse invited Raj to celebrate with them, one thing lead to another and it ended up running longer than expected, once they got to catching up that is. Alec sighed and snuggled closer to his boyfriends warm body, a content smile pulling at the corner of his mouth as he couldn’t help but think his life was finally coming back together.

**

 

Magnus woke slowly, a bit disoriented as he blinked his eyes open. He reached up to rub his eyes, stopping when instead of reaching his eyes, his hand bumped into his glasses. Ah yes, he must’ve fallen asleep yesterday waiting up for...Magnus turned his head and caught sight of the mop of dark curls snuggled into his side. Alec. He breathed out a small laugh as he observed his sleeping boyfriend. He must have come in when Manus was asleep. Admittedly it was hard falling asleep without Alec but celebrations probably took him longer then anticipated and he understood that. Magnus sighed and ran a hand through his hair before sliding out of the bed. Last night, despite his best efforts he couldn’t help but wonder who his boyfriend had been talking to yesterday, even as he’d tried to read his favorite book he couldn’t distract himself, which was completely pathetic and he didn’t understand it himself as to why his brain was pressing him on the subject. Inevitable thinking that hard had probably worn him out, hence the falling asleep with his glasses on. Magnus let out a huff of a laugh and walked over to his vanity and picking up his brush, combing it through his thick silky hair until it was free of snags. He examined it before shrugging, it would have to do. Today was Friday which meant work,for both Alec and Magnus but also their 3 month anniversary. Alec had finished his internship at Pandemonium and today was his first day at Caplan & Gold. Magnus hummed a random tune to himself as he walked into his bathroom, shutting the door behind him, before removing his sleep clothes, placing them in the bin and walking into his large shower, sliding the glass closed behind him. Magnus let the scalding water run over his body and through his hair, sighing contently at the soothing feeling it brought. He stayed under the steaming water, washing his hair and body languidly before finally stepping out. Reached over to his towel rack and wrapped one securely around his waist and another around his head, to help his hair dry. He walked over to his sink, brushing his teeth before making his way out of the steamy room. The first thing he noticed when he enter his bedroom was one shirtless Alexander Lightwood sitting on the edge of his king sized bed, with the book Magnus had been reading the night before, in his hands, observing it. To think that just a little less than three months ago, Alec was afraid to wear short sleeves around him. Magnus chuckled lightly at the thought and made his way over to his angelic boyfriend. Alec had been scanning the book when Magnus opened the door, but discarded of it once his eyes blue eyes locked on his golden ones as he made his way over. Magnus smiled fondly as he stood in front of his adorable boyfriend, leaning down to give him a chaste good morning kiss, and letting out a surprised squeak instead as Alec tugged him down onto his lap once he was in arms reach. Magnus was basically straddling him now, his legs on either side of Alec’s thighs, his towel now hiked up around his upper thighs, the fabric pooling loosely around his waist, still covering him but barley. Magnus breathed out a short surprised laugh as Alec immediately started nuzzling and nipping at the damp skin on Magnus’ neck

 

“Alexander, I love you but I hope you know you’re going to get yourself all wet considering I just got out of the shower” Magnus said in a light amused tone, his own hands wondering aimlessly over his boyfriends shoulders. His statement earned him a small shrug and dismissive hum from his boyfriend as his perfectly pink lips moved to cover his. Magnus let his arms slip around his lovers neck, pressing their naked chests together, his cool chest scrubbing deliciously against Alec’s seemingly scorching one, marveling at the way his boyfriends skin felt against his own. The kisses were soft but persistent, and Magnus soon enough got lost in Alec’s soft lips on his. He felt the towel on his head fall to the ground as suddenly Alec’s nimble fingers were threading through the still slightly wet strands, the feeling of the soft scratch of Alec’s nails, causing Magnus to gasp into the kiss allowing Alec tongue to slip inside, his own tongue licking and tasting Alecs mouth, which tasted of coffee. When the need for air got too intense, they broke off from each other panting. Magnus kept his eyes closed for a beat longer, before opening them, finding Alec’s dilated pupils staring back at him

 

“You smell _amazing_ babe” Alec whispered in a gravelly voice that caused a shiver to run down his back

 

Magnus couldn’t help the bashful smile that made its way onto his lips and the way his heart fluttered at the pet name, “Happy 3 months to you too angel” Magnus said in a light teasing tone before adding with a mock surprised tone, “My My, is this my shy Alexander?Ravishing me straight out of the shower?” He watched amused as Alec eyes widened ever so slightly and his cheeks flushed pink

 

“I’m sorry Mags, by the angel that was so rude of me” Alec rambled as he tried to slide from under Magnus,the tips of his ears coloring. Magnus chuckled and placed his hands on Alec’s toned shoulders, stopping him from moving, as he leaned down close to his ear, “I never said I didn’t like it” Magnus whispered, watching in sheer amusement as Alec froze. Magnus chuckled and slid gracefully off of his boyfriends lap, making sure to hold his towel in place, tying it securely again, the fluffy material covering him again safely. “But..as much as I’d like to see where this goes, we both do have work in a bit so...later” Magnus said with a smile, stroking Alec’s cheek before he moved to his walk in closet, scanning his section of dance clothes before deciding on his soft pink t shirt with the words “let boys be feminine” in black on the chest pocket, his black loose overalls and pink vans to match his shirt. Magnus grabbed said items and walked out of his closet, hanging them on the edge of his floor length mirror before walking over to his dresser, opening his second drawer and taking out his briefs and socks, before loosening the towel around his waist and stepping into said briefs. Magnus straightened back up, glancing over his shoulder when he heard the intake of breath, finding Alec adorably turned away, the tips of his ears and neck undeniably flushed. Magnus smiled and shook his head, biting his lip to keep himself from bursting out laughing as he quickly slipped into the designated clothes he set out, before sitting in front of his vanity, brushing through his hair until in was smooth as he watched Alec shuffle around the room, picking out items of clothing before disappearing into the bathroom. Magnus couldn’t help but shake his head fondly, a small chuckle escape him. The man was just to cute for his own good Magnus thought as he tied up his hair making sure it was out of his face before he started the meticulous process of his makeup. He decided to opt out of foundation or concealer due to the hip hop classes he had all day- hence laid back outfit- and instead settled for a tainted moisturizer, a little bit of subtle soft pink eyeshadow to match his outfit and a line of brown eyeliner. As for his hair, he decided instead of his usually top knot or artful spikes, he’d just go product free, running his hand through his silky hair, flipping it to the side so it was artfully swooped, the hair falling just at his eyebrow. He messed with it a bit more before it was to his liking but made a mental note to go get his hair dyed a new color soon, his last color had been red but it grew out and ultimately been cut off, and now it was high time he got a new color, he was thinking maybe purple. Magnus stood up and walked over to his full length mirror, staring at his full look, surveying it, turning side to side with a contemplative look before walking over to his dresser again, rummaging through his top drawer before pulling out his circle glasses. Slipping them on he walked back over to the mirror and surveyed his look again. Yes, this was it, perfect he thought.

It was then Alec came out the bathroom, fully dressed in his worn black jeans and baggy black sweater, his midnight curls damp and falling across the pale skin of his forehead, the contrast of his dark hair, blue eyes and pale skin, intensifying his beauty. Despite his progress with Magnus, his boyfriend was still wildly uncomfortable wearing anything that didn’t cover his scars in public, which saddened Magnus a little but he understood. His eyes fell on Alec the same moment Alec’s eyes fell on him.

 

“Wow you look hot” Alec said as he approached Magnus, before promptly blushing and nervously clearing his throat, “Sorry, um, these new?” Alec asked tapping his glasses. Magnus smirked fondly, shaking his head

“No, I’ve had these for a while” Magnus said before planting a kiss on Alec’s lips and walking past him into the kitchen, “Coffee?” Magnus asked over his shoulder

 

“Yeah, and really? I haven’t seen you wear glasses out, and I’ve only seen you wearing your other pair in here” Alec said thoughtfully. Magnus hummed in response

and set to making the coffee. Once he added gallons of cream and sugar to his, he handed Alec his black coffee and sipped his, humming as the warm liquid made its way down his throat

 

“Well, I usually wear my contacts everyday but, I felt this pair just went with my look today, don’t you agree?” Magnus said regarding Alec as he sipped his coffee. Alec nodded and smiled

 

“Of course”

 

****

Magnus dropped Alec off at C&G and then drove to the Pandemonium. They decided that Magnus would pick Alec back up and the end of the day and have dinner. Once Magnus’ usual hip pop class came in they immediately asked where Alec was and he had to tell them about Alec getting a proper job as a dance teacher at a popular studio. Admittedly they were bummed but the class was fun as always. Magnus wouldn’t admit it to himself but he missed having Alec around and was counting down the hours until it was time to get off and get Alec for dinner.

The day trudged by and once his last class was finally exiting Magnus sighed happily. Finally. He thought as he left the studio, and driving home, taking a quick shower before getting into casual dinner clothes. He checked himself in the mirror one last time before driving to Alec’s workplace. Once he made it to the front he sent Alec a text to tell him he was outside. After about 10 minutes of waiting though, with no response from Alec he shut off his car and made his way inside the building. He walked up to the reception desk and smiled

 

“Hi, I was wondering if you could tell me if Alexander Lightwood is still here? It was his first day, I was supposed pick him up here?” Magnus said as explanation. The lady nodded and smiled, “Yes, a lovely lad, I met him earlier” the lady said with a smile while typing something in the computer in front of her, “He..should be done with all his classes, his last class ended about 15 minutes ago. He’s probably just tying loose ends in the studio, don’t worry, you can go right up, his studio is the first door on the second floor” The lady said pointing in a direction. Magnus sighed, relaxing and shooting the lady a grateful smile before heading off in the direction he was told. As he neared the said door, his brows furrowed in confusion as he heard two voices, and laughter. Opening the door he felt his heart drop and his confusion rise as he saw Alec with the guy he’d spotted at his graduation, arms around each other as they talked and giggled quietly

 

Magnus knew it wasn’t what it looked like, it obviously couldn’t be, so he took and deep breath and just decided to get Alec’s attention who hadn’t noticed his presence

**

“Alexander?”

 

Alec whipped around at the sound of Magnus’ voice, pushing away from Raj in the process. Magnus was staring at Alec, his eyes drifting to Raj for a second and then back, a blank look on his face. Alec’s heart was beating a million miles per hour because he hated not being able to know what Magnus was thinking.

 

“Magnus,uh, hey...”Alec started timidly before rushing on, gesturing to Raj who was watching the exchange with confused eyes, “This is Raj. My old friend I told you about? And Raj, this is my wonderful boyfriend Magnus” Alec said. Although he was talking to both of them he kept his eyes glued on Magnus, gaging his reaction, his expressions, everything because he could tell something was wrong, his eyes were giving at least that much away. Magnus’ face turned into a curt smile, one that didn’t reach his eyes and looked slightly forced to Alec but, he couldn’t be sure, as Magnus held out his hand to Raj, who accepted, shaking it.

 

“Pleasure to meet you Raj” was all Magnus said before turning back to Alec, “Can we talk? Or are you busy?” Magnus said, his tone relaxed and light along with his posture, but his eyes were anything but. Alec quickly nodded and turned to Raj who looked suddenly upset. Alec loved his friend but he could care at that moment as he said a quick goodbye and shooed Raj out of the room leaving only Alec and Magnus.

 

“What’s wrong” Alec asked once Raj was gone. Magnus closed his eyes and let out a long breath through his nose, his jaw clenching and unclenching

 

“Do you want to explain what _that_ was? Because my mind...I don’t like where my mind is going” Magnus finally said, his voice tight. Alec closed the distance between them and grabbed Magnus’ hands, only for him to take them out of Alec’s and put them in his pockets. Alec sighed and shook his head

 

“There wasn’t anything Mags,we just danced and that’s it. He was my old dance partner and we were doing it for old times sake you know?” Alec said rolling his eyes. Yeah he and Raj were a little close but that was the ending pose, and Magnus should know Alec could never do that to him. He watched as Magnus stared at him, a blank look on his face before he scoffed in disbelief.

 

“Alexander..come _on_. That was more then a fucking dance darling-did you not see the way Raj was looking at you-” Magnus said pointing to the door Raj had left through minutes ago

 

Alec groaned positively annoyed, “Mags, he’s my old dance partner and close friend, I haven’t seen him in years. God, Magnus I didn’t peg you to be the jealous type” Alec said his voice tinged with obvious annoyance. Something in Magnus’ eyes changed and he let out a harsh chuckle before spinning on his heel and walking to the door. Alec looked on confused,

 

“Magnus where are you going, we have dinner”

 

“Go with Raj, I’m going home Alec” was all Magnus said, his tone sharp, before swinging the door open and leaving. Alec stood there utterly confused, and a bit hurt, thinking, what just happened?

 

***

 

Magnus was seething. And the worst part was, he didn’t particularly know why. He just couldn’t believe Alec was so...ugh he didn’t even know. He stormed into his apartment, slamming the door behind him and started pacing. He didn’t know why he felt the way he did...but he just did. And god- he actually told Alec to go have dinner with the guy. Magnus hated himself for that but at the same time, what was he to think when he walked in on his boyfriend a breath away from another guys face, with said guy looking at Alec as if he’d hung the moon. Alec didn’t even- he called him jealous. He wasn’t jealous, he was terribly insecure though he hated to admit it. Alec is..beautiful and funny and nice and sweet and- Magnus isn’t. After a while everyone- everyone he’s ever been with- everyone he’s ever let in, realizes this and he’s scared to death that with Raj here Alec will realize it too. Raj...seems like a nice guy, he does, and he’s known Alec for longer and there are definitely feelings there on Raj’s side and it terrifies him. Magnus sighs and walks to his kitchen, grabbing his chocolate stash then trudges to his room stripping off his clothes, pulling on one of Alec’s baggy sweaters before climbing into bed, bringing the chocolates and his phone with him. Magnus plugged in his earphones and clicked onto his Spotify playlist, putting the music on full volume as Cliche by mxmtoon flooded his ears. Though Magnus was taller he was a lot leaner than Alec, so his tops fit him as well. He sunk under his blankets and ate the chocolates, his mind replaying what he saw over and over, as he chastised himself, getting more and more sad on the subject. God why was he like this? Why did he fuck up good things and make a big deal over things so small? He knew Alec hadn’t done anything with Raj, he did, but there was still a part of him that felt...he didn’t know. After minutes dragged along, Magnus realized all he wanted to do was be in Alec’s arm, and even binging chocolate wasn’t helping him. He silently cursed himself for telling Alec to go have dinner with Raj and cursing Alec for most likely taking his advice.Just as the thought passed his mind he felt his bed dip and he froze, ripping out his headphones and sitting up, the blankets falling off in the process. There on his bed sat Alexander. Magnus’ first reaction was to say something, anything but...he just ended up opening and closing his mouth a few times before he groaned and covered his face with his hands. A second later he felt Alec wrap his arms around him silently

 

Magnus sighed and breathed in his boyfriends comforting scent, “I’m sorry” Magnus whispered pulling back from Alec so he could look into those ocean blue eyes properly, “I-I know, that it wasn’t- yknow? But I- just I get so afraid Alexander..and...ugh just forget it” Magnus said dropping his gaze, feeling utterly embarrassed at showing just how weak he really was under his flirty and confident exterior. He hated having to explain or talk about what he was feeling. Magnus felt Alec tilt his chin up so their eyes were once again locked. Alec’s gaze was so intense and loving and...disarming, that Magnus nearly burst out crying then and there

 

“No, don’t do that, tell me, w _hat_ are you so _afraid_ of Magnus?” Alec asked as his eyes searched Magnus’ face. Magnus sighed and ran a hand through his hair scoffing at the irony in that question. What wasn’t he afraid of? Magnus worries his lip as he debated answering or pushing to change the subject before he ultimately decided on the latter

 

“God Alec, why do you keep asking me that” Magnus said scooting away from his boyfriend and wrapping his arms around himself, even though his body protested, wanting to do the exact opposite. He loved Alec.. he did but, Alec kept pushing on getting to know him, know his fears and it terrified him. Over the past 3 months they’ve spent together,they had mostly focused on the present, save for the one time Magnus had opened up that day in bed, summarizing his horrid childhood, and that’s what Magnus was all about, living in the moment. At least he thought he was...

 

“ _Because_ Magnus, I want get to know you, all of _you_. Remember when you told me, when things get bad to not push you away? Well that applies on your end too” Alec said with the sincerity clear in his voice, “I love you Magnus. All of you, and I’m not going to stop but I need to know the problem or I won’t know how to fix it- especially when it has to do with me” Alec said softly

 

“You really wanna know what I’m scared of?” Magnus started, his eyes meeting Alec’s once more. Alec nodded in response, brow furrowed and focused, “I’m scared of _this_!” Magnus bursted out, exasperated at Alec persistence and at the blatant fact that..his boyfriend was indeed right. He knew he was being childish but he didn’t know how to stop it.

 

Alec looked shocked and a little wounded for a bit before he responded, “what do you mean by that Mags..do you not want thi-“

 

Magnus sighed and got up from the bed, pacing back and forth as he shook his head “No Angel no, I’ve never wanted anything more in my life but-I’m scared of _everything_. I’m scared _move_ I’m scared to _breathe_ ,I’m scared to _touch_ you- I can’t lose you, Alexander, I can’t-I won’t _survive_ and that’s your fault” Magnus said feeling himself trembling as he gulped in air, “this is the reason I haven’t done relationships, I’m not good at them but somehow, you made me love you-you made me let you in” Magnus said in a accusing tone which ended up just sounding extremely panicked and scared, “I-I’m afraid that you’re going to resent me and I’m afraid that this is not enough for you- that I’m enough for you, or too much for you. That your going to wake up and see what everyone else sees and- I won’t survive that” Magnus said shaking his head back and forth as he heard his blood pumping in his ears. The room was silent with the exception of Magnus’ uneven breaths. Alec was just staring at Magnus, mouth slightly open, facial expression unreadable and Magnus wished right then and there that for once, the angels would take mercy on him and let the ground swallow him up.

 

**

Alec didn’t know what to say. Magnus was standing there looking so vulnerable, in his boxers and one of Alec’s sweaters, his eyeliner was smudged under his eyes making him look adorable, and it tugged at Alec’s heart. He had asked Magnus to let him in, all the way in and even though Magnus might not have realized it, that’s  exactly what he just did, he let down the last wall and aired out his insecurities,

 

“Magnus I love you” Alec said like it was the simplest thing in the world, “ I can’t breathe without you and I definitely won’t live without you, not if I can help it. I’m scared to death of this, what we have. Your everything anyone would want and everyone would be lucky to have, and yeah I feel like one day you might realize how plain and boring and burdensome I am-“

 

“No I could never” Came Magnus’ sweet voice. Alec looked up and noticed Magnus had scooted closer again. Alec smiled shyly and ducked his head, busying himself by picking up Manus’ left hand and tracing random patterns on his open palm. After a few minutes he heard Magnus sigh, “By Lilith I’m terrible. I act like such a child sometimes Alexander you’ll have to forgive me- I can’t believe I’ve ruined our 3 month anniversary like this” Magnus said. Alec looked up noticing the embarrassed and disappointed look on Magnus’ face and leaned in, planting a soft kiss on his boyfriends lips

 

“There’s nothing to forgive Mags” Alec said with a soft smile, “I get it..and we talked about it- you didn’t run away and neither did I, and now I understand. Plus you could never ruin our anniversary, I don’t need a fancy dinner, I just need you” Alec said with surety. Magnus snorted shaking his head

 

“ _God_ I love you”

 

Alec felt his heart flutter in his chest, and his stomach do flips. Three words could never fail to make him insatiably happy, “I love you to” Alec said softly, his voice sounding lovesick even to his ears as a dopey smile made its way onto his lips. Magnus sent Alec a dazzling smile before he leaned in a plopped a soundly kiss on the top of his nose, making Alec giggle very unmanly like

 

“Ah have I ever told you how adorable those freckles on your nose are? Or how adorable your laugh is? Or how much I love your laugh” Magnus said wrapping his arms around Alecs neck,placing another soft kiss on Alec’s lips, “your impossibly blue eyes” kiss “your untamable curls” kiss “your smile” kiss “your personality” kiss. Alec’s heart was bursting by this point with so much love for this man and he couldn’t stop smiling. Magnus paused to stare into Alec’s eyes, they were close enough for Alec to see the array of green specks mixed into the pool of golden brown and he was mesmerized

 

“I love your scars” Magnus whispered to Alec, reaching down and grabbing his hand, swiping his thumb over his wrists with his thumb. Alec rushed forward and kissed Magnus fervently, overwhelmed with love for the man in front of him. He’s never been good at saying his emotions so he hoped that he could show them. Magnus kisses him back just as passionately. The kiss caught like a wildfire, hands wandering and pulling at clothes. Alec felt the overwhelming need to be closer to Magnus, closer and even closer still. He fell back against the bed pulling Magnus on top of him, the kiss never breaking. Alec loved the feeling of Magnus’ weight on top of him, his legs on either side on Magnus’ locking him in. Magnus drew his bottom lip between his causing Alec to moan and writhe against his boyfriend, their crotches brushing deliciously. Alec loved this but he needed to be closer to Magnus, that caramel skin on his, nothing in between, so he tugged at Magnus’ shirt whining against Magnus’ lips. Off, he thought. Magnus must’ve read his mind because he chuckled and broke the kiss for a millisecond, leaning ripping his shirt over his head as well as Alec’s before leaning back on top of Alec

 

“Better?” He whispered breathless against Alec’s mouth, smiling. He just hummed a response since Magnus’ bare chest and soft lips against him apparently made talking too hard, before pulling Magnus back down, their lips crashing together. Their naked chests rubbed together as they rutted against each other. Magnus broke the kiss, moving to Alec’s neck, biting and sucking the skin there, soothing it with his tongue before moving down to Alec’s chest, his mouth hovering above it, his harsh breaths brushing against the sensitive skin there

 

“Is this ok?” Magnus asked softly, his voice rough and gravelly, only adding to Alec’s rising desire. Alec nodded feeling his heart beat wildly as Magnus’ warm wet lips enclosed over the sensitive nub, his tongue circling around the soft pink disk of flesh, coaxing a loud moan out of Alec as he arched against his mouth. Magnus continued his slow torture on Alec, paying special attention on each one before Alec was completely wrecked and begging him.

 

Magnus let off, kissing his way back up to Alec’s mouth as his fingers ran over Alec’s bare torso, before speaking, “What was that?” He asked against Alec’s lips

 

Alec dragged open his eyes, that he must’ve closed at some point, and stared up at his boyfriend, taking in the kiss swollen lips, mussed up hair, and golden pools of desire and he was sure, sure of what he wanted

 

“Magnus, I..I _need_ you inside of me. _Please_ ”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am back from my small hiatus and I come bearing gifts. How did you like the chapter? Comments and feedback are appreciated as always
> 
>  
> 
> “We don’t say rising into love, there is in it the idea of the fall”


	29. La La Land

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What the title says
> 
> **MAJOR SMUTT IN THE FIRST HALF SO SCROLL BY IF THATS NOT YOUR THING**  
> Smut ends after the bold astrics (**)

Magnus stared down at his boyfriend, his blue eyes clouded with desire, his kiss swollen bottom lip drawn between his teeth, and his curls spread around his head on the pillow creating a crown. He was beautiful. And he was all Magnus’.

“Magnus I..I need you inside of me now. Please”

Magnus sucked in a breath, freezing. Wait What?  
Did Alec just- was he asking-

Alec pulled Magnus into another searing kiss, effectively silencing his loud thoughts. Alec’s fingers slid down to Magnus’ pants, quickly unbuttoning and unzipping them, beginning to push them off when Magnus pulled back

“Wait-Alexander” Magnus said hovering above Alec on his forearms. He waited until Alec’s eyes looked a bit more focused to speak, “We shouldn’t-we should talk about this, love, before we...” Magnus trailed off with a pained sigh. Fuck. Being the voice of reason in these situations was going to be the death of him

“Magnus..look at me” Alec’s soft voice said, pulling Magnus out of his thoughts. Magnus focused his gaze back on his beautiful boyfriend below him, “I love you Magnus, so much, and I trust you with everything that I have. I want this with you. I’ve thought about it for a while now and I know what I want. This is it. I only want it with you so..please” Alec whispered as his hand ran distractingly up and down Magnus’ bare side. Magnus wanted nothing but to give into his boyfriends requests but...Alec was sexual assault victim, and Magnus was more than afraid that doing this might strike a nerve with that or even worse throw Alec into a panic attack. Magnus voiced his thoughts

“I don’t want this to trigger you in anyway, set off a panic attack or-I don’t want you to be hurt and-“

“Magnus, you could never hurt me. I’m not afraid of this, not with you. I promise to tell you if something is off, ok?” Alec said bringing his hand up to cup Magnus’ face, “Please?”

Magnus worried his bottom lip as he thought about it hard. He really didn’t want them to rush into this but...then again, they weren’t rushing, it had been a whirlwind of months that felt longer then what they had been and Alec knows Magnus better then anyone else in his life, on top of that...Alec trusts him and he’s right, he would never hurt Alec-

“You..do want me right?” Came Alec’s voice again, tearing Magnus from his thoughts. Magnus focused back on his beautiful boyfriend, who was staring up at him with a slightly panicked and embarrassed look,doubt creeping into those blue orbs. Magnus pushed his obvious erection against Alec thigh, leaning his forehead against Alec’s, their noses brushing against each other, lips a breath away

“More then anything. By Lilith I want you so bad angel..” Magnus sighed against Alec lips

“So take me Magnus... you have me” Alec whispered back, raising his hips to brush against Magnus’.

Magnus took one last look at Alec’s unwavering gaze and decided

“Well...in that case it seems like you’re over dressed” Magnus said tugging at the waistband of Alec’s jeans

Alec grinned up at Magnus, a mischievous glint in his eyes, before leaning up so that their lips were brushing ever so slightly, “Than do something about it” Alec challenged with a breathless whisper. Magnus just bit back the groan that almost escaped him. He didn’t need to be told twice.

The air around them filled with electricity, excitement, and anticipation as Magnus leaned down placing a series of fervent kisses on Alec’s lips as he removed his jeans and boxers, “Off and off” Magnus whispered against Alec’s lips in a playful tone before quickly removing his own remaining articles of clothing. Magnus stopped for a moment, taking a minute to observe his boyfriends beautiful body, his smooth pale skin, taunt abs, the fine hair of his happy trail leading down and down

“Beautiful...” Magnus said in awe, “you’ve got to be part angel love...sculpted by the gods. I can’t believe you’re all mine” Magnus whispered as he met Alec’s gaze again, watching fondly as Alec blushed furiously, “Ah so the blush goes all the way down huh” Magnus said making note of the fact. Yeah they had showered together before but Magnus never got to see and observe Alec full, amazing, naked body on display when it was in the height of pleasure, and he was thoroughly enjoying it. Magnus was so mesmerized that his arms nearly gave out when Alec’s hands found their way to his cock, his fingers wrapping almost fully around the width of it. Magnus stifled his moan in Alec’s shoulder as Alec started to pump his length in and out of his grip

“Magnus I need you” Alec whispered again against his lips, demanding and urgent

“Ok” Magnus whispered moving off Alec to reach over into his side table, pulling out a condom and lube “This might sting a little bit but just relax for me ok? It’ll get better” Magnus whispered while squirting a generous amount of the gel onto his fingers. Alec looked up at Magnus and nodded

“Ok”

***

Magnus moves his hand down between Alec’s legs, slipping the tip of his slick finger in his tight entrance, probing Alec gently as he gets used to the feel before he slips in another and another and another until Alec is moaning and pushing back against his hand, begging for more. Magnus slides out his fingers and Alec lets out a whine as he loses the delicious feeling of being full

“Shh I know baby” Magnus whispers, placing a kiss on Alec’s lips as he quickly prepares himself, putting on the condom and lube before he guides his member to Alec’s entrance. His eyes search Alec’s before pulling him in for a slow kiss as he pushes in slowly. When Magnus finally breaching Alec’s tight hole, Alec can’t help but suck in a breath, his body immediately tensing up against the intruder. Magnus wasn’t lying, it hurt, a lot. Magnus must’ve sensed Alec’s dilemma because he lifted his head from its place against Magnus’ neck, his golden eyes that looked more green in the light focused on Alec face

“Are you ok? Do you want me to stop?” Magnus asked concern clearly tinting his voice as his thumb brushed along his cheek. Alec almost laughed at the thought, even with Magnus being halfway into him, he would stop just for Alec comfort. Alec smiled at the thought, blushing as he shook his head

“No, it just stings a bit” Alec whispered, bringing his hand up to brush a few strands of Magnus’ hair back from his eyes. Magnus’ face became one of understanding before he leaned down next to Alec ear, his lips brushing the shell, coaxing a immediate shiver from Alec

“I understand, just relax for me Alexander” Magnus said before started planting kisses on everywhere on Alec that he could reach, his neck, chest, and plenty all over his face before capturing his mouth in a searing kiss that had all the tension leave his body in seconds,his legs falling open wider, allowing Magnus to slide in the rest of the way easily. Magnus stopped once he bottomed out, his hand firmly gripping Alec’s side. Alec groaned at the feeling of Magnus stretching him, the pain was slowly ebbing away and being replaced with pure pleasure

“You can move” Alec whispered against Magnus’ lips. Magnus placed an open mouth kiss on Alec’s neck before he pulled out slightly before pushing back in, causing Alec to bite his bottom lip, in the effort to keep in a moan. Magnus saw this and pulled Alec’s lip free with his teeth

“Don’t, I want to hear you” Was all Magnus whispered before pulling out again, slightly further out than before slamming back into him, coaxing a loud moan to pass Alec’s lips. Magnus continued the motion of repeatedly slamming into Alec, making Alec to inch closer and closer to his anticipated climax, but it was only when Alec changed his position slightly, wrapping his legs around Magnus’ waist as he met Magnus’ thrusts, did he see stars

“God yes!” Alec moans, “There, don’t stop”

Magnus continued to hit Alec’s prostate with dead accuracy, dragging Alec closer and closer to falling off the precipice of pleasure. Before he knows it, the ever coiling ball of pleasure in his stomach explodes and the wave of ecstasy is engulfing and washing over him as he comes with moans of Magnus’ name like a chant on his lips along with a string of I love you’s as he rode out his orgasm.

He and Magnus lay there, after cleaning off respectively and Alec couldn’t remember feeling so completely full of happiness in his life.

**

Magnus smiled as he pushed a curl back from Alec’s forehead. He watched as his boyfriend began to stir, those blue eyes blinking open. Alec’s eyes focused on Magnus and then a smile creeped onto his face

“Hi” Alec said shyly his cheeks flushing slightly with a beautiful blush

“Hi” Magnus said back, feeling himself smiling just as big

Alec reached for Magnus’ hand, linking their fingers together before resting their joined hands on his chest “We did that” Alec said after a while, a dazed smile on his face as his thumb ran idly over the back of Magnus’ hand, shaking his head slightly as if he didn’t believe it, “is it always like that?” He asked before dropping Magnus’ hand only to shift closer, so there was virtually no more space between their naked bodies under the silky gold sheets. Magnus breathed in Alec’s scent, humming as he wrapped his arms around Alec’s soft skin,running his fingers up and down his lovers back.

“If I’m being honest, I’ve never felt like that during sex..it was-you’re amazing” Magnus said truthfully, smiling softly as his eyes searched Alec’s face, memorizing every perfect detail. Alec held his gaze for a while before his blush intensified and he hid his face in Magnus’ shoulder

“I had no idea it could be like that...you make me so happy...” Alec whispered quietly into Magnus’ shoulder, planting a kiss there before he was on top of Magnus, hair wild from the previous night’s activities, and a playful glint in his blue eyes as he leaned his face closer to Magnus’, “Care to help me test my theory?”

Magnus looked at Alec amused, playing along, “Hm, depends...what is this theory?”

Alec dramatically gasped, a barley suppressed smile on his face, “Well I’m glad you asked” Alec exclaimed with mock excitement before leaning down close to Magnus’ ear, “My theory is..that sex with you will never be anything short of amazing...care to help me collect data?” Alec whispered in a way that made Magnus shiver before nodding and switching their positions in one swift movement

“Anything to help the cause” Magnus whispers before they do a repeat of the nights activities

*********

When Alec gets to Caplan and Gold that day he feels like he’s floating on air, and he can’t help the insatiable smile on his face. When he and Magnus finally made their way out of bed they have an eventful shower together, before Magnus treated him to an amazing breakfast, complete with easy conversation and loving looks. His class that he’s been assigned doesn’t fail to notice this, the teens pressing for details to which Alec deflects. Despite only knowing the kids for a day, he knows that they are a both talented and caring bunch. Half way through the day Alec got a text from Izzy

3:45 Iz: I’ve decided it’s been far too long since their last annual siblings movie night and since you are no longer occupied with dance practice for any upcoming performance, you’ll come right?  
I’ve already convinced Jace as well

3:49 Alec: Can I bring Magnus?

3:52 Iz: Ofc. In that case I’ll bring Simon and Jace can bring Clary and we can make it a even better time, good idea big bro :))

Alec shoots Magnus a quick text to see if it’s ok with him before returning to teaching. The day passes by rather quickly after that so the only time Alec is able to check his phone again is when he’s done changing back into his street clothes

4:02 Mags: Yes I would love to come. We could go after I pick you up?

7:03 Mags: I’m outside

Alec locked up the studio, saying a quick bye to Jane, the lady at the front desk,before walking out to Magnus’ car and getting inside. Magnus was dressed in a brilliant loose maroon button up and beige pants. As soon as Alec entered the car he brought him into a kiss

“How was your day” Magnus asked as he set the car into drive

Alec smiled and blushed to himself as he thought about their morning, “Hm I’d way it was pretty good. What about you, how are the kids?”

Once Magnus was on the road he took the position of one hand on the wheel while the other held Alec’s, “They’re good, as always, they miss you though” Magnus said with a soft smile, “Especially Madzie” Magnus added

“I miss them too” Alec admitted, “Maybe I should see if I could visit them sometime soon”

Magnus and Alec continued the light conversation the rest of the ride, and soon enough they were in front of Izzy’s apartment. They got out and made their way to Izzy’s floor. Simon answered the door

“Hey Alec” he said ushering them inside

“What’s up Simon” Alec said with a smile

The brown haired man turned to Magnus with a smile, extending his hand

“You must be Magnus” he said

“That I am” Magnus said with a smile, shaking simons hand before they both followed him to the living room. The room smelled of freshly popped popcorn and pizza, on the tables there was soda,juices and beer, on the love seat sat Clary and Jace while on the other sat Izzy, who jumped up to greet her brother

“Hey big bro, hey Magnus, you guys are just in time, we’re deciding on La La Land, Star Wars or Titanic” Izzy said as she hugged her brother and his boyfriend before settling back on the seat next to Simon

“I say we do Star Wars, it’s a known classic! The perfect mix between action and comedy, so there’s no going wro-“

“Simon!” Jace snapped pinching his nose as if staving off a head ache, “We’re not doing Star Wars, the whole time you’ll just quote and talk over it, and no one wants to hear you talking for the span of two hours” Jace said with finality causing Simon to huff and glare pointedly at the wall. Clary sent him a apologetic look

“Aw it’s ok babe, we can watch it on date night this week” Izzy said soothingly as she tried not to laugh at her boyfriends antics

Ultimately they ended up settling on La La Land since both Jace and Alec had been forced to watch Titanic one too many times by Izzy and no one was picking Star Wars to Simons dismay. Alec and Magnus settled on the sofa that was left, each taking a beer and sharing one of the bowls of popcorn. By halfway through the movie Alec was slightly drunk on happiness and the beer he had earlier, he had also assumed the position of his head on Magnus’ lap as Magnus combed his fingers through his curls. Alec was so happy and content, that the whole movie he had a faint uncontrollable smile on his face. As Ryan Gosling danced about singing “City of Stars” Alec shifted on Magnus’ lap so that he was looking up at his boyfriend

“Pst” Alec whispered as to get Magnus’ attention “Pstt”

Magnus’ golden gaze locked on his, a amused smile on his lips, “Yes angel?” He asked while one perfectly shaped eyebrow rose in question

Alec smiled bigger at the pet name, “I love you” he whispered like it was a secret between them

Magnus’ smile grew and he leaned down placing a kiss on Alec’s forehead, “I love you too angel” he said softly, which coaxed a happy giggle out of Alec  
“You’re adorable” Magnus said with a fond look

Alec crossed his arms and pouted, “I am not adorable, cows are adorable, I’m stoic and manly” Alec responded, puffing up his chest best he could, which only made Magnus burst into a fit of laughter, causing Alec to do the same

Magnus laughed and was about to say something when a handful of popcorn came flying at his head.

“What the-” Alec inquired as he sat up from his laying position, only to throw his legs over Magnus’, linking their hands together and leaning against his boyfriends broad shoulder. He watched as his siblings and their partners all exchanged a knowing look before Izzy shrugged as she popped a piece of popcorn into her mouth

“You guys were being even more sickeningly cute then the couple in the movie, it was distracting” Izzy said with a nonchalant shrug before turning back to the screen

“Yeah, you guys are so disgustingly in love” Jace added

“You’re like Jack and Rose!” Simon piped in

Alec rolled his eyes and shrugged at his siblings and Simone before snuggling against Magnus. They were probably right, and any other time he would’ve been highly embarrassed, but, in that moment, snuggled next to the one he loved, enjoying a movie after a great day, he couldn’t bring himself to care.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tipsy Alec is a mood
> 
> Hope you enjoyed comments and feedback is always appreciated
> 
> Don’t forget to tweet #SaveShadowhunters


	30. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is the epilogue of the story

_Three years later.._

 

Today...was the day. Magnus fidgeted nervously with his ear cuff as he prepared the music. The students were slowly trickling in and Alec was having a conversation with Catarina as they waiting for everyone to get there so the class would start. Magnus took a deep breath, slipping his hand into his pocket, immediately feeling the small velvety box in contact with his fingers. He could do this. He loved Alec, Alec loved him, they already live together so..this was a good idea.

 

Magnus jumped slightly when he felt a pair of arms encircle him and a kiss being placed on his neck

 

“Hey” whispered Alec with a smile

 

“Hi” Magnus said, turning in his boyfriends arms and wrapping his own around Alec’s shoulders. Alec was dressed beautifully today, he borrowed one of Magnus’ floral shirts and paired it with black pants and white vans. Magnus noticed a small flower tucked behind Alec’s ear, adding to the tropical look

 

”where’d you get that” Magnus said with a tiny chuckle as he motioned to the flower. He watched as Alec looked away shyly for a brief second before jamming a thumb in the direction of the kids, 

“Madzie insisted I wear it, I didn’t have the heart to tell her no” Alec said as he raised his hand to touch the flower “Why does it look as stupid as I think?” He asked

Magnus smiled and shook his head, brushing back some of Alec’s curls, “no it adds to your Look greatly”

Alec smiled widely and let out a laugh “I’m glad” he said before adding, “You ready to teach them the dance? Everyone’s here” Alec said nodding towards the suddenly full room. When did that happen Magnus thought before nodding and smiling at Alec. He handed his phone to Raphael and showed him which track to play

 

Raphael nodded and gave Magnus a rare smile, “you got this brother” he whispered. Magnus smiled nervously and walked over to Alec

_And this evening I, won't let the feeling die  
_

_I never wanna leave your side_

Magnus places a kiss on Alec’s cheek as the music starts, watching as Alecs blue eyes beam up at him from under his black eyelashes. Magnus ran his hand down Alec’s arm as he stepped into position,their hands linking for a split second before they started dancing

_Out of all the girls  
_

_Your my one and only girl_

_Ain't nobody in the world tonight_

They spin and face each other, Magnus dips Alec, making sure to keep eye contact as the students cheered around them 

_All of the stars you make them shine like they were ours  
_

_Ain't nobody in the world but you and I_

_You and I_

_Ain't nobody in the world_

Magnus points to Alec as Alec poses before sliding gracefully around him one way while Magnus goes the other, before they turn back towards each other, eyes locked as they slowly walk back to each other, meeting in the middle

_You keep wondering if you're what I'm wanting  
_

_You don't even have to try_

Magnus pulls Alec in and supports his weight as he rests his knee on Magnus’ upper leg, and Magnus tilts Alec back, their eyes burning into each other with and intense stare as their foreheads rest together, Alec’s hands almost impulsively coming up to cup Magnus’ face, his thumb stroking his jaw lovingly. Realistically Magnus knew there was other people in the room but at the same time, he didn’t see anyone but Alec. They break their embrace to continue the choreography, Alec rhythmically steps closer the the opposite wall as the choreography ensues, and looks over his shoulder towards the wall facing away from Magnus for the ending pose. Magnus’ heart beats wildly in his chest as he reaches into his back pocket, slowly sinking to one knee as he pulls out the small velvety box. Alec turns back around right as Magnus is getting into kneeling position, his eyes looking confused for a split second before registering what’s happening. As the realization hits his hand immediately moves to cover his mouth before moving over his chest as he visibly exhales harshly. His hands keep moving from coving his face with both hands and just covering his mouth with one hand his blue eyes wide with shock as his chest rises up and down rapidly. The kids break out in loud cheers, all of them coming to crowd around their dance teachers in excitement and anticipation

_You don't have to try_

_Don't try_

_Don't try_

The music shuts off and Magnus takes a deep breath, holding the box out to Alec who is covering his mouth and shifting his weight nervously as tears pool in his eyes. Staring up at his beautiful boyfriend, Magnus knows, that this is what he wants. It’s now or never 

 

“You know I love you with all my heart right?” Magnus says softly as he stares up at Alec who nods, taking a deep breath before letting out a quiet and breathless

 

“Yeah”

 

As Alec places his hand on his chest which is rising and falling quickly with each breath

 

“Alexander Gideon Lightwood...will you marry me?” Magnus asks. This is it, this is where he’s either going to be terribly embarrassed for even thinking Alec was up to this or extremely happy for asking because if Alec said-

 

“Yes” Alec nods and whispers even more breathlessly. The crowd bursts into cheers as Alec pulls Magnus up for a kiss

 

*********

Alec smiled contently with his eyes closed as he bathed in the sun, his hands tucked under his head. Five years ago he would’ve never thought he could possibly be this happy but, he was. His smile broadened when he felt a warm body press into his side and soft lips place a kiss on his cheek.

 

“Hello to you too Mags” Alec said with a chuckle, opening his eyes and turning to his husband. Magnus eyes shine and he gave a shrug

 

“What’s speaking when there’s body language” Magnus said with a wiggle of his eyebrows causing Alec to scoff and playfully hit Magnus’ bare chest

 

“By the angel you’re insufferable sometimes” Alec said with a roll of his eyes. Magnus giggle and hummed

 

“That may be true, but, you love me anyway” he said with a dazzling smile. Alec wrapped his arms around Magnus and nodded, “you got me there” he said

 

They spent the rest of the day relaxing,sunbathing and conversing. Rome was truly beautiful. He’d never been out of country but when Magnus suggested they go to Rome for their honeymoon, claiming it was ‘absolutely enchanting’, Alec was all for it. It was a year and half since Magnus had gotten down on one knee and proposed in the middle of the dance room in front of all of their students. Alec sighed contently looking down at the diamond crusted ring, it was still absolutely breathtaking to him. Later that day when he was lying in bed safely tucked in Magnus’ embrace he knew, the answer to the question he asked himself a million times throughout his life. There was no doubt in his mind that this, was love.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The proposal scene based entirely off this video please watch so you understand the scene: https://youtu.be/7lcXuh6J5w8
> 
> Ahh this is officially the end of the Hair Pin Curve story. It’s been a long ride and thank everyone who stuck with me the whole time and to the people who camein along the way. This was my first story so I admit it was a bit choppy and inconsistent, rushed in some places, but I am grateful for the feed back y’all gave me along the way to help me better this story. Although this story is over I hope that at least some of you would check out my upcoming works, and series. Thanks again 
> 
> This is the work I’ll currently be working on: [**Art made public**](https://archiveofourown.org/works/14451693) (9179 words) by [**Aesthetic_bane**](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aesthetic_bane)  
>  Chapters: 2/?  
> Fandom: [Shadowhunters (TV)](https://archiveofourown.org/tags/Shadowhunters%20\(TV\)), [The Mortal Instruments Series - Cassandra Clare](https://archiveofourown.org/tags/The%20Mortal%20Instruments%20Series%20-%20Cassandra%20Clare)  
> Rating: Teen And Up Audiences  
> Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence  
> Relationships: Malec - Relationship  
> Characters: Alexander Lightwood - Character, Magnus Bane, Isabelle Lightwood, Jace Wayland, Catarina Loss, Ragnor Fell, Camille Belcourt, Maryse Lightwood, Robert Lightwood, Dorthea “Dot” Rollins, Jem Carstairs, Tessa Grey, Lucian Greymark, Will Herondale  
> Additional Tags: Malec, Past Abuse, Magnus Bane Deserves Nice Things, Protective Alec, Alexander Lightwood and Magnus bane, alexander lightwood, pandemonium, Fluff, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Musician Alec Lightwood, Musician Magnus Bane, Physical Abuse, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Emotional Manipulation, POV Magnus Bane, POV Alexander Lightwood, Hurt/Comfort, The Heart Wants What It Wants, quotes, based off songs, camille is a bitch, Insecure Magnus Bane, Insecure Alec Lightwood, Homophobia, Bad Parent Maryse Lightwood, Bad Parent Robert Lightwood, Depression, Slow Burn, Camp, High school Malec  
> Summary:
> 
>  
> 
> Alec had been going to the music camp The Institute ever since he was 12. Now at 17, and even though Alec loved playing the cello,he was more than ecstatic that it was his last year at this superficial place his mom insisted he continued going to. That is.. until he meets a certain Magnus Bane.
> 
> At only 17, Magnus has already been to Edom and back, almost quite literally, and music, the piano specifically, was the only constant in his life. When his longtime music teacher gives him a free scholarship to a expensive music camp, he is delighted. He was expecting stuck up music teachers and judgemental peers but, what he doesn’t expect is Alec Lightwood.

**Author's Note:**

> "But when I saw her, the only thing I could think about was the hairpin curve of her lips.."- Neil Hilborn  
> Please give feedback, if i should continue, and if there's any changes that should be made
> 
> (Some quotes are included from the poem ocd by Neil Hilborn)


End file.
